Separation Anxiety- any tips?

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  • #9559
    hjs
    Member

    Have avoided this long enough but as it is now less than a month til dd leaves me for the guts of 6 weeks, have to be proactive about managing it.

    She is 6yo and is off to Singapore – Australia – NZ – HK – homewith her Granny. Of course she can’t wait and is a fab opp for her as me, her dad and bro won’t be making that kind of a trip anytime soon. But I have to confess, i am wondering how to manage separation anxiety from such a distance.

    And I am largely talking about ME!!! Think she will be ok, will have a few wobbly moments of missing us am sure but there will be so much going on for her, will be made such a fuss of by extended family whilst there that I don’t think she’ll really have too much time to be homesick.

    On the other hand, i will miss her DREADFULLY. Have skype accounts set up for us, am sending her with webcam to access it wherever she goes, any other bright ideas of how to fill in the gap? All advice gratefully received…

    #101648
    Jedt
    Keymaster

    Get yourself a hobby or part time job or start a project….something to keep you busy. Paint the house, re-do her bedroom, get a few hours work (Brown Thomas are hiring), do your garden, do some volunteer work (Childline are looking for volunteers) or do some articles or even start a book (you are well capable of that, you’re a great writer!)

    Knowing you – you are not one for standing still so try to come up with something you want to get done while she is gone and then when you have done it, you’ll feel good and have a sense of achievement.

    If you’re bored anytime, come to my house and give us a hand with the housework…..I’ll even throw in a cuppa!!! 😆 😆

    #101658
    Moonflower
    Member

    go on your own spiritual journey…buy some spiritual books….attend some workshops…meditate..all things we can never allow ourselves to do when busy with family lives….sounds mad but when i go on hols i miss my dogs dreadfully as they are like my children too…& always send them virtual hugs as i go to sleep & take time out in day to send them energy & love from afar..i know they get them 🙂

    write a journal to your little one as if you are talking to her each day…special thoughts that come to mind..may not be for her but more for u but it will help you feel closer to her.

    #101661
    scole1
    Member

    love the idea of that moonflower, take time out and write her a diary of what you did etc when she was gone….to give to her when she is older…what about a scrapbook course, and get her to get as much things from her travels to bring back so then you can include them into your diary…giver her a diary too to write her feelings and trip then together when she comes back do a scrapbook and diary together…

    write a letter for her for each week she’s away with a challenge for her to do and visa versa, but you have to seal them up and give them in a bundle with the date marked on it and time, then you both can open them at the same time even those many miles apart and accept your challenges for each of you..then you are still together sharing something….could be simple task for her to collect something or do something and she has to think of something for you, BUT it has to be a secrect and only one revealed each week….could be like a photo evidence that you both did the task etc….

    there is also a lovely story the kissing hand, i know it’s for kids starting school and missing their mommy (racoon missing his mommy) the mommy kisses the child’s hand and the child always has mommy close, then at one point the racoon(child) also kisses the mommy’s hand so that the mommy too has the child close by….so you could do that and or a little matching bracelet for each of you….hth

    #101711
    happymumblemum
    Participant

    I would be waving flags if dd was to leave me in 6 weeks peace.. 😆

    Can’t get much better idea than Skype really..I use it all the time..

    Sure u have another one to keep u busy 😆 see it as a nice time to spend undivided with j..maybe do a few days outs here and there.

    Make sure H has a decent digital camera to take with her too plus loads of memory cards..

    #101743
    Taylor5
    Member

    You can borrow mine!!! 😆 😆 😆

    skype a great idea…. spend time with ds, im sure himself and your studies will keep you so busy that 6 weeks will fly in xxx

    #105435
    Fabienne
    Member

    Your daughter is coming back soon. How did her trip go?
    Was the separtion more difficult for you or her, was it ok? Were you able to be in contact with her? I guess with skype and internet cafe, you were.
    Sure she’ll have plenty to talk about.
    It’s a trip of a lifetime.

    Fabienne

    #105457
    hjs
    Member

    Leaving Australia Wed, staying HK 36 hrs ( a 5 star hotelI was informed, not a lowly 4 star 1 like she stayed in in Singapore on way out – if only she was old enough to really appreciate it, say like, i dunno, 36 just to think of a random age!!!), back to LHR fri lunchtime where I’ll hopefully meet her, weather permitting, back to Ireland Sat eve.

    She has had a ball, really is a trip of a lifetime for her in so many ways, am glad she’s been lucky enough to have the experience. Missed her, but not done all the things I planned to to fill my time, passed so quickly.

    Am now a skype convert, has been a saviour.

    She asked if she could sleep in my bed with me Fri cos she has missed me so much – have relented and agreed (cos of course, it suits me abs grand!) 😀 😀 😀

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