March 5, 2017 at 6:53 pm #19319munstermollyMember
My Daughter’s friend who we have known since birth is turning into a very negative person and its really starting to bug me . They’re both 13 and started secondry school in September together . Now she was always one to say not nice things but now that they’re getting older its worse shes getting . Her mother is also very negative eith a nasty tongue at times so i can see where the daughter is getting it . Any thing i ask her is negative .. all her teachers are horrible my daughter says other wise , all their new friends she finds fault in eg . Dont like her hair, shoes are funny , coat isnt nice color , her voice annoys me etcetc etc . She lives a few doors down so they’re alwsys togther , im just starting to really dislike her and dont know how to deal with the frienship .March 6, 2017 at 9:14 am #137776JedtMember
Oh no, what a nightmare. That would do my head in as well.
I am not sure what you can do. Its a tricky one. I remember when I was a teenager I had a very negative friend and my parents couldn’t stand her. She was so miserable and I honestly don’t know why I was friends with her. It took me a few years to realise and we are no longer friends but looking back, I can understand why my parents were so annoyed that I was hanging around with her. They said it to me so many times but, typical teenager, I did not want to listen to them!!
Hopefully her negativity will not rub off on your daughter. Just stay positive for your daughter and hopefully, she will take after you and not her friend.April 6, 2017 at 4:56 pm #137949CA CoachingParticipant
Hi Munstermolly, this is a tough situation to be in. I would think the best thing you could do is to keep good lines of communication open with your daughter and check in re how she is feeling about the friend. It would be easy to bring up all the negative things her friend does but maybe approaching it from the opposite direction might help. Talk to you daughter about how you noticed that her friend seems quite unhappy. Ask if she is alright and is there anything you or your daughter might be able to do to cheer her up/make her feel better. This might not work, but you’re actually teaching your child to look out for her friends (whether you like them or not) and you are also showing her that you can see the negativity that is coming from her friend.
The reality is none of us know what is going on for other people around us. Maybe its a good thing that this child is actually talking about how she is feeling. It can be a really difficult transition from primary to post primary and different children react in different ways. Maybe this child is actually saying that she is struggling.
Obviously it’s not your job to look after other people’s children but by showing your daughter how to show compassion, in the face of negativity, is a really valuable life-long lesson for your own daughter.
Hope this helps.
AllenApril 6, 2017 at 5:59 pm #137951Daisy37Member
How are things mumstermolly? i am dreading teenagers
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