pressure from priest….

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  • #14568
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    We have decided to get our daughter christened.i am C.O.I & my partner is a lapsed catholic.so we are gettting her christened as prodestant.the thing is I rang the reverend yesterday to discuss dates to get her christened & when he found out that we are not married he put major pressure on me & lectured me for a good 10 minutes about how we should really be married,I was in shock as I thought these days were well behind us as a lot of people dont get married anymore.

    We are very commited to eachother & plan to spend the rest of our lives together but I personally have never had the wish or desire to get married in fact the thought of it makes me get knots in my stomach as it would be my nightmare to have people all stareing at me & taking photos,i suppose I would feel very uncomfortable to be centre of attention like that.

    The thing is the reverend wants to meet us on friday to discuss the christening but I think he is going to bring up the marriage thing again as when he was talking about it on the phone & i said we are committed to eachother & we dont feel that getting married would make us more committed etc… he said "I can see I have my work cut out with you". I know he cant force us to get married but I could really do without the pressure,I get enough of it from my own parents!!

    Does anyone have any good things that i can say to him on this subject?
    Or have you come across this yourself?

    #122721
    Jedt
    Member

    Can you go to another priest? some priests are very set in their ways and think you should be married but thats not their business. Its your decision and he should respect that. he has no right to say ‘he has his work cut out with you’ – the cheek of him!

    my sister had her son christened and she and her partner were not married at the time and her partner is an athiest and the priest never grumbled once. It was important to my sister to have her son christened so her partner went along with it for her sake and the priest made no fuss. It was about the baby on the day, not the couple.

    If the priest brings it up, explain you have had a very difficult time since Hailey was born and you do not need any further pressure being put on you right now – at the moment you want to focus on getting Hailey christened and are not in the frame of mind for a discussion on marriage. if he persists, advise him that you may need to go to another church or ask for another priest and that you would rather avoid that.

    You’ve been through so much in the past few months, you really don’t need anyone pressuring you. explain it to him and hopefully he will respect that and let it go.

    best of luck, let us know how you get on.

    #122742
    Taylor5
    Member

    That is very strange as Reverand are more opened minded, i come from a mixed family and i always found the Church or Ireland side more open minded, human, understanding and compassionate.
    I wouldnt bow down to pressure and i wouldnt sit and get a lecture, i would recommend that you stop him in his tracks if he tries to go on a rant, be nice and direct about your feelings and how him giving you a lecture is making you feel

    #122748
    happymumblemum
    Participant

    Tell him to go feck..you have been through enough.
    Get another one.

    Job done x

    #122749
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks ladies for your support.

    The thing is I cant go to another church as this church is tied in to the primary school I want to get her into & number one on the criteria to get into the school is being in this church.It is the only prodestant school within miles of our place so I really have to stick with them.

    I really hope he doesnt go on a rant as I have a fear that I will just flip & tell him to mind his own fecking business!!

    #122773
    Taylor5
    Member

    My nephew went to Whitechurch NS, the minister was so nice when he found out we were Catholics. Be honest about how you feel and be straight with him, you should be fine

    #122792
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey,well the meeting went better than expected as he didnt mentioned the fact that we arent married once yippeee!.He did spend an hour with us & read through the whole baptism service so we know what to expect.

    we are going to plan for a date in August…..now I just have to try & lose weight so I can fit into a dress that fit me before I was pregnant!

    #122798
    Taylor5
    Member

    Ah im delighted it went well, i would have been surprised as Ministers are real family men and dont tend to judge like Catholic priests… Slimming world is getting rave reviews, my sister is after dropping nearly a stone in 2 months

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