to give up work or not??

[Taylor5]

Maybe take a holiday for a week or two a trial run, see how you go…. i cant say how you will feel, but you really dont have that much time to yourself….. you may get to think about your dd more, but maybe its time to sit back and ride the emotion of it, it might be good for you? But then it might not?

I know money is tight on one wage but l like the Mastercard advert…. x amount for this and x amount for that, but time spent at home with your child PRICELESS…….. as someone said whenyour 60 your wont look back wishing your spent more time in work!!!
Sure if you go MAD your in good company with the rest of us! 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

[happymumblemum]

Here here…you could do what I do and go out to work some evenings…time for yourself and getting paid 😀

Can be cold though down the docks 😆

Only joking , I enjoy my evenings at work and still get to do everything I want during the day

[Jedt]

scotsmum – ah you’re a typical woman like the rest of us, we can never make up our minds!! You gave me a giggle there when you said about sitting at home with her – there’s no fear of you sitting down during the day if you stay at home…being a stay at home mum is full on and full time. There is so much to do, babies & toddlers need to be entertained all the time, try taking 5 minutes ‘me time’ during the day when you are at home and see what happens (cue shampoo being spilled down the toilet, her eating money from your wallet and all sorts of mad mischief :lol:) speaking from experience unfortunately 🙄

Could you take a leave of absence from your job for a few months? that way you can give being at home a shot but also, you can go back if you want? Might be worth that conversation with work to see if its an option.

Its hard handing in your notice and its natural to feel nervous. take your time and see how you feel in a few days, there is no rush, you can take as long as you want to decide.

Good luck – I’ll be out power walking in the morning (which for me means rambling into the village and stopping off for a frothy cappuccino), if you’re about give me a buzz and we can have a natter!!

[Fabienne]

Scotsmum, I, like you have in common the loss of a new born baby.
I stayed at home when my second child arrived, because I had no work to go back to.
I did all the plays, santa’s visit and more.
The first mother’s day celebration in playschool I was there, it’s priceless. But also I was very very hard. It was emotional for all mums of course.
Kept thinking it should not be my first but second. Cried like I baby when came back home, instead of just been happy of the presents made in playschool for me by my daughter.
Do I wish I was in work and had an official excuse not to be there. NO.

I was as sad as I was happy.

I’m at home, have time to think about all my 3 kids (2 with me), it’s good to be sad sometimes. But it’s not all sadness, there is so much happiness.
And I keep thinking, the great great life I have.
2 marvoulous kids with me (still want to murder them sometimes 😆 ), free time when in school, playdates, friends to chat with. Enough money to get by.
Yes working would mean I’ll have more holidays, bigger house,( never cared for clothes),
My kids gets mainly second hand ones, really I hate going shopping for clothes. As well the money saved on clothes goes to kids activities.
but does it worth it me losing that great life? NO

Really don’t want to change it.

My mum worked really hard when I was a child, she basicly was working after school, nights and WE. So did not see her much.
When I turned 15 she stopped working, she had enough not seen us growing and my dad then had a decent job. I end up, me teenage girl with a new mum, so available and a stranger to me at the same time, it would have been easier if she had been with us before.
Now we’re getting along well.
She does regret those years, but had no choice then, it was the only way we had a roof over our heads and a bit of food.

It’s a though choice, but you spent the last year at home, and had time to think, be happy and sad, sure some dates, events can make you days tough. Staying or going back to work will not change your state of mind.
If you keep your mind busy at work, you’ll still get some difficult days.

You can do a test trial, go back to work and see if you like it, or if you miss your girl too much.
Or you can get some extra time off.

Wish you the best, difficult decision indeed.
I had no choice so it was easier, but never did regret it.

Fabienne, always available for chat, playdates and cups of tea!

[scole1]

i’m actually sitting cvrying here, yeah sad case i know must ne the hormes, but fabienne you last post made me cry…..

for all th reasons everyone has given, it’s a hard decision to make to work or not to work…..yes there are bills to be paid, there are things to be done, and amazing when you are working and before i became a mom i never wondered what it would be like to work as a mom…..

our life was different, we were like ships passing in the night, then ds1 arrived and i stayed at home, and our family life though he was working and i had no "my money" i found it hard to not have my own money, and a routine, but our family life changed we saw more of eachother and made more of an effort at weekends etc…

as the years have gone by i have my routine, and my daily jobs, i can never turn off the clock, or go for a drink after work (but an afternoon bailey"s coffee comes in handy once in a blue moon) lol…..my social scene has changed, my outlook on life and what i took for granted has changes, i think back on my own family life as a kid, and my mom was always there, she worked at home, doing jobs and then when we went to school did other jobs to keep her mind active and our bellies full….it’s a tough job, being a stay at home mom at times, but in a way very rewarding, those moments with your child, even though there are times you could scream, and just want a "sick day", but being there and knowing your child will haev you there is the best you can provide….

there are things that you cando also, find something for you to do, that gets you out, start a new venture that allows you to do while being at home….while i’ve been home i’ve acheived another level of education a total different direction than i had ever dreamed, i’m doign back up courses and of course learning from my home experiences to get me ready for when the day comes for when my kids are old enough for school (one gone another to go) so that i can get a job that will work around them not the other way round…

so enjoy your time and look to it as a positive adventure, one that you can never ever get back but can enjoy right here and right now….

there will come that day when your child grows and you’ll say where did all those years go? where was i? you’ll be able to say i was there and i remember…and she will also…..

best of luck

[scotsmum]

hi girls,

never mind stay at home moms u lot should be counsellors or sales women lol

taylor and sabbi, ur right about not having time to think, im home 4 days a week as it is and i cant even get to watch my jeremy kyle in peace lol unfortunately time out or a long holiday from work isnt possible just becoz the way we are funded, so i really need to decide…

happymumblemum, lol at the docks, dont think id earn enough to pay for the bus home in my post baby shape hahaha

fabienne, thanks for sharing your experiences, it made alot of sense to me and i think put my mind at ease about many things im worrying about…

scole1, jeez with sabbi getting me baking and u tempting me with baileys coffees i better join mumstown at labfitness lol! thanks also for sharing coz sounds like we alot alike!!

well im still not decided, but think i will eventually work up the courage and handf in my notice, the commute if nothing else is killing me! also looked into volunteering in drogheda, that way id still be out doing something… also got a call this evening from a women looking for part time outreach worker in drogheda which could be a sign??? so fingers crossed i get a shot at that coz then we’d all be happy!!

sabbi im in work tomorrow unfortunately, that frothy cappucino sounded yum!! will def do it another time tho

thanks again ladies…. where would we be without mumstown??!!!

[hjs]

A period of parental leave to experiment perhaps?

[Fabienne]

Scole did not mean to make you cry, I’m really happy, and like everyone I have bad days for the same reasons, the kids we love drive us mad 😆 or not enough ME time.

I met my mum when I was 15 and at that age you want nothing to do with your mum. We became close in my mid-twenties.
When she was not around, we (my sister and I) knew why, it was explained and undestood, but don’t change the fact.
I was happy then, we had a great life, spending all of our WE in a friend’ s house. We had many real friends helping my parents and giving us time and love. But was not closed to my mum. I never felt alone, but I had no more special relatioship with my parents that I had with our friends.
Yes, I’m a simple person, was happy then, happy now!

It hit me one day, when my mum was at a basketball game I was playing, and a girlmy mum was taking care of at her work (social worker in an institution), the girl was so so happy to see my mum, she left the game in the middle of it just to say hello and give her a hug. She was closer to my mum than me.
I was very independant, that situation did suit me.
But my mum has regrets. I don’t.

Long post, once again.

And yes we should banned Sabbi and scole form MT, now I want bailey’s as well 😆
No wonder no diet last with me, I spend too much time reading about meetings and coffee breaks and glass of wine.
Who at work chat about wine and bailey’s and fancy coffee, and then get it 😆

scotsmum, let us know.

Fabienne

[Taylor5]

Scotsmum that really does look like a sign…… i dont know flip a coin! Go to the church and say a prayer and ask for a sign 😆 😆 😆

[Author]

Posts