having a hard time

[anw]

thanks everyone

yes I did contact my G P and social worker and they are concerned and I am now on tablets.

I never planned to crash my car with my kids inside. I always thought about it when I was alone in my car. I am not that demented that I am a killer. Just suicidal to myself. I love my kids.

[libby1]

Thanks
You shared your problems…

Hopefully the tablets will work and you will get sorted.. i was thinking of you today..

[anw]

Thanks a lot Libby1

I am completely overwhelmed and last night I did not sleep at all as my anxiety is through the roof…. it is awful to say as I did not wish things to turn out this way.

My social worker is really worried and will call out to me Monday. In the meantime I spoke to my boss who is not happy to take me back (not that I want to as I feel far too unwell) but as a result I am a bit stressed out financially now and researched online whether or not I could apply for Disability Allowance instead.

It is a bit of a maze going through the social welfare legislation to see if I would have a chance. Not that I even have the energy right now but it would be an enormous comfort to me to think that I could take a break from work to get better and not have to be really broke as that is awful too, especially as I am sending my kids to crèche still.

Anyhow I hope things sort out as I actually feel quite helpess and unable to figure it all out.

[Jedt]

Your social worker should be able to advise and help about the allowances so try not to stress too much about that – the social worker is there to help you. Ask her to help you apply for that on Monday when you see her.

if you are stressed financially and explain this to her, she should be able to help you get that problem sorted.

glad you were able to talk to your GP. the tablets can take a few days to kick in so please just try to be calm and patient and hopefully in a few days you will feel ok.

[allyj]

hi anw, I felt so sad for you when I read your post and very concerned. Regardless if your distress is caused by post natal depression or some other form of depression, you must believe and remind yourself that it is temporary, with the right help and support you will get better. It is great that you have taken the vital first steps to get the help that you need. When you start to feel better and you find the strength, do try to build up a support network around yourself. There is a help line number specifically for post natal depression at http://www.pnd.ie and they may be able to tell you what supports are in your area. Also, I believe that public health nurses also play a role in supporting mothers who are struggling with post natal depression. And you mentioned you are still breastfeeding (fair play to you with all you have going on), perhaps cuidiu or La Leche League may have support groups in your area. Medication can take some time to work, so please hang in there cos your kids need you to stick around. I can tell you that a good friend of mine lost her mother when she was only a toddler and it has had such an impact on her life. Nobody could ever replace you for your children, they only have one mammy so please look after her.

[Jedt]

Hey anw, how are you doing? Hope you are doing ok.

I saw today that there is an ‘Emotional Wellbeing Conference’ on in May and I thought it might be of interest to you?

It is being run by Nurture, who help women with post natal depression and here are all the details:
http://nurture-emotional-wellbeing-conf … ntbrite.ie
Date: Saturday 10th May, 2014
Venue: Gresham Hotel, 23 Upr. O’Connell Street, Dublin 1
Registration: 9.00am (Presentation of CPD Certificates)
Conference Commences: 9.30am Sharp
Conference Finishes: 1.40pm
Coffee Break: 11.00am – 11.20am
Cost of Conference: €40 per person
Double Ticket Discount: €70 in total

[chewieodie]

I have nothing to add to all the helpful comments on here… other than, a problem shared is a problem halved… 😉

This is a place where you can safely voice your feelings, and you will always find someone willing to listen… and help in any way they can….

I’m just sending you a virtual hug, and letting you know that you aren’t alone…xxx

[anw]

Thanks everyone! The conference sounds great, it is too far for me to travel but it was nice of you to post the info and maybe others will benefit from it, I am doing ok, I am getting through each day right now.

I still have suicidal thoughts but tomorrow my g.p and social worker are referring me to the local mental health team and it looks like they might give me stronger meds if it needs to be done. In the meantime I have a nurture counselling appointment next Wednesday in limerick so that’s something good I can focus on.

Thanks to everyone for all your best wishes and helpful advice and comments……

[Jedt]

That all sounds really good and its positive that you are taking stepa to get help.and get well. Please keep posting when you need to and please let us know how you get on at the.nurture appt next week amd with the mental health team. Hope you will be feeling better soon. Take care.

[scole1]

hi anw..

i’ve just logged on and read your posts…there is always a way to find help, and firstly you have done the brave thing in voicing what is in your head and admit you need help…this is always the hardest thing to do..but know that you have ways and means to get help and a platform here to share how you are feeling where others will listen and not judge but help guide..

pieta.ie is also a good place to go to for advice specially set up for those with suicidal thoughts…

love and hope with you… x

[anw]

hi guys

just reporting back that I voluntarily went into the psyciatric ward for 9 days and that i have follow up with the mental health team from now on as an outpatient. I was also given tranquillizers and anti depressants so am on 40 mg and 2.5 mg.

[Yvonne]

Hi,
Only read this thread now, so sorry to hear of the hard time you are going through… but you have made the biggest steps going to the doctor and talking. It will all work out.

Take care of yourself xx

[Jedt]

You are doing the right thing. Many of us struggle and do not ask for help until it gets too late but you caught this in time and I hope soon, you will be back to yourself. xx

[libby1]

Anw

You must be so proud that you have got the help you needed, some people didn’t get the opportunity you are having xxxx

Hopefully the mental health support will work for you.. Thinking of you, mind yourself

[scole1]

keep going….well done you… you are so strong you just didn’t realize it… xxx

[Author]

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