March 21, 2011 at 10:56 pm #11429emptyblanketsMember
My cousin had her 12 week scan today and was told her baby had died around 8 weeks……………my heart breaks for her.
Right now she doesn’t want to really talk to anyone. She want’s to be alone. I really understand and I advised her family to respect her wishes for today.
Her mother called me and she is upset that the hospital are going to give her 2 pills (I’m assuming to bring on labor) that she can take at home when she is ready? When she has her baby At Home she then goes in for a D&C.
Can anyone reading this please tell me if this is the norm if you’re under 20 weeks? What does she do with all she passes at home and the baby? It just doesn’t sound right to me. I hope someone reads this tonight and is able to help…………………thanks.March 22, 2011 at 7:36 am #111478lyn11Member
I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it is the norm… I was given these tablets for both my miscarriages. For the first they brought on heavy bleeding and bad cramps within about 6 hours. Tell her to make sure and take pain killers with the tablets. I passed the sac with the baby at home and they are buried in our garden. For the second the tablets didnt work at all gave me a sick stomach and i became dehydrated very quickly. I after a lot of hassle ended up having a d&c.
They give you these tablets a few hours before a d&c also to soften your cervix for when they are doing the op.
Hope this helps any questions you have my no.
LynMarch 22, 2011 at 10:41 am #111490happymumblemumParticipant
Oh my god I wouldn’t be able for doing this at home..is this really what happens?? Can you see the baby?? Sorry for the personal question but these are all the things that would put me off trying again..I think I have read too many forums since my last preg whereby I didn’t have a notion.
My husband would be less than useless..
So sorry emptyblankets for your cousins loss I am sure you will be of great support and comfort.March 22, 2011 at 1:40 pm #111497JedtKeymaster
Emptyblankets, so sorry for your cousin and what she is going through, this must be very difficult for you too, bringing up sad memories. Sadly, you may the person she turns to, as you understand what she is going through and you may be able to offer her some comfort.
On our first miscarriage we were sent home to deal with it ourselves but were not given tablets to take because I was already bleeding. We went through a lot of the pain and blood loss and passing the sac and possibly our baby (I still don’t know if it was our baby I passed at home, my poor mum cleaned it up so I never saw what it was) but the bleeding was so severe that we went back to the hospital and I was admitted over night. I had a complete miscarriage and a scan the next morning confirmed I did not need a D&C. It was awful and painful too, I wish I’d had some pain relief because I found it very hard to manage the pain and the trauma of the loss. I would have liked to have been able to numb it out a bit but all I was recommended to take was paracetamol – not very effective!!!
If this is going to happen to her, I would suggest she get strong pain killers from them, something like zydol or tylex – losing a baby can mean labour which is very sore and traumatic – especially knowing there is no baby at the end of it and pain relief can help a little.
On our second miscarriage we were sent home again and told to see what happens – we were not given any tablets to take on this one either. We waited for days but nothing happened and eventually, they scheduled me for a D&C.
She needs understanding, support and pain relief now and hopefully she will get that from the hospital and her family. All you can do is be there for her to support her when she needs to talk and needs a shoulder to cry on.
Again, so sorry for her. Hope you are coping ok; this cannot be easy on you either.
Take care.March 23, 2011 at 12:02 am #111525Taylor5Member
Emptyblankets so sorry about your cousin, cant be easy for you at the moment with all this going on, hope your okay and not finding it emotional to deal with…. but im afraid it is the norm, my miss was the very same, sent home (with no tablets). If mother nature does her thing, well she will pass and then return for a scan, if this scan is clear then she wont have to have a d&c
I had a horrific 9 day wait and thought i passed my baby, but no and had to be rush in for emergency D&C, not something i’d like to go through again… if it happened again i’d be asking to get booking for a D&C asap
Very sorry too hear about your cousins loss its such a cruel and horrible time and she needs her space to get her head around things, give her time she will want and need you all for support xxxxxxxxxApril 13, 2011 at 1:07 pm #112245AnonymousInactive
I’m just amazed at reading this. I can’t believe this is what women have to go through at home. Take 2 tablets and wait! I had a miscarriage myself with very very slight bleeding. I actually wanted to go home and they wouldnt let me…said I could haemorage at home and hospital is the safest place to be. That was 2005 in Our lady of lourdes. I had little or no bleeding and had a D&C the next day. I really wanted to go home but they refused point blank. Seems sodifferent now?April 13, 2011 at 7:56 pm #112273Taylor5Member
Mummy5 i had massive bleeding and passing huge clots (which i thought was the baby) it went on for 3 weeks from first bleed to emergency D&C, i still find it very upsetting to think what i went through. When i read other womens stories about their losses its just breaks my heart
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