i feel trapped

i also am a single mother (im 26 and my son is 8)and by the time all my bills are paid id gauage that i live off about €100-€150 a week but thats not including petrol and food!!

I own my own home and my car, so it can be done.

I go out quite alot or else we sit in each others houses and have the wine and a chat, can u not do that with ur mates??

I also shop quite alot and have a huge obsession with shoes as alot of people on here know about hahaha

why is €100 not enough for you to live off?? What do you do with the €100???

Are you on the housing list?? have you gone to cluiad/respond re getting a house?? cos that is your first port of call if you are feeling trapped, no one can help you if you dont help yourself.

Also ill add first that if you cant handle your finances now while yuou live at home, then if you did get a house how would u manage them then???

Nicky,

Maybe you should go and talk to someone in your local citizens advice bureau to get some ideas aboutways to help you change your living situation?

There is help and support out therefor you, you just need to seek it out. I hope you can get some good advice to help you improve your situation and move forward, perhaps towards getting your own place.

Good luck and try not to feel too down, you are doing a tough job, bringing up a child alone, so you should give yourself some credit for that.

Best wishes.

fair play to you for not drinking!! i know things might feel bad now but there is always something better in store for you!
Me and my partner have not been out since january either so your not alone there. 🙂
grass is not always greener on the other side……. some people are really good at hinding there problems!
look are your child and think how lucky you are to have her. xx

i have a young girl she is 3 i am single parent living with my parents and i only one parent family all + child ben. i am only a young mum i am 22. i do my best for my child. i am leaving on 100 euro a week the rest goes to my mother for bills and stuff. i cannot go out a socialize with my friends even once a month i think it was january when i went out with them . i have not being on holiday since i was a kid. i just haven’t the money.
you see these parents going out every week them on social welfare having a house of there own and you think to your self how do hell do they do it.
now that the early child is gone in january and no christmas bonus i think i am not going to be able to manage.
sorry about the long vent life story 😕

It can be so hard when you live at home- I am in a similar place to you! I live with my husband, and son in a big room of my parents house. Last year we were buying a house, both earning good money and enjoying life to the full! But in the space of a few weeks everything went wrong and we moved in with my family. We applied for housing and should be moving in the next few weeks. I find it hard that my mom minds my brothers daughter, but not our son. She is always nagging at me that what I do is never right so I get really down over it.

What I want to say to you is that you need to decide what you want out of life. You need to make a list of where you want to be in 2 years time. Go to your local councillor, your community welfare officer, your local citizens advice bureau and your local council. The first thing is to get on a housing list, and keep ringing and checking to see if your name is moving up the list. Write to all your local councillors and get one of them to take on your case. I text my guy every week until we got a house! You need to stand on your own two feet, and realise that your mam still sees you as her baby and will never give you the opportunity to grow up (its a natural instinct – wait til your little one is this age and wanting to move out!).

You should save any jam jars that are empty and wash them and put a label on it – ie ESB, GAS, Tv license etc and put a few euro into each jar to help towards the bills – it is a handy way to budget.

You are not trapped – you are just stuck in a rut, and need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get informed and motivated.

Just remember – when it gets hard and you feel down – you still have your little girl and she needs you to be strong and you need to do everything for her!

Hope this helps! xx

hi nicky, just wanted to say that while i’m not in a situation like yours and cant offer you a way out, i can empathise with you and do feel for you in your current situation. this is a great place to a) just have a rant or B) look for advice or both, whichever you want. just because your looking for someone to listen to your problems doesnt mean that you are obliged to take their advice or act on it, unless or until you want to. i think some of the posters here have made a few good suggestions in terms of changing certain aspects of your life which you originally posted about. please please, contiunue to post when u need to vent, we all need to sometimes, and why not make a list of some of the suggestions or contacts mentioned for whenever you feel you want to take steps to make some changes.

hth

hi nicky,i really hope that things get better for you soon.you know when i was your age i also was a single parent but unlike you i was living on my own with no support from my childs dad or his family and my own family was getting on with their own lives.i found it very hard,i didnt know how to be a mother,i was barely more than a kid myself.it is very hard when you think you have nowhere to turn.hang in there.things will work themselves out,they always do.my son is now 23 and i would hate to see him being a parent at that age.i sometimes tell him how sorry i am that i was not the best mother in the world but he always says to me that i was the best and how would i know how to be a mother at that age.i loved him so much but i know he didnt get all the attention he should have got because my life was so messed up for a long time…..you will get through your rough time and it will make you stronger.never be afraid to ask for help or tell someone if your not coping well.you’ll be surprised at how many people care.