Hi there,
Your feelings at the moment are perfectly normal. It is totally understandable that you would be anxious after your recent loss.
I lost a baby after I had my son. I could not understand why this was happening to me. I had a healthy pregnancy first time around and a healthy baby at the end of it so to lose my second baby was awful.
Within 4 months I was pregnant again and I was a bundle of nerves. I felt like I was walking on egg shells. I went to my GP and explained how I was feeling and he arranged for me to go to the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital for a scan when I was 7 weeks gone. It was the most nerve wrecking experience of my life. I was terrified but within a few seconds I saw a little heartbeat on the screen and I felt enormously better.
Perhaps you can talk to your partner and explain how you feel or talk to a female relative or friend who is a good listener. It will help to just talk about it – honestly, your reaction is very reasonable and understandable and I’m sure they will understand.
After that, you can call your local hospital and book yourself in for an early pregnancy scan at around 7 weeks. At that stage a heartbeat will be present and that will go a long way to help easing your mind.
Hope this helps a bit, I really do know how you feel but hopefully things will work out this time.
Keep us posted and if you want to chat further, please do, there are lots of mums on here who have been in a similar situation to you and can offer some words of advice to you.
Good luck and try not to worry too much
x