Should kids be brought to Mass or not??

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  • #14165
    Jedt
    Member

    This morning I had my 4 children at Mass. My son is making his Communion in May and we are making an effort to go for him. (Honestly, I am not too keen on some of the sermons and the whole concept but we are letting our children decide if they want to make Communion etc and if they say yes, we are supporting them)

    Anyway, my husband was playing football (yep, he timed it well) and I went on my own with our 4 children. My 8 year old was good as gold and the baby was in my lap being quiet but my 4 &6 year olds were bored, especially the 4 year old who was standing up and sitting down and moving around in her seat. She was not being loud or particularly disruptive but she was being active and anyone near us would be aware she was mooching about.

    There were some women behind us and they were most annoyed at my children, especially when the 4 and 6 year olds stood up to see the choir singing. there was a lot of ‘tut tut’ noises coming from behind me and I was so stressed, shushing the children and trying my best to keep them totally quiet.

    So here is my question – should I bring them or not?

    I had to bring them today because I had no one to mind them and there is a little room at the back of the church for children and they had been in there for a while but got bored and came to sit with my son and me and baby. What could I do, should I have left with them or should people be a bit more tolerant?

    I actually spoke with the priest on the way out and he laughed and said my children are ‘high spirited but lovely’ so if he was not annoyed, should anyone else be?

    #121334
    lellykelly
    Member

    At the 10am mass in Laytown church, children of school going age are brought to the room at the back where they do activity sheets linked to the gospel of the day & they are brought back out before communion. Our daughter always enjoys that, its very hard to keep them quiet for so long.

    #121336
    chewieodie
    Member

    The issue with a lot of the local churches, is the lack of a "cry chapel"…
    That would be the best scenario, for both parents and those without kids… so that those who wish to worship in the quiet of the church do so, and those that have kids aren’t under the same kind of pressure when feeling that their kids should be "behaving". We don’t have that locally though.

    However, I think its a personal choice…. I think that kids should be brought to Mass, as it is showing the kids the example of the whole family together….
    Being in a situation with 4 kids on your own in Church… now that is brave, and realistically kids do get bored, and do get restless… and quite frankly anyone that has a problem with kids in church really needs to get with the programme…. what of the "Suffer little children that come unto me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven"? Kids have as much right to be there as the parents.

    I also try to teach my kids that when we go to Gods House on a Sunday, we are to be on our best behaviour as being good makes "Jesus happy"…. and when they are good we reward them with special magnets on their reward chart for being good in Church. They then feel like they’ve achieved something, and slowly but surely they get to understand that the church is somewhere to be respectful…. and it seems to be working.

    But 4 kids on my own in Church?…. nah… don’t think I’d have the patience for that one…. I can imagine you being stressed.

    #121339
    Taylor5
    Member

    Was the person an older person?
    My mam loves to see kids in church, maybe its because i dont bring mine 😳 but her friend does that tutting and huffing, mam would be telling us the child was only messing a bit yet her friend would really embarrass the parents with the tutting!! Bring them…. if they arent happy they can move! They arent being very christian, everyone is welcome in the Lords house

    #121346
    Jedt
    Member

    Thats the thing taylor – arent we supposed to be tolerant and loving and understanding??? my 4 year old was being a bit like a jitterbug but she was not being very loud or disruptive.

    I usually just go with my son on his own but because did not have anyone to watch the kids yesterday we all ended up going.

    It was sooooo stressful. I felt like I was really upsetting the women behind me. I was nearly sweating by the time we were finished.

    I think I’ll leave the kids at home now on the actual communion day, its just too stressful!

    #121347
    munchin
    Participant

    I’d bring them and i wouldn’t leave them out of your sons communion day.

    I started bringing my 5yr old most weeks now that she’s in school and once she got used to it and behaves i started bringing the 2yr old – most of the time they are good but they do get bored – our priset literally does the mass in half hour MAX!
    There is a "crying" room but i don’t use it becuase i find that the kids in there don’t make an effort to stay quiet and it encuorages my pair to mess about they actually behave much better in the main church.
    i’d ignore someone tutting (cheek of them), emphasis the "peace" be with you when shaking hands! 😉

    #121427
    Yvonne
    Member

    I know where you are coming from Sabbi.. and I have only two kiddies!

    DD is for communion in May and I have brought her a couple of times, but my DS, I won’t bring as there is not a hope of him staying quiet for that long.. our church is a lovely small church, so there is nowhere to hide at the back.. nearly everyone that goes are older and they have their own seats as such!

    But now DH is back shooting I can’t go on a Sunday morning.. I would be so stressed with DS and worrying about everyone and it isn’t worth that.
    I know I could bring her to another mass but I do prefer our local church..
    I do feel bad not bringing her though.

    #121428
    munchin
    Participant

    Yvonne i know what you mean about being stressed on your own with the kids i think i must have sweat buckets the first time i took the 2 of them on my own – but they’ gotten used to it and i try not to sit too far up so if they act up i can just leave…….and even that would have me mortified, but we’re entitled to bring our children to mass and it’s wrong that we’re made to feel so uncomfortable for bringing them…

    #121434
    Yvonne
    Member

    It is wrong that we are made uncomfortable… but I thinks its us that make it worse as we are worrying that others are not happy, we could be wrong!

    Walshestown Church is so small, you are seen at all angles!!

    #121560
    Maria30
    Member

    I know I m coming to this late but I just want to say fair play to you Sabbi for bringing 4 kids to mass by yourself.

    I have yet to meet a priest who wasnt happy to see children at mass. The only people I have seen unhappy about it are older people who think children should be seen and not heard.

    We try to go every week and ds2 can be restless but hes getting better. People have to remember that if the church is to survive then kids need to be brought to mass and the parents and children need to feel comfortable being there otherwise they wont come back.

    My advice is to ignore the tutters maybe say a pray that God will grant them patience and understanding

    #121503
    mammycool
    Participant

    Oh, I so know where you are coming from on this one. I totally stopped going to mass with my kids. They start out really good but then get restless – start going under the seats and trying to walk about. Everyone starts looking at you and it is so embarrassing and therefore stressful.

    Last time I went, ds got down on the floor – just lay down looking at what was stuck on the underside of the seats. Anyhow, old biddy in the seat behind immediatly took up her handbag – as if a four year old was going about robbing handbags. I was totally disgusted with her. She also gave lots of tuts, etc.

    My dh works a lot of weekends – so it really is a case of me bringing them. I feel guilty for not going but so very stressed when I do go. I know it is just a case of keep going until they get used to it. Ignore all the old biddies – the cheek of them! You would swear that they were never young themselves.

    #121569
    libby1
    Participant

    The Augustine Church do a family mass every second sunday at 12noon and all the chldren are involved..
    They have the family vigil mass at 6pm tomorrow evening…

    #121605
    munchin
    Participant

    i totally agree with Maria30 kids are the future of the church and have every right to be there. have to say our priest is lovely and seems to be delighted to see the kids at mass. I love our christmas mass as he really gets the children involved – brings them all up on the altar and goes around with the microphone asking what santa brought – thought my dd was never getting off the microphone last yr 😉

    I took mine last sunday and ushers where trying to fill the pews because it was pretty busy being easter – i ended up sitting 2/3rds of way up the church which i never do but the kids could see alot better and where actually very well behaved………..when the bell was rung over the offerings dd2 as only an almost 3yr old can do – sings "it’s time to go hooooomeeeeeeee" but hey what can you do except giggle and explain "no not just yet – say your prayers!"

    #121612
    misemammy3
    Member

    my daughter is making her communion in may and like most of you started taking her to mass in prep for her big day.

    i waited until my son (now 5) was well settled in school before i started taking him to mass with us as i was of the feeling that if he could sit for 5 hours in class then he could manage 45 mins in church. and i have to say he is brilliant.

    so i am hoping that my 3 year old will be the same when he goes to school and then i can comfortably bring them all with me.

    🙂

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