- This topic has 17 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 12 years ago by
.
-
Posts
-
According to Gina Ford’s book for mums, couples should rekindle their love life 4-6 weeks after the birth. One quote in the book says women should ‘grin and bear it’ when resuming sex with their partner/husband.
Does this advice sound good to you? I think it puts women under pressure and is disrespectful men by suggesting they would be waiting & expecting to have sex so soon after the birth of their child.
Personally I think couples should get their love life back on track when they both feel ready. If the woman had a difficult birth, she may need more time before feeling physically ready. There should not be a recommendation of 4-6 weeks, for many that is just way too soon in my opinion….
Can someone who has no children really offer practical advice on these kinds of issues??
For example, how can she know what an episiotomy or difficult birthis like? You really cannot understand something like that until you’ve been through it? I had episiotomy, forceps & vacuum on my first birth and I could not walk straight for about 5 weeks….so there was no way I could do anything else when I could not walk straight or pee without wincing. 😳
She may be deluded!!
perhaps if the woman chooses to and would like to try and resume sex they could use these dates as a guideline but as for grinning and bearing it what a ridiculous notion especially if there has been trauma to the area, this could cause further emotional and mental trauma let alone causing physical pain to an already sensitive area. I did try to resume sex approx 6 weeks after baby number 2 and that was because I had an easy birth – no stitches and wanted to however it was still very loose down there 😳 which was a bit shocking but not surprising as it takes time for things to tighten back up and get back to normal 😆 so again im guessing it really depends on the person
This got me thinking and i went back to my birth books and i was surprisedhow much quicker i got back in the saddle after ds2, it was about 3 weeks longer on ds1… i really think it was the whole breast feeding thing!!
The grin and bear it is very disturbing, the idea of some poor young mother reading that shite!!!
it’s nothing to do with getting back in the saddle so to speak – it’s the idea that women who are not ready would force themselves to "grin and bear it" that disturbs me! As humans we are all different and what works for one won’t necessarily work for the next, to use to 4-6weeks possibly as a guideline maybe ok but the idea of "grinning and bearing" it doesn’t sit right with me. 😡
I had problems with SPD in last few weeks of DD1, plus a full labour, then emergecny section which ened up in general anesthic and the SPD dosen’t go immediately after birth – we took our time. We were def more confident about resuming things after DD2 😉Can someone who has no children really offer practical advice on these kinds of issues??
She may be deluded!!
That’s why I always questioned the logic of priests giving pre-marital courses. Discussing couple’s relationships, sex and child rearing….three things they have no experience in!! 🙄
it’s nothing to do with getting back in the saddle so to speak – it’s the idea that women who are not ready would force themselves to "grin and bear it" that disturbs me! As humans we are all different and what works for one won’t necessarily work for the next, to use to 4-6weeks possibly as a guideline maybe ok but the idea of "grinning and bearing" it doesn’t sit right with me. 😡
I had problems with SPD in last few weeks of DD1, plus a full labour, then emergecny section which ened up in general anesthic and the SPD dosen’t go immediately after birth – we took our time. We were def more confident about resuming things after DD2 😉I find the grin and bear it troubles me, to think of a mother out there forcing herself to do something she or her body isnt ready for…
Sabbi some of the priest in Ireland have had alot os sex…. Father Cleary is a prime example!! To think i was dragged from a talk he attended at my school after i asked him if it was true he was shagging his house keeper and he had a love child!!! 😆 😆 😆 That was years before the story broke, my Aunt lived only a few yards from his house, i was nearly expelled, my father stood his ground and said he would go to the papers if this happened as the dogs on the street knew father cleary had a child 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆
Taylor – after saying that to a priest, we should get you to interview Gina Ford, that would make fascinating listening. She would meet her match in you!! 😆 😆
The woman is mad!! I thought I knew what it would be like to have babies but I did not have a clue until I did it….she’s a mentalist!!!
Is she not dead??
Yes i did say that to a priest!!! It was my tutor Sister Rosaleen who Dragged me out by the ear, she was like sally gunnell i think she jumped a few chairs to get to me and get me out the door!!! We laughed about it for days, at our school reunion last year, we still were in fits laughing about it 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆
It was one of those classic school memories 😀 😀 😀
I have to say as a priest he was a lovely man and i really really liked him, he sat on the school stage chain smoking talking about how he had had throat cancer!!! 🙄 🙄 🙄The woman writes absolute rubbish. On my ds, I went in looking for a book on weaning and my hubby picked up the contented little baby book – he reckoned maybe that would tell us how to ge ds to sleep more. I only read a bit of it and it really annoyed me. I would not take any advise from that woman.
As to "grin and bear it" – what century is that woman in? It is like telling you to lie back and think of your country. Absolute drivel from a woman who know nothing about what she is talking.
Sabbi – I had the same sort of delivery on ds as you had on your first(little devil decided to go asleep in the middle of everything!). It takes weeks to get over that – just for you normal bodily functions to kick in without any pain. If my hubby had any notions of me grinning and bearing it during that time – he would definately not be walking straight now!!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.