May 19, 2011 at 7:54 am #11952JedtMember
I wish celebs would consider the influence they have when they spout their mouthes off about childbirth. When they make negative comments, it can be upsetting for mums-to-be out there. This is an interesting piece to read and the author writes it very well but beware, you may want to punch Tilda Swinton afterwards….
The “truly murderous business” of childbirth should not be glamorised in film and on television, according to the actress Tilda Swinton, interviewed in Cannes while promoting her new film We Need to Talk about Kevin. Glossing over the grim reality can make mothers feel like failures, she says, and raises unrealistic expectations in mothers-to-be.
Oh, I love it when screen goddesses decide that mere mortals need a lesson in real life. Swinton must think we mothers are too dumb to know that it’s an actress faking her labour pains while managing not to smudge her mascara. Worse, however, is Swinton’s belief that the truth will not hurt a mum-in-waiting.
But it can. Scaring a woman who is soon to give birth will not help her much in the delivery room. “What’s the pain like?” I – stupidly – asked a straight-talking friend just ahead of having my first. “Take hold of you upper lip,” she instructed. “Then pull it up over your head.” Seriously frightened, I wrote one word on the birth plan: Epidural. After a long labour culminating in a traumatic forceps delivery, I didn’t need a sanitised birth drama on TV to feel like a total flop.
Telling an expectant woman what to expect carries great responsibility. Some women cannot resist reliving their own bad experience. “God, the birth was awful. I felt like I’d had a car crash, then been raped afterwards,” quipped one friend, striking yet more terror into me. Others like to show off: “Jonty was great. He just flew out while I was gardening…”
Following my own hideous experience, it was the natural childbirth graduates who really riled me. They had delivered at home without any pain relief, just a few sips of raspberry leaf while crunching arnica tablets and holding the hand of a trained birth partner. I wanted to kill them, and yet I decided they must have been doing something right. So baby number two was born on my bedroom floor; arnica, milk thistle poultices, the lot. I put it down to total trust in a very competent midwife.
The event exorcised a ghost, but I am not so stupid as to believe that this approach guarantees a wonderful experience. As any midwife or obstetrician will confirm, no two births are the same and outcomes are impossible to predict. Few women will be enlightened by cinéma-verité births starring the likes of Tilda Swinton – indeed such horror flicks could add to the growing number of women demanding elective Caesarean sections.
So on the long list of risky behaviours to be avoided in pregnancy, here is another one: stay away from drama queens.May 19, 2011 at 10:15 am #113283CaliGalMember
Before considering any advice, I always ask myself…"Consider the source"….
And in this case it will just go in one ear and out the other!May 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm #113523happymumblemumParticipant
I don’t really get that article to be honest?
Anyway every one has a different pain threshold , you know yourself how much pain you can stand..I know myself I have a very high pain threshold and knew that I wouldn’t go for an epidural unless any one was in danger.
Yeah it hurts but our bodies are designed for it, thats what I would tell any one..
Its not like we have to give birth in a cave any more..if it hurts take whatever they offer you, if it doesn’t bother you then don’t.
Every birth like every baby is different, my two pence worth ditch the "birth plan" and play it by ear then you won’t feel like a failure if it changes mid way through when you realise soft music and lavendar oil aren’t really helping your ripping vagina lol!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry couldn’t resist 😆 😆 😆 😆
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