Single Parent: Help

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    Hi, I’m 21 and currently living in my own house with my DD who is 9 months old. :D
    I was just wondering do Fathers have access rights automatically or do they have to applt to court to get them?
    Myself and my mam where just having a convo about it and we weren’t sure and all the info i’m getting on the internet is confusing! :oops:

    My DDs father is not very considerate and at the moment only sees My DD 1 hour a week in my house when im not here but my mam is. I was just wondering how long i can get away with that for?
    As he does ask for more and i used to say yes. But he refuses to follow her routine and she gets incredibly cranky when she comes home. He doesnt let her sleep during the day and has given her chocolate on occasion :shock:
    I would appreciate a response.
    Many thanks,
    SuzieQ :D :D


    Hi SuzieQ,

    Unmarried fathers have no automatic rights regarding access in this country. He would have to apply to court or ask you to sign a form to entitle him to guardianship rights. I understand how frustrating it can be as I have been through this situation with my eldest son.

    Could you have a chat with him regarding how important your dd’s routine is and see if you can come to some agreement were he takes her for a few hrs once a week so you get some time to yourself.



    Hi Maria,
    thanks for your reply.
    Unfortunetly i have tried that but he refuses to speak with me. I’ve let him know that he can begin to take her again as soon as he speaks to me about it. However, he just refuses and gets very nasty toward me.
    He has seen my DD twice in the last month for an hour a time and both times my DD has made strange with him and has spent the time crying.
    Thankfully, I do get time to myself as my DD is the first grandchild in my family and my mam is a great help to me. She takes her overnight once a week and alot during the week. Dont know what i would do without her help and support.


    Hi SuzieQ,

    It sounds like you have done everything you can with your ex and the ball is in his court regarding whether he is going to step up to the mark and be a dad to your little girl.

    From the sounds of things I dont think he would go to court to get guardianship or access. Maybe you could keep a diary of when he does take her etc just so you have it.

    I think we would all be lost without our Mams. They are great. Its good to know that your Mam is such a great help.



    I dont think its him I have to worry about! Its his mam, she never liked me very much and uses every opportunity she sees me to attack me over something that is none of her concern!
    She has already threatened to bring me to court. But i honestly believe I have given him every opportunity to see his DD who still makes strange with him! And for some reason i’m feeling really bad about it!!
    However, I have often said to him you can come and see DD in my house etc etc and he says no! So not alot i can do! Its just frustrating.

    Already have started a diary of all our contact and when he sees DD as he can be verbally abusive to me lately and was told to keep record!


    Thats a terrible suitation to be in, you should be enjoying your time with your dd not stressing over visits
    i can understand why he wont let her nap, if he only sees her for such a short time, im sure he wants her awake and not sleeping iykwim. Babies can be very flexible with routines
    What is it with mil’s? Good luck, looks like your going to need it. Same thing happened a friend of mine, her ex was never happy and did upset the babies routine to get at her… she ended up stopping him seeing the baby and said take me to court if you want to see him…. well 16 years laterhe hasnt seen or sent as much as an xmas card and mammy and son much happier for it.



    just reading your posts, if you need confidential and free advise the Drogheda Womens refuge are great, they offer a helpline no.9844998 u can also arrange to go and have a support visit, they will advise you on best course of action with regards to visits and legalities etc, dont be shy they have heard it all before, hope this helps


    Taylor5: he was seeing DD 15 hours a week as well as taking her over night so it wasnt just a short time! I know routines are flexible but my DD gets extremely cranky and will cry for hours straight if she doesnt get at least an hour nap during the day!
    Not sure what mil’s are? 😳
    But yes i would love to stop him seeing my DD cos she is alot happier lately and has made strange with him the last two times shes seen him! He hasnt really bothered trying to see her anymore than the 2 hours in the last month i offered! in fact hes turned it down 3 times!!
    thanks for your well wishes though!
    Izzy: Thanks for your help i think i’ll give them a ring during the week!
    thank you.
    SuzieQ xx

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