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This made me stop and think today I had a good chat with a stay at home dad I met at a playground today. He started chatting away as our two kIds started interacting with one another anyway he started small talking joking about and his wife arrived very nice a little more shy thàn her dh but we had a good little chat she had mentioned that she was working and her dh was looking after their son
She said her dh found it hard to go to groups but keeps gping for the sake of the child needing to interact with children
He had said that he had no problem going to meeting or coffee mornings he’s happy to interact but finds that mums are very clicky and also shy away from conversation with him he knows that there must be more dads taking on the stay at home roles and wondered why women who are all set for these type of groups for socialising for their children and eachother why would they not encourage a father etc to take part and not feel isolated and alone in these tough times they too are there for the child and time away from the house
It got me thinking about how actually interactive people can be when they go to coffee mornings
I have experienced first hand the clicky groups
The feeling of being an outsider and feeling sick with nerves having to go and talk to someone I don’t know it’s not a pleasant feeling
I’ve observed this and seen people sit lonely looking lost and it’s sad to think that we as a whole don’t look outside the circle in order to welcome others
So I ask remember how u felt on that first coffee morning put yourself in that moment and then welcome new people to the morning even if it is a father and his child he’s taken a big step to do that
Its hard stop and think sometimes it requires energy and putting yourself out there for some it comes naturally for others not so naturally it takes time
Today I felt for this dad he wanted to be able to have a conversation with an adult at something without having to try squeeze his way into a conversation about giving birth breast feeding or kids
Is that what us women talk about lol
But I also saw his wife a mother who wanted to be at home with her child but needs must she had to work she also wanted to support
her dh in looking after their child and make the fact that he was at hone easier.
There is so much going on with everyone just taking one moment to stop and chat to a stranger or welcome someone to a group could mean a loti have a neighbour who is at home with his dd, he is a lovely chap and i feel so sorry for him somethings, he is a brilliant dad and always out walking/playing with his little girl.
idid ask him in for coffee once or twice, but i didnt ask again i was afraid he would think i was hitting on him 😆 😆 😆 I know there was a guy that used to go to the Dublin Road playgroup, he was so nice and lovely to chat to. Its becoming more common now daysI think it’s great that dads even go to toddler or baby mornings that are mainly women attending
I think it should be encouraged yeah I know at first people think what will I say but also I think what he was trying to say was that people aren’t welcoming to a man when they make an effort
I have to say I do try well did try when I did go to mornings chat to the dads there was a few dads at different groups I went to and it was actually nice to have a different conversation about other stuff with them
One place I went to the dad said he’d been going for a few weeks and not one person had made the effort to talk to him
I also encountered this with a foreign mom nobody spoke to her that made me sad
Fair play to u for acknowledging him Taylor we all know what it’s like to be at home with kids and just that friendly conversation can go a long way
I suppose the question I am asking is do we women live in our own bubble and only chat to mums or those we know
Or are we moms not used to just yet a man being the main caregiver do we still find that strange? Or do we think if we start talking to him will he think I’m hitting on him?
I’ve sat and had coffee with my sons friends dad as hes a stay at home dad well before I even met the mother it’s gas we get on quite well and it’s weird role reversal as its usually the mom u know more than the father as he’d be the one out working Do we need to stop and think and remember times have changed people’s circumstances have changed and be a little more open and welcomingThere were 5 dads at the Mumstown get together in Bagel Bar last month. I think men are not as comfortable at interacting as women but I have noticed that the men get into conversations at the play area. I often see Dads chatting there, with other Dads or with mums.
There are a few ‘regular’ dads at that monthly event now – would be great to see a few more coming along.
Anyone who knows a stay at home dad or dad who works part time and has time with kids for get together, please let them know the next one is on Tuesday 6th March in Bagel Bar Drogheda and Thursday 1st March in Bagel Bar Dundalk.
Dads are most welcome – if enough come along we can get a Dads table going!!
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