biting

[noeleenw]

my nephew is 5 ,my ds is 3 , my other ds is 10… dn was 5 the other day , he has special needs- not too bad- anyway he was pushing my younger son, not letting him play with toys etc, we kind of ignored it and left a bit early, on the way home ds 10 told me our nephew had bit him twice… now i am livid, can tolerate a little bit of pushing etc but biting is another story, dont know whether to tell the kids mam… my younger son doesnt want to go to their house anymore what to do?

[pookie2]

Speaking purely as a mum whose child was bitten several times at creche & then tries it out a few times on his older brother at home…..

Let the mum know that it happened – she probably has no idea, but do so ‘for her information’ when you are calm, rather than when you are hot under the collar about the ‘bad behaviour of her brat’ – if you know what I mean.

Don’t take it personally or allow it to define your relationship with the parents. Biting is not at all unusual for toddlers up to three or so, and if he has special needs and is developmentally delayed, that could be the phase he is at. It is not a sign that he is spoilt etc. He’s just testing boundaries & expressing frsutration.

It is the same for sharing toys – boys often only develop this skill around three and if he is developmentally delayed, he might not be capable of doing it yet.

Your son will recover. Just let him know that if it happens again, he is to do a song and a dance about it!!!!

It is annoying to have a child hurt your child, but I suspect that some other factors are contributing to you ‘being livid’ & this was just the final straw.

That said, biting is not acceptable under any circumstances & for that reason the mum needs to be told. If she makes excuses, that needs to be emphasised. However, like most mums, she’ll probably just be mortified.

[munchin]

my dd is a biter, it is mainly her older sister infact she’s only ever biten one other child and he had teased her, it started around the time she was 1 1.5 and was mainly to get her older sister away from her – she hadn’t got the words to express herself so she’d lash out – don’t get me wrong we don’t condone it or allow i’m just explaining why. Once she could tell her older sibling to "go way" the biting dramatically decreased. It still happens but only occasionally. I would be mortified if she did bite another child BUT i would most definitely want to know – it’s not acceptable behvaiour and i would want to know so i could deal with it.

[Taylor5]

My ds2 was bitten by his friend, then he bit the friend back and that stopped her bitting… but my ds learned a new skill and was using his bigger brother as practice. I caught him a few times and i bit him hard on the hand….. it did stop.
he was at his friends house and bit her, the mam did tell me when i got back and i was glad she did tell me. I know your nephew has special needs but most 5year olds are very strong, if a young child got a bit from a five year old they could do some damage, i think your best to tell.

I was at my nephews party before christmas and an 8 year old pushed my 3 year old off his chair and he punched him in the back… i did sort it and told my sister the next day, she had that child in her house since and watched him , she did notice how he was being really sly and hitting all the other kids…. she hasnt allowed him into the house to play since and her 8 year old is much happier and he told her he doesnt miss the friend as he was always hitting and hurting him!! I think your better off telling xxxx
Good luck

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