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Hi,
I’m really in trouble right now. I went back to work at the start of Janaury and my baby (now 12 months) started the creche. Since day one he was constantly sick. I missed 2 days of work due to being sick myself and the rest was covered by either taking time off or working from home.
Well, yesterday the little one got a fever again so I couldn’t bring him to the creche today. His daddy is home with him right now, but he has meetings on later and I will have to take over. So I told HR earlier and she got really really angry. She’s organising a meeting about me now. I’m just wondering if anyone knows what the legal situation is on this? Can they fire you because your baby is sick too often? I haven’t really missed work (except fror 2 days) since I worked from home.Can’t help you on the legalities at all I am afraid but what a bitc* .
Hope some one can help with the legalities of it all..
Best of luck xyou are entitled to force majeure leave whereby your child is sick and your presence is required. 3 days in one year or 5 days in 3 years max. This is paid leave and does not affect other leave. You must however write to your employer stating the dates you were absent and pps no and request that these dates are used as force majeure leave. see this for more info:
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/em … _work.html
A half day counts as a full day FM leave.
also i work in a creche and I would always take eninacea to build my immunity. You can get it in drop form for kids and it helps them fight off wee bugs.
Thanks for your replies! I have to have a look at that link later. The thing is though, that I never missed any work, because I worked from home.
My manager actually agreed (we just spoke about it last week) that Icould work from home if there is an emergency. He is on holidays this week. It’s HR that is going mad now and she wants to call a meeting about this etc… 😯 . She doesn’t seem to believe anything I say, which is so weird! I’ve been working with her for 5 years now, I was never sick myself for 2 years. I don’t really have a track record of being unreliable!
I really feel for you, HR can have some bad people who like power too much.
I had an awful time with HR after my first baby was born. We had agreed I would work from home 2 days a week and in the office 2 days a week (I was taking 1 day parental leave for the 5th day)
But just as I was due back to work, they suddenly changed this agreement on me, with no notice whatsoever and informed me I was required to work a 5 day week in the office with compulsory overtime when they needed it.
My job had been outsourced to India and they said I was being offered an office based position instead. The office position was not negotiable despite me having childcare and everything sorted for the agreement we had in place. The position was also 4 grades lower than the managerial position I held before I went on maternity leave. They said that since the salary was the same, I had nothing to argue about.
My boss seemed slightly ashamed about what they were doing to me but the HR girl was a total nightmare about it. She even threw in that because I was a mum, it would be better for me to have a less demanding position because I would probably be compromised in my abilities some days if baby woke at night. And this nonsense came from a woman??!!
I had worked there 5 years, had been promoted 3 times and had been around the world with the company. I had a great track record, often winning awards for my teams but none of that seemed to count when I became a mammy and was looked at as if I had a lobotomy.
After much stress I eventually took the redundancy they ‘offered’ (forced) me to take. I was sad about the way they treated me more than anything. I gave so much of myself to that company and I loved my job so much and to be treated like that was very upsetting to me.
Still, if I had not been nudged out of there I would not have done all the things I have since then like writing a book and writing for some newspapers and of course Mumstown. I feel very lucky now that I have some flexibility and if I have a bad night with one of the kids, I can go take a nap during the day.
My advice to you would be, read the maternity act about how they are supposed to treat you when you return to work and if you are being called into any meetings with HR, bring a co-worker you trust with you. You are entitled to have a co-worker there as your witness and to support you at any HR meetings.
Also, ask HR (someone else if possible, not this girl who is being horrible) to send you the company policies about sick leave, force majeur etc. Basically, arm yourself with as much information as possible and also, try not to get emotional when the meeting happens.
I wanted to cry my eyes out when they handed me the redundancy papers but I held my head high and said I would think about it. They pushed me to take it there and then that day -without even wanting me to talk with my husband about it – and it gave me great pleasure to say no and to get the upper hand on the HR girl for once.
I left that office and went straight to my GP and cried my eyes out and he wrote me off work for a month due to stress and when I sent that letter into HR they went mental and sent me to the company doctor. I was so genuinely devastated at the way they had treated me that I was in an awful state by the time I got to the company docs office and he said I was treated awfully and wrote me off for another 3 months! It was a small victory but still a very sad situation. I got full pay all that time and then at the end of it, took the redundancy. It made me feel better that I got one over on them when they were trying to fob me off and get rid of me without any fuss….
I really hope it does not come to anything like that for you. Read up as much as you can and be calm at all times. They expect women to be emotional and fall apart in situations like this so if you hold your head high, that will show you in the best light possible.
Hard to do but you can do it….stay strong.
Sometimes its hard to be a woman….. 😉
Oh Sabbi that’s s shocking story!!! 👿
I guess I will have to wait until next week when my manager is back and see what happens in the meeting. I will ask them for a solution they both agree on for days like this when the child is sick and if they come up with one, I ask them to give it to me in writing. Just in case I need this document for something in the future 😉 .
The thing is, at the end of the day, employees are dispensable and even though its politically incorrect to say this, mothers are often the least desirable employees to have.
We are first and foremost mothers and second to that, employees. When we are in our early twenties and our careers are soaring, we don’t have to worry about sick babies and sleepless nights and we can commit ourselves and the companies we work for love that. But when we have babies, they are often less than excited about it.
I remember before I found out about the change in my work terms the girl from HR, who I had worked alongside for 5 years and had always gotten on well with (even though I suspected she was devoid of all emotion), asked me innocently one day when I was in the office showing off my new baby, if he was feeding well for me. I said he was ok, as a first baby he had been a bit fussy about breastfeeding and was waking once or twice a night but he was generally grand.
When I had that awful meeting about my work terms changing where they wanted me to take the redundancy she threw that conversationback in my face and said maybe if I had bottle fed him he would not be waking up at night!! She claimed that him waking could affect my ability to function properly at work during the day. If I knew it would be thrown back at me, I would have chosen my words far more carefully
The point is, no matter how long you’ve worked there or how well you’ve done, things are different now you are a mammy and you need to protect yourself as much as possible. Bring a co-worker to meetings, get copies of the minutes of each meeting to make sure there can be no discrepancies if disputes arise.
Sorry to sound so negative but I remember when I was a manager before I was a mam, the HR girls would say awful things about employees who were parents. One time I actually heard someone from HR say that employees should be loyal to the company before flitting off to a sick child. I was not a parent myself at that time but it stuck with me because I knew no parent in their right mind would choose work over their sick child.
Be wary….I hope you get it all sorted and can come to an arrangement that suits you all.
Best of luck.
Thanks so much Sabbi for sharing your experience! It doesn’t sound negative at all, just realistic!
The only thing I really cannot get my head around is, that I’m getting all this grief from a WOMAN (who might have children herself one day…).
About two weeks ago I had a meeting with my manager and he told me that he had a meeting with our general manager about my situation. He actually offered me to work from home for 1 or 2 days a week. I would have to do something different from what I normally do, but it’s interesting and I wouldn’t mind. This week I’m basically getting trained on this new task. I told her about this arrangement, but she doesn’t believe a word I say. It’s SO strange 😯 .
She had a long meeting with our general manager yesterday and I hope he remembered the meeting he had with my manager… 🙄 .I mentioned in some other thread before that I’m a foreigner and I find it really strange that there is no system in place in Ireland for working parents when the child is sick. In my home country parents have 10 sick days per year, that they can take when a child is sick. Once those days have run out, you take holidays (if you cannot work from home). I’ve never heard of anyone being in trouble for their child being sick?! And the fact that you can get a warning for being sick or having a sick child (we did lots of research yesterday) just doesn’t make sense to me at all!
That is just bullying. Talk to someone at your local citizens advice centre. I think there is an accepted number of days that you can be out sick but most employers accept that kids get sick.
I think there are people that will abuse this and take lots of days off but you have only been out two days. There is no way that they can sack you – you would have to have a history over several months. Even then, they must give a few warnings.
The dictator in HR appears to have a power surge to the brain and not a lot to amuse herself. Be very wary of this woman. I assume that there is either no union in your company or that you are not part of a union? These are the people that would protect you. Failing that, keep records of all contact with this woman. Employees have rights and she must handle any grievances in a correct manner.
The unfortunate thing about a baby starting in a new creche / with a new minder is that for the first month, they will pick up all the bugs that they had never been exposed to in the past. It is also that time of the year for all the coughs / colds.
Good luckand I hope your baby is feeling better.
She may have kids someday herself says it all to me. She has no children and cannot comprehend the seriousness of a sick child and how it HAS to be your number 1 priority.
Get meeting minutes from every meeting. There seems to be alot of meetings going on about your situation and you need to have everything documented – for your own protection.
Perhaps you should write up minutes of the meeting you had with your manager and show it to him/her and ask him/her if they agree with what you wrote as a fair summary of that meeting. that will give you a good back up if you need it.
is there someone else in HR you can deal with? this woman sounds like a bit of a weapon!!
Best of luck and keep us posted.
There are some legal experts on Mumstown, two solicitors who are both mums themselves and if you need some legal advice (hopefully you won’t but just incase you do) you can contact them in the Ask the expert section on viewforum.php?f=81 or check out their website on http://www.mcgradysweeney.ie/
HTH
You’ll love this!
We spent ages in the Lourdes yesterday because the fever was a bit out of control and the GP was at a loss what could be wrong the our child.
Anyway, I went into work this morning, but I knew I had to leave early and I will have to stay at home tomorrow. We only have the one HR person unfortunately. I just cut her out today and went to our general manager. Well, he had no clue what I was talking about! She never talked to him about me, she just said that to scare (bully) me! 🙄
I asked him if we can have a meeting with my manager next week so we can find a solution for days like this. I don’t want to have to discuss this every time my child is sick.I also askedthe GP yesterday to give me a letter of confirmation that I have attended his clinic many times in the last few weeks so no one can question this anymore.
It looks like this is a one woman show so far!
What a cow!!! A lying cow at that….
i was the very same a sabbi, i was to return to work on term agreed (by a male manager) before my maternity, the month i was to return i was told the hours/days agreed wouldnt work and i had to work until 7pm most evenings, the creche closed at 6pm, my new female manager was a total cow to me, i went to the gp and roared my eyes out, he gave me a sick note for 3 months….. i never went back to work!!
My manager who informed me how many years she spent in college etc… well done woman, fair play to you but i dont give a shite, all i want is the hours i was promised so i can work and get my child minded, well 2 years later the Dragon herself got pregnant, she had kicked up such a fuss over the rest of us mothers, she ended up not able for the stress of motherhood and working and jack her very very well paid job in…. i bumped into her in blanch one day, she tried to stop and talk to me, she said something about how hard it was being a new mother!!! Yeah try being a new mother with a bitch for a boss…. i think she got the message 😆 😆 😆God well done Taylor.
Sorry but these work work work driven women just don’t get it …
I don’t think any one on their death bed would be saying… I wish with my life I had spent more time at work…. 👿
Here we go again… Today I was told I will have a meeting with my manager, hr and our general manager to discuss my absences. 🙄 My manager thinks I should take my son out of the creche and find a childminder, who will mind him when he is sick! My son hat a 39.9C fever and was completely out of action. I even had to take him to the hospital. What childminder would take that on and how is that right? This guy has two children of his own! 😯
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