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My ten year came home from school today asking if she can set up her own social media account . Everyone in school is on it was her argument . So aftersitting down and chatting this through i found out that of course not everyone was on it but 3 girls and 2 boys are one of these girls being her close friend . Now ive told her no way not a hope shes too young etc etc so now shes saying she feels left out when these children are talking about things they’ve posted etc. Her Dad is saying go play with the children who
arent on these sites . One of the other reasons is two of these children have been in trouble for bullying in school so that fear is there . . Am i right to not allow her set up an account and at what age should i start thinking about allowing her have a social media page . Thanks in advance.No no no no no!!!!! I think 10 is way too young!!!
One of my relatives has a daughter who is 11 and she convinced them to let her have a Facebook account because ‘all her friends’ (ahem) had them. She went on and on and on about it and eventually, they caved in and let her have it. At the start it seemed ok and they watched what she was upto but as she got some freedom and became more private about it, the whole thing has turned into a disaster.
She became withdrawn and quiet and when they asked her what was wrong she would not say. They checked into her facebook account and saw a lot of bullying going on. She ended up missing school and speaking to the doc about it because she was so stressed from it all. There were girls writing on FB about cutting themselves and sex and periods and all sorts and she is just to young to process that kind of information and it was all too much for her.
My son is 11 and he wants a FB account and we say no way. We are thinking of letting him use Snapchat because his cousin lives abroad and they can chat on there and it seems relatively harmless but we need to look into it more before we decide on that one.
We parent our kids according to what we think is best and while it makes us unpopular at times, we do it for their greater good and just hope that one day they will be happy that we did what we did. We need to protect them, that is our job and by being what they think is mean is really, actually just being a parent.
Hope that helps a bit. Its a minefield when they get to this age…
I would not give in. Kids are great at throwing the "everyone is allowed/has one etc" but as you say, it’s not actually true. There is a reason that facebook has a minimum age of 13.
This is an excellent opportunity for you begin the discussions with your child around internet safety. It’s something that many parents feel very concerned about and its not going away! But you can arm yourself.
(Snapchat is something I wouldn’t advise for tweens/young teens either as it’s almost impossible for parents to monitor as the messages disappear so quickly – I’d be more inclined to let them use whatsapp (its free – but do set very specific boundaries around its use) or facetime/skype to keep in touch with relatives
Here’s a recent article I wrote on the subject and there is a downloadable tips sheet on my site here http://cacoaching.ie/on-line-safety-and-your-children/For some parents, using the internet can be as scary as walking a tightrope across the Grand Canyon on a windy day. Some people get a complete mental block about using sites and either feel like they need to do a course or find someone to help them navigate sites…just incase they cause the computer to explode! It is very much based around a fear of the unknown. Many people didn’t get a chance to grips with the internet as it was evolving and have now almost resigned themselves to the fact that they just don’t know how to use it and that’s that.
Children and young people, on the other hand, embrace the internet like it’s their best friend! There is absolutely no fear factor and they feel so confident that they will accept any new popular sites and learn as they go. They delve into nearly all nooks and crannies of sites they enjoy (many of these being social media outlets), until they figure out how it works and then off they go into cyberspace to discover the world.
Both of these attitudes have created a sense of growing distance between some parents and children resulting in parents relying on media outlets to inform them of the “dangerous” sites that can cause their children harm, while at the same time, almost providing a road map for young people to explore a new site they shouldn’t. Well here’s the good news parents, it doesn’t have to be like this and there are a number of really helpful sites out there that can help you learn and understand all about the sites your children use every day (see the list below!).
How we access the internet is constantly changing and, as parents, it’s important to be aware of how your children are using the internet on a daily basis. We’ve progressed from a big bulking computer and monitor in the corner of the kitchen to having the ability to access the internet via tablets and phones and using glasses is just around the corner…who knows where this will lead us next!
With all this in mind, online bullying has become a real and tangible issue for both young and old alike. Whereas, years ago bullying was generally confined to outside the child’s door, with the ever expanding use of technology, we have unintentionally opened our front door and invited bullying into the home. As parents we can’t completely prevent our children from going online, and it’s important to not scaremonger your children about the internet but it is important to discuss with them how they can keep themselves safe while online, just as you would teach them about road safety or stranger danger.
So what can parents do.
Tips for Kids
People you are talking to online may not be who they say they are.
Only put up information you’d be happy for your parents & relatives to see/read.
Everyone should check out webwise.ie for tips on staying safe.
Only accept people as friends online if you know them in person.
Never agree to meet an online friend in person, without permission from your parents.
Not everything you read online is actually correct.
Respect others and yourself while online as you would in person.
Show your parents how to use the internet!
Don’t give out personal information (phone number, address etc.).
Tips for Parents
Discover the internet together.
Make sure you have good lines of communication open with your children.
Learn about what social media your children use and how they use it.
Check internet history.
Don’t overreact if you find something that makes you uncomfortable, it’s possible your child got there by accident.
Encourage your child to let you know if they ever feel uncomfortable.
Save any abusive/concerning messages sent to your children, no matter what devise it is on.
Report any obscene messages to your local gardai.
Set guidelines for internet use whether at home or on mobile devices.
Set up the computer in a busy space in the house (kitchen/sitting room).
Get parental controls on your devices and your children’s devices. Use filtering software and keep it up to date.
Check http://www.webwise.ie regularly for updates on the latest trends in social media activity.
I know that a lot of folk think its okay for kids to have FB accounts…. but personally, I am not one of them. So what if other kids have them….? They’ll get over it. My son has been asking me too… and he is 9. Not a hope will it happen. Both of them have tablets, and we allow them access to the different apps etc through "Kids Place"… which means that they can only go onto apps and games that we have approved. Also…. tablets are played downstairs etc…. not allowed up in their rooms, because there is less chance of them getting into mischief if they can see us about. Social media is a timebomb…. and as far as I am concerned, kids don’t have the skills to be able to diffuse the situations that can possibly arise. I know that I personally belong to various groups etc, and I have elected to remove myself from some of them, based on the kinds of comments etc that some of the members make. Some just downright nasty. So, call me over-protective or whatever, so be it…. I am just a lioness protecting my cubs… and there is plenty of time for the "nastiness" in the world…. let them be kids for as long as possible…. just my opinion…. 😉 x
Our 11 year old keeps asking for snapchat and we’ve said no. He also asked for facebook but we have said no. There is no way he is old enough to handle the internet and social media.
As much as he likes to think he is almost a teen, he is still a child and although it makes us unpopular, we are determined to say no to him for another while yet.
He has been asking for a phone – what do ye think about that?
I have a 13 yr old and a 16yr old
my 16 DS got Facebook account when he was 13, I still monitor it weekly..
my 13 DD has no interest in Facebook at all, she would go on to my page and look at photographs from the basketball and scout group she is attached to…They both have iPods, and my son brought his own iPad , they have phones, my dd only uses hers, when she goes out with friends..
my ds uses his phone more.My dd told me last week that she needs to update her iPod or get a better phone as she needs iso 7 to download Apps for school homework.
We are easy going about most things but I have said a huge no to Facebook.
She has instagram but I have it set up on my phone too under her log in so I can monitor everything .Hi all,
This may be very off – topic but I am currently researching girls between the ages of 13 and 15 as part of my thesis for my Masters in Social Studies. I have designed a questionnaire which can be found on the link below. I am appealing to parent as girls under 18 cannot take part without her parents permission. I would be extremely grateful if you could get your daughter to fill this out or not mention it to another part with a girl this age. Your help and support is greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this information.
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