Hi anw,
It’s some time since you last posted on this thread, and hopefully things are going well for you, but I wanted to make a point that stands out to me in what you have written.
You mobilised yourself and sought help. As difficult a time as you were having, you were able to reach out to those who could help you and began to create a way of dealing with what you were going through.
What we don’t speak about in everyday conversation is that very many people have thoughts of harming themselves or think of suicide – when one is in an unbearable situation we think of ways out of it, and suicide is the ultimate way to end our suffering. However, for all the people who contemplate suicide a small minority act upon those thoughts and sadly end their lives. My point is that thoughts of suicide do not imply the act of suicide. There is always the possibility that things can change – maybe not completely, but they can be born with the help of others, and I believe that speaking with someone you trust, who can help you bear what otherwise seems unbearable, can be a great start.
As ever, the Samaritans can be contacted on [size=150]116 123[/size] for those in immediate need of help.
Best wishes,
Joe.