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We have been toilet training Hailey for the past month and she has the wee end of it sussed but my god the poos- I need help. she used to poo once or even twice a day when she was in nappys now that she is in big girl pants she is holding in her poos for 2-3 days. she seems very scared about the thought of doing a poo in the loo or potty. I really don’t know how to get her over it.
I have promised a present, jellys, a treat etc etc…..every bribe going of things she likes to make her go but Nope……she just runs off when she can no longer hold it in hides somewhere & goes in her pants.
I would appreciate ANY advice on this if any of you had the same problem with your toddler, Thanks ,from a mum who cant cope with scrubbing any more poo out of pants!!
We has this problem last year and I was at my wits end too so I can empathize fully….
After speaking with lots of mums and asking about it, it turns out that this is a regular occurrence with toddlers – they nail the peeing fairly quickly but are often terrified of doing the poo’s
To be honest, it took us a good while to get this sorted with our 3 year old last year. She did the pee no bother but no way would she do the poo. She did it in her pants a few times when she had to go and did not tell us in time to get her to the loo but mostly, she held it in and a few times we actually put a pull up on her just so she would do a poo because we were worried about her not going for a few days.
It just takes times and patience. Lots and lots of patience.
We found this really difficult and it is frustrating and creates a lot of work but it will click with her. It may just take a bit more time.
One thing you can do – and it sounds a bit mad but can help – is to hold some toilet tissue under her bum when she is about to do a poo. Our daughter seemed to be afraid of doing it on the toilet or potty, I think it was because there was no nappy anymore, so holding something at her bum gives a kind of security, a bit like a nappy but not a nappy.
I know this sounds mental but I did it a few times and it did help her go.
Sorry to not be more helpful – hopefully it clicks for her soon.
oh I feel your pain – my dd1 started holding her poos when she was still in nappies so was nothing to do with toilet training but dd2 did it aswell
both got the pee’s really quickly and were dry very quickly day and night but dear god – they’ve both screamed places down because they’ve held and held and held.
All I can say is plenty of fruit and fluid to try to keep her moving and keeps things soft enough. Let her come into bathroom when you’re doing it and let her see it’s ok. keep the re-assurance going etc but as Sabbi says at the end of the day it just takes timeWhen you’re in the middle of this, it can seem hopeless and like it will never be sorted but bear with it and in a few weeks this will all be a thing of the past.
patience, determination and more patience and you’ll get there 😀
Best of luck with it. I feel your pain. I really do!!! 😉
Callie did this aswell, i used to tell her it was better to get it out when sheneeds to first time cause the pain she was getting in her belly was from her poos, just explained that the quicker you get them out the better you’l feel and you might even be able to run better! Shes very competitive so loved this!!
Thanks ladies- nice to know im not on my own with this one!
She has at least 3 pieces of fruit a day & loads of water- she is basically going around crossing her legs & jigging about anything to avoid a poo!.
I really hope you are right Sabbi that in a few weeks this is a distant memory as for a poor friend of mine this went on for 7 long months Aghhh!
lil92- im going to try that on her today- thanks for the tip.
haileysmam – my dd2 still does the whole "I’m not going dance" and we just send her to the toilet and tell her she’s not doing x/y/z until she’s gone 🙄
BUT with Hailey – I’d suggest maybe having a book or something to do in the bathroom and when you see her do the "dance" insist she goes and at least sits on the toilet and do the activity/book you’ve left there – more often than not the action of sitting on the toilet can help the poos come.oh there’s a story too friend of mine got from her child nurse and gave it to me – it’s about how Mr Poo has come to visit but he needs your help to get back to see his family and friends – basically encouraging the child to send Mr Poo on his merry way down the loo – dd2 used to wave down the loo as it was flushing
god the things we do for our children 😆 😆 😆 – i’ll see if I can find the actual story but you get the gisthttp://www.ntw.nhs.uk/pic/leaflets/Poo% … ooland.pdf
this isn’t exactly the story we had but something similar – you know what it helped my dd1 – worth a shot 😉
oh munchin…..I am laughing my head off here at the idea of you waving goodbye to Mr. Poo as he flushes his way back his family.
That’s brilliant and just goes to show how we are all happy and willing to lose our minds when we become Mammies!!!
😆 😆 😆
ha ha sabbi glad I made you laugh – I swear when I got the story first -I was like ah here – but you know yourself it had got to the point you’ll give anything a go AND it did help dd2 – but I do remember thinking "dear god if anyone could hear me know" as we were saying "bye bye mr poo" 😆 😆
Had this problem with my son and it’s a while ago now so hazy on details of how long it lasted etc but he definitely just got over it himself without too much fuss or help from us. We persisted for a while trying to encourage him on toilet but it didn’t work, rewards, the tissue thing, all of that. I remember he used to wait till we would put his nappy on at night time and then he would go. It got to the stage where I would notice he would get really cranky all of a sudden during the day and I knew it was because he was uncomfortable trying to hold it in, and sure enough I would put a nappy on him and a minute later job done and he’d be back to being happy again 😀 So that’s what we did then, he would let us know he needed to go and we’d put the nappy on him for the few minutes. I’d try to get him to sit on the toilet with the nappy on and then when job was done we’d open the nappy and drop the contents into toilet, just to get him used to the whole process! Sorry TMI? Hilarious when I look back at it now. You’d need patience of a saint when toilet training and we are just starting it now with child number 2, oh the joys!
HELP 😥 …..ladies I have tried all the above and we are STILL having the poo problems, she just seems petrified of the whole thing and I have to say one of these days I think my patience is going to run out as we are 3 months into this now and I cant cope with scrubbing shit out of pants for much longer!.
Are there any other tips out there I can try?……………please help a broken mum & dad sort this out for once and for all
oh haileysmum i feel your pain – it did take me a long time to have dd1 sorted
really don’t know what else to suggest – she may well have had a hard movement which has frightened her – just patience reassurance and do all you can to keep movements softWe are having a few problems ourselves at the moment.
Our 3yr old was doing well until she got sick at the start of the year. We still put a pull up on her at night but when she got sick, she started having a few accidents and then, she was only doing poo at night time in her pull up. Now, she might go on the loo somedays but she will sometimes hold it in and will be dancing a jig and will be bursting by the time she admits she has to go.
Its all a bit of a mess at the minute, we seem to have regressed somewhat.
Now that she is better and back in playschool, hoping we can get back to normal again and get her back on track.
Getting them to do their poos can be so tricky. I thought we had it all sorted a few months ago……
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