Stress, how do you reduce it?

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  • #15794
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi there,

    I’ve been feeling stressed lately & have a constant knot in my stomach. I wake up with it in the morning & cant seem to relax fully at all.
    My stomach has shrunk as i cant eat much & my sleep is not relaxing. Im worried that im heaidng down a slippery slope.

    I cant do much about whats causing the stress, what will be will be, but i need to stop letting it get to me so much.

    Anyone any suggestions?

    what do you do to eliminate stress?

    Just want to feel normal again.

    #127209
    Jedt
    Member

    So sorry you are feeling like this, its terrible to be stressed and worried like that. I remember when I was made redundant and had a miscarriage within a week of each other I was a bundle of stress. I felt like a walking timebomb, I was so wound up and worried and upset.

    I found talking to someone helped me – I went to see a counsellor at the hospital where I had my miscarriage and that was a great help. I got to off load all the worries I had to her and she helped me make sense of my feelings.

    I also wrote a diary each night. It is a great way to vent anger, frustration and sadness. The important thing about the diary is to end it on a positive note each time. So no matter how hard your day was, try to think of something nice that happened and let that be the last thing you write. I found my son was a great source of inspiration for that part of my diary and I would nod off to sleep thinking of him.

    For me nowadays, the number one way I de-stress, is exercise. I find a long walk, or run or class or even doing a DVD at home, really helps me unwind. Something that works up a sweat and gets your heart rate going is a fantastic way to clear you head. There are direct links between reduction in depression and exercise. It has been proven repeatedly that exercise helps clear your head and makes you think a little better.

    Feel better soon and if you need to, please speak to your GP, you may need some medication to get you over the hump of this bad time you are going through. There is no shame in asking for help, it is there for reasons exactly like this.

    Hope some of that helps, take good care of yourself and try to eat well, lots of salads and soups and healthy dinners will help too.

    #127225
    Financial Companion
    Participant

    Mary, on top of the things Sabbi mentioned, I think you’ve done one big step in recognising that there may be things causing the stress that are outside of your control. Focussing a bit on this can be very helpful. I often equate it to people shouting at the tv during the grand national….they will have no impact on the outcome! Whenever you feel yourself drifting towards stress levels elevating, the old "glass half full or half empty" can actually help. By that I mean think of all the things that are positive in your life. I know I stopped taking things for granted a long time ago and with the icy cold winds and snow yesterday took a moment to appreciate having a warm place to sleep etc. Don’t let the things outside your control dominate your thoughts, give them the attention that is required in the present moment and then compartmentalise them in your mind. They’ll still be there if you needto go back to them but all the positive things can be with you all the time 😉

    #127226
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Mary,Sorry to read that you are feeling that bad at the moment,but just know that we have all been there & it will pass.

    Things that help me are long walks with my dog on the beach with the waves crashing against the rocks,puts things in perspective for me.

    Also a long hot soak in the bath with candles & relaxing music.

    Talking is a big one aswell,as the saying goes a problem shared is a problem halved.Could you talk things over with your partner,family or friends?….or would it help you to vent whatevers bothering you on here?…or maybe its something too personal that you dont want us mumstowners to know….you could look into counselling,sometimes speaking to a complete stranger with professional qualifications can help.

    Remember we are all here for you if you want to talk,all of us have gone through rough times & may be able to offer advice if we have been through something similar.Take care of yourself xx

    #127232
    siobhang73
    Participant

    Mary,

    Please have a look at this link http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/News/new … tress.html

    I’ve just completed this course and it was extremely helpful. The organisers said they will be running it again in the area so it might be worth a phonecall.

    Some of their top tips for reducing stress are…

    Exercise is a big help, breathing techniques – breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 and exhale for 8 seconds (do this 3 times in a row), recognising that everyone experiences stress but people handle it in different ways. Talk to yourself in a positive way and soothe all your senses – invest in some soothing natural scents for the home and your car, play soothing music, massage, stretching and avoid "bad mood" foods like sugary high fat snacks. Big thing is to cut down on alcohol. It might relax you in the short term but is more harmful long term.

    There is a mindfulness course running in The Barbican in Drogheda on Wed mornings which you could find useful http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/News/new … tress.html – it’s about living in the here and now, not worrying about what has passed or hasn’t happened yet. I think they did run one on Tuesd evenings as well which I think was free. Also free 4 week courses happening at St Colmcilles GAA club in Piltown on Tues mornings.

    There are a lot of resources out there Mary and it is possible to get a handle on it. The first step is realising you need a bit of help and you are there already so well done!

    #127234
    Jedt
    Member

    Great information guys, its really good to see so many practical and positive responses to this topic. Stress is a terrible things when you are feeling ill from it. Hopefully some of this will help.

    I am going to a 30 min exercise class at 6.25pm tomorrow night Marye and if you fancy it, you are most welcome to join me. it will certainly take your mind off things, even if just for a little while.

    sending you a big virtual hug. x

    #127236
    Taylor5
    Member

    MaryE i did notice when i seen you how much weight you had lost! There is none of you there anymore.

    You know what is causing the stress, but not much can be done for now to remove that suitation.

    I Would be a vent and get it out of my system person, I dont stress over things "anymore", i did a few years ago when i had PND. I do think Stress and Depression feed off each other. Maybe a visit to your GP, he could give you something to sleep, he could also make a record of how the suitation is affecting your health and the stress its causing you.

    I find getting out walking, going for a swim or like what we are going to do tonight Boxercise or a good session in the bedroom (my husbands cure for destressing) 🙄 😆 😆 is a great way of venting anger and pent up stresses. Stess is a horrible thing as it can cause so many other illnesses if its left. Enjoy Destressing 😉 😉 😉

    PS Rescue remedy is great, a few drops in your water bottle

    #127244
    MaryE
    Member

    Thanks for all the replies.

    The courses sound good but will need to find one in the evening as working full time. Have sent the Barbican centre an email for details.

    I have loads of oils so must get some of them out & start burning them again. And start taking rescue remedy – i have it at home too. Going to try to remember to do the breathing excercises too. Its mad now you forget all the things that you already know once you get stressed.

    Im not a huge fan of gps or medicine so try to avoid them but if i have to go, i have to go. Always feel like they are a waste of money.

    Going to look into to talking to someone, i think. My dh & family try to help, they tell me to be grateful for what i have, not to let it get in on me, chin up etc & i know that they mean well but they make me feel even worse because then i feel guilty for feeling bad – if that makes sense.

    Feel like i never even got a chance to grieve my miscarriage before all this trouble started in work & with other stupid little things going on, its all gotten n top of me. Even when im not thinking about it, ive got the knot in my stomach.

    Sabbi, thanks for invite tomorrow night but have to pick up my car tomorrow night & return hire car – it failed NCT so needs serious repairs.

    Will get back to excercise but really dont have the energy for it this week anyway.

    #127252
    siobhang73
    Participant

    Counting your blessings is a useful exercise Mary, but the big thing is finding the time to yourself to think about them! With family and a full time job you must really struggle with that one but it might be time to be a bit more selfish and give yourself some space. Ask for help wherever you can – call in all the favours you can.

    You will have to really push yourself on the exercise thing but getting out there and "Just Doing It" is the only way. Do we ever regret going for that walk? Say "I wish I hadn’t bothered" after a good workout? No, we always feel the better for it even if it is a struggle getting out there!

    I hope I don’t sound preachy Mary and wish you the best of luck with putting yourself first for a change xx

    #127287
    Taylor5
    Member

    Well said…. when you’re feeling down and someone tells you to go for a walk you will feel better, the first thing you want to do is scream at them. But after you do have your walk you feel so much better

    #127296
    Jedt
    Member

    Missed you this morning taylor at Willpower & Grace class – it was a bit easier this week! I may be able to walk tomorrow…unlike last weekend 😆

    MaryE, I am going to a 30 min class Monday if you feel like coming along. its at 10am and is not too bad, its a good way to start the week!

    Hope you have a nice weekend and get to chill out and relax.

    Rescue remedy night is great too – helps aid sleep.

    #127298
    Taylor5
    Member

    Ah Sabbi i had my hubby home from work today, so i didnt need the gym this morning 😉 😆 😆 😆

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