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can anybody tell me should i be checking my teenagers phone and msn stuff. she hasnt done anything to make me overly worried except that she keeps it very private and would get very mad if i check up on her. i understand that teenagers need to keep things from there parents and that its all part of growing up, am i wrong to want to check. i would love to hear from other parents of teenagers. my teenage girl is nearly 15.
my little ones are only 3 and 10months so not an issue for me just yet. my sister has a 14.5yr old and she does check his phone when she can – she has a really good relationship with him and believes he’d tell her quiet alot BUT no harm in checking is her opion.
yea my daughter is the same and we have a really great relationship she tell me everything that going on with her. (I think) i dont have any reason to doubt her but at the same time i dont want to be niaive. its great to get some feedback ya can tell i only have the 1 child.
thanks
The rule in our house with the 15 yr old. Is if your open with us and we are with you there shouldn’t be any secrets.
If you want to use Bebo/Facebook and/or mobile, we must have access so no passwords. The idea is the more open you are the less we have to keep a check on you. So far its working.
Just remember with Bebo/Facebook. The reckon the average user of those programs has 130 friends, each of those friends also has on average 130 friends, if you go into a group that could be quadrupled. Each of those has access to your page even if your on "private". There is NO private on the internet and if infinite numbers of people can view what my daughter is posting, I don’t see why I should be kept in the dark.
In saying that she can look at my phone/facebook anytime.
that sound exactly what i would like to do, the only thing is that i should have done it from the beginning, in your opinion do you think its to late to start now. thank you for your reply i do think i am justified in wanting to check its just how to go about it without her feeling like i dont trust her.
It shouldn’t be too late, I have friends who started monitoring internet activity last Autumn. I’m involved with her School and we had a wonderful woman speak to the Parents at a Public Meeting. She is a Secondary School Teacher who monitors Bebo and Facebook on behalf of her School (I think it was the Community School in Moate, but not sure Margaret was her first name) because of bullying problems using the internet that they have had affecting life in their school.
She laid out the facts very simply and thats where I got the "130 friends" quote from. The truth is nothing is private anymore. When you think about how quickly things get on the internet, the bus/luas crash in dublin was on Utube before the Ambulances got there.
Another thing I learned that night Facebook and Bebo hold a record of all conversations and if there is a need you can trace things. MSN doesn’t. So your kids can be bullied on MSN and you will never have proof!
Photo’s of your kids can be on facebook without them holding an account, they just have to be at an event and photographed.
If you have a good relationship with her, sit her down. Tell her the facts, remind her that although 95% of people she talks to or sees her conversations/pictures are genuine she has to be protected from the other 5%. Let her know its not her you don’t trust its them!
thank you everyone for your great advice. i think i will sit down and talk with her again later and i will let you know how i get on. its not that i didnt no the pitfalls of allowing her to have access to msn/bebo or even her phone, i think my problem is my own fear, as i said she hasnt giveing me any reason to worry about her. am i being overly protective??????.
I dont think your being over protective. I think your just concerned and you want to make sure your daughter is safe and not being bullied etc. Basically your being a parent, we all have concerns and fears regarding our children
had a great chat with her and we now have all her passwords for msn /bebo and phone. although she wasnt happy about it she did understand why we had our concerns. [upstaires slamming doors as we speak…god i miss the terable twos]. thanks everybody for your help and support altough i feel bad i no i have done the right thing.
Glad things went well(ish). I m sure she will realise your only looking out for her when she calms down a bit.
Dont tell me teenage yrs are worse than the terrible twos 😆
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