Dilema with Montesorri

[Almae]

well the principle rang today and wants to meet with hubby and i to discuss and see if we can sort things out.

I am just at a loss as to what to do , I brought dd to a possible new montessori and she did not take to it at all ❓ , the lady who was there was lovely but when dd came out she said she did not want to go to that school , she would go to her other school if xxxx was not there 🙄 dd has problems with some speech and words and the lady today found it hard to understand her.
I just think we are going to make things alot worst for dd mentally if we move her, I know her trust and confidence is shattered since yesterday.

I am just at a loss. 😥

[Taylor5]

I dont know what you should do, but I will say one thing (dont kill me for speaking out of turn) or should I say ask one thing… are you giving you dd too much choice or too much opinions for a child so young?
I think you have a very very clever girl there and maybe she is listening to things you say, how could she say I’ll go to old playschoo if xxxx isnt there?

Try not say too much around her, she did say to her dad "you go sort her out" 😆 😆 😆
If your hearts not in it bring her back and see what they have to say, but wouldnt believe 100% what kids say.

I changed A from playschool no2 as I was fed up driving to and fro so I got one right beside the house where he is mixing with local kids. I was worried about my choice, but after 3 days I know I made a great choice…. I just told him this is your new playschool he only talks about his old teacher but nothing else…. he got new runners and said can I go over and show Lynsey my new shoes!? how cute is that

[missysmum]

Hi Almae,

what an awful situation.
you did the right thing in listening to and believing dd in the first place when she told you about the incident, i would be inclined to do the same again. if she told you that she doesn’t want to go to the new school and you try to send her, you could end up with a completely different struggle on your hands and you would both be unhappy anyway.

if it was me i would be inclined to go and see what the princpal says, and then decide. i’m sure you’ll know straight away whether they are genuinely interested in resolving the issue or just trying to save face. make sure to remind them of your dd’s special qualities and i’m sure they will be eager to resolve the issue and perhaps squirm a little, they should be ashamed of themselves.

with regard to xxxx, i’m sure if your dd does go back she would be wise to make sure it doesn’t happen again and be on her best behaviour.
places cannot afford to have a bad rep nowdays, there is too many to choose from and i’m sure she doesn’t want to find herself jobhunting.

ultimately, if your dd does go back, monitor the situation extremely closely and you’ll know if she ok. make sure to give her an opportunity to tell you if anything is bothering her and if she is happy there.

good luck.

[Taylor5]

Thats great advice well said missymum…. maybe even get a note book and write things down no matter how small you think. Ask you dd how she is getting on, but dont put words into her mouth iykwim.

Like ask did you have fun? was xxxx minding you today? Rather then did xxxx put her hand on you? dont leave it open for Oh yes mammy she did etc……

[Almae]

hi

thanks for all the advice.

I never prompt dd on anything , I always ask her howschool was , did u have fun etc ??

The other day she told me what happened when I asked her did she have fun in school.

When she started in this place even last year there was a 2 week period that she always cried when she seen the principles car there and when i asked her when she was getting upset she said xx gave out to her , i asked xx about this and both her and dd became close and are buddies.

This incident with xxxx i never prompted anything from her ever.
She said it her self today when we got into the car she said "mammy i dont like that school , can i go back to xx and xxxxxxxx but only if xxxx is not there" i never prompted her at all. I dont belive in that putting words in her mouth.

I am going to see what happens tomorrow we are going to do whats best for dd and not the montessori .

[Taylor5]

I find my dh does it, if he is asking ds something he will kinda put the idea or words into ds1 mouth

If she goes back to the old school how do you think she willl feel with xxxx still there, I know ds1 just doesnt take to some people, that was the case in his old playschool, he just didnt like the woman

[Almae]

The lay of the land has changed. The principle had not received our letter when she offered the meeting yesterday.

So she has said there will be no meetingand that she is giving our letter serious consideration. I guess the big guns are coming out.

So I will have to prepare.

[Almae]

dd started her new montessori yesterday and is loving it so so so much , its in the countryside and she doesnt know herself with all the cows etc in the fields beside her.
Long may it last 😉

[missysmum]

i’m so glad your dd is happy in a new play school. i’m sure its a weight off your mind.

good luck and i hope she settles in well.

[Taylor5]

I think in your heart you did the right thing delighted for you and her that you are now both happy…

A is in his new playschool only his second week, he had brought a MOUNTAIN of colouring home already plus they keep stuff for his file….. he is coming in singing new songs everyday!!! He loved his old playschool but I asked did L (his old teacher) not sing these songs, he said only sometimes but the new one they sing songs everyday…. he is like a new child and is soooo happy and loves going.
So I think in our hearts we know when we are doing the right thing…. speaking of playschool I better get ds2 out of his cot and collect ds1

[Almae]

well ladies , I am back at limbo. dd got in great the 1st week then last week and all this week she went thru what i can only describe as pure torture of me trying to get her to school . she screamed , kicked , cried unconsolebly(sp) and eventually made her self sick on all occassions due to her being in such a fuss.
I had talked with lengths with hubby and teacher and the teacher feels she is still traumatised from the incident in the other Place.
we just dont know what to do but we had to take her out 😳 mainly because it was too upsetting on her , us and we did not want the other children to get so upset.
No our dd has no where to go and i am dreading what the next few weeeks will be like. I was onto Enable Ireland today and they said her appointment with the pyscologist (sP) should be at the end of september , I am hoping he/she can shed some light on this.

mam and dad in despair 😥

[Taylor5]

Ah God I thought it was going well, what a pity. My heart goes out to you as I know how it feels to have an unhappy child in playschool.
Could she have just been having an off day, my ds will wake up some mornings and say mum Im tired can I have a lie-in, if I dont let him have an extra 10 mins he will be like a weed going to playschool.

Is there anything that coudl be a trigger, does the staff change or the class numbers etc…. had she seen both you and daddy, was dh working that day. If he was home could she have felt you two were home without her and she would be missing something, she is a very clever girl
Good luck with next week

[Almae]

hi taylor5

She was like this all last week and all this week. its a pure tizzy she is getting herself into. I spoke with lenghts with enable ireland and a friend who has very good knowledge with kids etc , she has a montessori Playmates in kentstown and I got alot of sound advice off her.
But I def think the montessori she was attending for the last 3 weeks is a no no as the numbers are high 20 kids were she was used to 7-8 kids max.
I am going to look at a possible sna for her if i can get one and if need be we will pay one direct to help her out. I swear to god It would make a grown man cry to see her in the mornings. I know u see kids time from time crying when being dropped off , but this is pure trembles , crying , vomiting , the shakes and wetting herself some times she even poo’d in her underwear.

😥 😥 🙄 😕

[Taylor5]

Ah that cant be easy on you (((hugs))) Im sure your heart is breaking, Kids are funny and very sensitive at times, my ds1 is in his 3rd playschool… first lasted 3 weeks she was a bitch to him, he got chicken pox after 2 days and I was carted into hospital for 10 days in early labour, loads going on in his life and he was very very bold for her and didnt want to be in a group, he was 3 and 2 months and just couldnt cope and the nasty bitch didnt help….
Playschool no2 was great with him much smaller in numbers 8 to 12, he liked it there but still played up and was often very very bold….. and started to wee his pants
Playschool no 3 (was so afraid to move him as he like no2) is BRILLIANT… he is so happy jumps out of bed in the mornings, gets himself dressed and runs to school. He bring home LOADS of work and is so happy in himself, he goes around singing songs and making up new songs… he rattles off his ABC’s and helping with the dinner and told me 5 and 2 carrots is 7…. cant believe how positive this move is, he is like a different child. So it goes to show if a child is in the right playschool for them they thrive and you see they are happy little souls.
Go with your heart and you know what is rightfor her, you could playschool her yourself and do play groups for her to mix…… we didnt do playschool

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