January 20, 2010 at 12:20 pm #6675
I ve been suffering from PND for the last 2 and a half years. I ve been on medication for a year and a half. Meds have definitely helped me get to some level of normality. I ve been doing well for the last few months with the odd slip up but that is to be expected.
However I ve been finding the last few days really tough. I just cant seem to snap out of this low, numb feeling I have. I ve been getting snappy with the kids and I know its not fair on them and it doesnt make me feel anything but guilty. My sleep is starting to be affected too and I know that is the start of my downward spiral.
I ve tried to help myself by getting out for walks and writing down my thoughts and feelings but still cant shift the low. I ve noticed that I ve started to comfort eat too, which I know doesnt help at all but cant stop doing it.
Sorry for the long post but needed to get it out in the open. I realise I need to talk to hubby and I ll try to do that this evening.January 20, 2010 at 12:24 pm #86661munchinParticipant
Maria just wanted to say chin up – putting it down in writting has to help and you seem to know your triggers and how to help yourself – hope your feeling a bit better 😉January 20, 2010 at 12:31 pm #86663
Writing down my feelings and thoughts definitely help. Plus you have made me realise that I know my triggers and I suppose if I know them then that is a big step.January 20, 2010 at 12:31 pm #86664Larissa AtkinsonMember
Keep your head up Maria, it wont last forever, it takes time for your hormone levels to balance out. During your pregnancy you have a big rush of hormones (oestrogen and relaxin) to prepare you for birth but when you give birth there is a huge loss of hormones which can make you feel down and low. Do try to get out for walks as exercise helps to release "happy hormones" and gives you a feel good factor. Try get the kids out with you which means you’ll be having some quality time with them istead of staying in felling low and snapy. I had PND after my second and found getting out walkin etc and also talking to people about it helps. You should talk to hubby but I know its probably hard for him to see it from your poin ot view. I wish you all the best and hope you get well soon. Try to smile every day 🙂January 20, 2010 at 2:09 pm #86672JedtKeymaster
I think you are great for actually posting this. I’ll bet there are lots of other mums getting comfort from your post, as they know they are not alone.
Do you have family and friends nearby that you can visit for a chat?
If you are free on Friday morning, do you fancy coming to the Bettystown Court Hotel. We have a parent & baby swim at 10am and then tea/coffee etc at 11am. Some mums come for both but some just come for the chat afterwards.
We all feel down sometimes but with PND it is even more important to get how you are feeling off your chest.
Writing things down is a great way to do that and a good tip is to end the writing with something positive. So, lets say you are keeping a daily diary and you write how you feel at the end of it, write one or twogood things that happened that day. Even if its something silly, like the kids making you laugh, as long as its positive because thats the last thing you’ll think about when you’ve finished writing.
Hope to see you Friday if you can make it and thanks for sharing this, you are very brave and have probably helped some other mums by doing so.
xxJanuary 20, 2010 at 2:47 pm #86675
Thanks Larissa and Sabbi for your comments.
I have the footpaths of Drogheda worn away with all the walking I do. I find it a help and gets me out of house and away from the bomb site it usually is. How can a 2 and half yr old make so much mess before 9am??? I try not to let it bother me too much and only clean up his toys in the evening now rather than every 10 mins. I just push stuff into corner so nobody falls and breaks their neck!
Sabbi, I dont drive so cant make it to Bettystown unfortunately. I’m going to learn this year though so maybe later in the year I’ll make it.
I know there are a few people on site that have or had PND and I hope we can all learn from each other how to overcome it. Knowledge is power after all. I hope that by talking about it and people realising its an illness like any other and it might be more acceptable.
Definitely need to work on turning negatives into positives.January 20, 2010 at 2:58 pm #86679scole1Member
chin up girl, it’ll get better, i too suffered from it, and sometimes feel it creeping back in but i push aside not gonna let it win again…..
just keep going and feel free to sit and cry talk anything there’s people here to support you….pm if ya need a chat…..
xx here’s to a good day you know you can get there..January 20, 2010 at 4:17 pm #86693
pet I am with you too, I have pnd for the last almost 4 yrs now and with alot of chopping and changing on meds I think I am on the right one now.
For anyone who never had pnd its so hard to describe to them how you feel , dh or dp never understand , you get oh its ur hormones or its the time of month lark.
I have been in many a dark place and thankfully i got out of it.
I have been told to also go to counselling as it will help but i have made appointments cancelled them as I was just not ready within myself to deal with my issues iykwim.
I am always on here and you can pm me anytime.
sending you hugs
xxJanuary 20, 2010 at 8:33 pm #86704
Thanks Almae and Scole. Its good to know there are other people out there who have gone or are going through PND.
Had a bit of a chat and cry with hubby when he got home from work so feel a bit better. I know he will try to help out more once he knows how I m feeling. One thing I learnt at counselling is that hes not a mind reader (kinda knew that already) no more than I am!
I think part of my problem is when I do have a slip I get scared that I m going to go back to those horrible dark lonely days and that is frightening.
Almae, I know what you mean about being in the right place to go to counselling. You definitely need to feel comfortable and at ease with your decision to go. It took me 8 months to make appointment but when I did go I found it very good. It definitely helped me through some tough times.
Thanks for all your support and you can pm me any time.January 20, 2010 at 10:10 pm #86715FabienneMember
I feel your pain.
Sometimes, having a pet, maybe a dog to walk could be a nice compagny, but a bit of work as well.
And every mum will tell you the same.
Leave the toys where they are, not going anywhere, having toys everywhere is a sign of a family home.
I tidy a bit in the evening, or when special visitors, but try not let it bothers you (easier say than done).
You have to allow some "me time".
When I feel very down, I manage to find some time to have some reflexology (my reflexologist is very very good and sooooo cheap), she restore some balance in my body and on top of that I had my long hour child-free.
After I always have more energy and my children and dh are getting an happier mum/wife.
Hope between, conversation with partner, friends, mumstown parents, and medication you’ll feel better soon.
FabienneJanuary 20, 2010 at 10:41 pm #86720Taylor5Member
Maria im a pnd sister too… 4 years now and it got very very bad after i had a mc then my second ds was born, the first 11 months of his life were kinda a blur…. Im on meds and love my doctor he is brilliant, talking is great. Almae gave me great support and help me make a huge change in my life, its made all the difference, would have just plodded along otherwise, so talking is good for you.
I will second what Fabienne said, feck the house. I was once sooo house proud now I dont give a rats… dh asked me did I want to go to the beach with the kids I was like "oh i wanted to hover etc"…. then I said feck it the floor will still be here tomorrow maybe one of us wont….. live for the now!
The tears are good and its the time of year… i spent the whole of Sunday and Monday crying my eyes out!!!
You can always pm me if you want….
Cyber HugsJanuary 20, 2010 at 10:52 pm #86724
i meant to say that about the house , to shite with the house , as long as you can function , look after your child thats all that matters.,
I am only getting into a routine now after almost 4 yrs , hubby came home tonight and nearly shit himself when the counter in the kitchen was clean 🙂 LOL , thats a miracle in this house 🙂
I am not saying it will take you 4 yrs everyone is different and handles things differently.
I made 2 appointments in the last 6 months for counselling and with an hour to go on each one i canceled. I just cant open up yet. there is things i have bottled up even my own family dont know about my hubby does as I did that last night and today I felt in a good place.
It is great to talk and I loved having a chat with other mams on here as you realise how alike you really are to other mams.
Just take each day as it comes and dont be worrying about teh house , if washing is building up , if you can afford it get it into a laundrette and once they wash and fold it out of the dryer it shouldnt need to be ironed , thats why all my clothes looked like i slept on them for a month 🙂 lolJanuary 20, 2010 at 11:32 pm #86743Taylor5Member
Very well said its such a taboo that you feel alone and a failure, but when you talk to other mums alot of us are going through the same feelings and emotions.
you cant be all things to everyone…… in 2010 I’ve started to put me FIRST, feck the house, the kids etc… dh can mind them just a well if not better then me. With pnd we need to loosen the grip and let go of the control for everyones sakeJanuary 21, 2010 at 10:31 am #86762
i have to second what taylor5 said , I have decided to put me first this year , I have dd 95% of the time and when hubby does have her for that little 5% he sees it as BABYSITTING 👿 , that has been knocked on the head big time.
I am starting my salsa slims class tonight and I cannot wait , I have never done anything for myself apart from the beading Idid in High Lanes cafe before Xmas. I intend in doing more things for me that involve me having a break.
Hubby gets to go out for a drink , has his running etc. The last time I was out for a drink was Feb 09 and that will change this year.January 21, 2010 at 12:25 pm #86775
Thanks girls for all your support. I m so glad I posted now. I was thinking about it for a while and decided I had nothing to lose. Which is true and I have gained so much from you all.
I definitely dont let the housework annoy me anymore. Just live in hope that the cleaning fairy will find my house someday and sort it out for me. Its not dirty, its untidy and lived in and I ve come to the conclusion that that is the way it should be 🙂
Almae, I agree about hubby getting off lightly. Mine is the same, he goes kick boxing and football once a week plus goes out for a few drinks the odd wkend. I cant even get to the toilet by myself. If ds2 isnt in there with me, ds1, ds2 or hubby talking to me through the door. This drives me mad at time 👿
Heres hoping that we put ourselves first in 2010 and get the space we need without feeling guilty
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