Silent miscarriage

[Leanne]

Hi, this is my first time posting on any forum but I cannot seem to find the answer to my question anywhere else.

I have experienced 3 early miscarriages, and in September of this year, a silent miscarriage. A new fresh hell. The first 3 losses were typical cramps and bleeds. The last, I was on progesterone and had pregnancy symptoms right up until my d&c. We had a heartbeat at 6 wk scan, 8 wk scan, and sadly at the 10 wk scan, we were told the heart had stopped at 8,4. A d&c was recommended so tissue could be retrieved and tested to hopefully give answers as to why this pregnancy did not survive.

The timeline is excruciatingly long and we are not back in the recurrent miscarriage clinic at holles st until end of January 2020.

My question is, will we find out the sex of the baby? I know this probably won’t help. With a list of dates for miscarriages, due dates with no babies, and birthdays not celebrated, I think I will find comfort in knowing if the little heart that beat with mine for a few short weeks, was our son or daughter.

If anyone has been through this and would like to share with me, I’d be grateful. I would like to prepare myself if I am NOT going to find this out at the clinic. Also, I am sorry for your losses as I know you will only be reading this post if you have been down this hell hole.

L

[Sabbi]

Oh Leanne,

I am so very sorry for your losses. It’s awful not knowing if they were girls or boys; I don’t know if they can tell you or not.

We went through 2 miscarriages ourselves and they were heartbreaking experiences for us. We lost first one through complete miscarriage at 12.5 weeks. We had seen a heartbeat but the baby was very small and they were unable to tell us the gender. Our 2nd miscarriage was at 10 weeks and was via D&C. Again, horrible and again, we could not find out why or the gender.

They would not investigate our losses because we had 2 and they told us we had to lose 3 before they would investigate why.

In your case, they should do a full investigation for you and find out why this is happening.

Have the hospital offered you any counselling? I found this helpful.

The miscarriage association has a section on their website at miscarriage.ie where you can write a message to your babies to honour their memory. It’s a small thing but we found it helpful because it meant we could remember our babies.

I hope you get some answers soon and that the doctors can help determine what is happening and to find a way to help you.

Sending you a big hug. Hope this year will be better for you.

Please let us know how you get on. X

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