Ray D’Arcy Breastfeeding discussion on now

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  • #5647
    Jedt
    Keymaster

    Hi all,

    Tune in to Ray D’Arcy….breastfeeding is getting its regular national bashing from some emotionally repressed guy who was turned off his pudding by a woman breastfeeding!!!

    The usual nonsense from typical Irish people who are so hung up on body image they cannot see breastfeeding for what it is – a mum feeding her baby.

    I don’t know any woman who ‘strips off’ to feed her baby’, anyone I know who does, is very discreet.

    Lets be honest, who wants to strip off after having a baby. Anyway, with the extra baby fat around the tummy most of suffer from who would want to expose more flesh than is totally necessary!!!

    I bottle fed my 1st and breastfed my other two so am not saying everyone should breastfeed. It is a personal choice which should be respected. However, if a mum does bf, she should get support, not be gawked at and made to feel uncomfortable.

    So silly….

    #79323
    babycam
    Member

    I breast fed my baby for the first month and it’s the best thing I ever done, Anyone who is in 2 minds about breast feeding, Id tell them to give it a try. Its so natural and it is easily done discreetly if your away from home. Its all about a mother and her baby, not what other people think

    #79375
    super minder
    Member

    here girls ten years ago i was in mc donalds with mum and granny and a new born who boy who was due to be fed. i said we can pop into mc donalds in dun laoighaire. it was about 11am.
    it was a nice day i had a very bagggy top but son under it . you could bearly see a little head. the manager came over and asked me to stop or leave. i started to laugh. he got thick with me. i said go into your office and write me a letter asking me to leave and why.

    my mum was hopping mad. i was quite peaceful finished feeding my son and when he was finish took him out and winded him. thefemale manager came back out and said she couldnt give me a letter and gave us free vouchers. and siad its a man thing and sorry.

    i cant belive 10 years on people are still given out about a wonderful thing.
    dont be buillied and stay calm . im going to try breast feeding again in jan xxxx

    #79392
    babycam
    Member

    its just madness .In some Countries you’d be stared at for bottle feeding bacause breast feeding is the done thing.
    I dont understand why people act like this, Fair play for keeping your cool, I would have been on to the Jerry Ryan show!!

    #79394
    hjs
    Member

    Girls, I know you all promoting personal choice and let’s remember it up to a mum how she feeds her child at the end of the day. No one else’s business unless she wants it to be.

    Breast feeding great, fair play to anyone who does it, but it not always "so natural" for every mum if she doesn’t get the right support or even physically able. Eg i know one woman who now only preg and leaking all over place and one woman on other hand who had 2 kids and never ever a single drop came out of her despite all kindsa proddin and pokin.

    In UK u stared at funny if u DON’T breast feed – u made to explain urself at hosp and have to disturb midwives to get bottles in some hosps, so it positively discouraged to bottle feed. I am sure as fellow mums we wouldn’t want anyone to feel this kinda pressure at a diff time about whatever the choice of feeding is, and so need to promotr choice. That means yes, enlightening those who don’t u/s breast feeding, but equally AT THE SAME TIME acknowledging bottle feeding fine for some mums and babies, but also playing down the whole debate into context.It PERSONAL choice.

    #79401

    I missed it. 😕
    I hope Ray was more enthusiastic about bfing that Tubridy was a few years back. Grrr….

    I agree that its a choice we all have to make as mums and that no one should feel bullied into a particular way of feeding/made to feel guilty.

    However,I don’t necessarily think that in being enthusiastic in regards to breastfeeding, promoting breastfeeding with the known benefits and calling it natural is in any way a judgement of those who do not/cannot breastfeed. The benefits should be discussed freely in order to promote bfing; I think sometimes there is the perception that promoting bfing is condemning bottlefeeding.

    I have been in both shoes – breastfed one child exclusively for 16 months, my second child had a combination of bottle and breast, and my first was on bottles from 4 weeks due to horrendous breastfeeding difficulties and my own post partum issues and she got quite ill as a result of not feeding properly. In that situation formula saved us.

    #79402
    hjs
    Member

    i think all discussion of the debate should be couched with the rider that how you feed your baby is a personal choice, which thankfully on this site, it is.

    I don’t think you can have a balanced debate about it in many situations if all feeding methods are not evenly handled. Sometimes that’s not what’s on the agenda, such as in a situation where breast feeding is being supported, not as a challenge to or criticism of those who bottle feed, but as a choice in its own right, which is fair enough.

    Would be nice if those bottle feeding felt they could as readily promote their choice, sadly, not always possible, agian, though, thankfully not on this site.

    Language and the inferences of it is a very sensitive tool. Think that if everyone, media, mothers and anyone that doesn’t cover(!)just accepted a mother’s choice of how to feed her baby is her choice, whatever the method and left it it at that, that would be the most help. Admittedly though, am struggling to see how to implement that cultural mind-shift!

    #79416
    MUMMY5
    Member

    Its so strange that when everyone is going ‘organic’, ‘natural’, ‘back to nature’ etc. etc. that breastfeeding is still a big NO NO to some people. Its what womens bodies were designed to do if a women wants to and is able to breastfeed her baby.

    It can be hard to find somewhere quiet and relaxing to feed your baby though. I know when I fed my little boy in 2002/3 I used to go up to Blanchardstown to shop as they had somewhere to feed your baby. Other mums used it too and it was nice and relaxing without any negative comments.

    I also asked the girls in a local coffee shop would it be okay if I came in and had a coffee to feed my baby. They were great about it and totally supportive. But I have done the going to the back of a church to sit and feed my baby in town too, or gone back to the parked car as sometimes the hassle of people gawping was just too much. I was always very discrete and the only clue was the strange sucking noise 😆

    Are people really so thick as to think a hungry baby who is breastfed can ‘just wait’ until mum finds somewhere else to feed. A hungry baby is a hungry baby.

    #79423
    hjs
    Member

    It is crazy that people would be thinking they could say anything about when, where or how a baby is fed. None of their…

    I am going to ask quite a contaversial question now i think. I am certainly not trying to be offensive, just trying to undestand…

    As I said, in UK u r really looked down on in a lot, a majority of situations, if u R NOT breast feeding. Is v much expected practice and so no eyelids batted whenenver and wherever a woman feeds really. So, why, in this neighbouring, as 1st world and educated a nation (my exp so far is state education miles better than uk) as UK, is breast feeding (publicly) apparently so problematic a concept for some sectors of society? Is it something to do with religion?

    I’m only asking cos it is the first obv and cross-society cultural diff between the 2 nations I can think of. Am sure if i put my mind to it, I could come up with some more…

    #79473
    Moonflower
    Member

    sore subject for me to…have mixed feelings….certainly feel u shoudl breastfeed whereever you need to but also you shouldnt be frowned upon should you not be able to or choose not to breastfeed…

    as for feeding in a restaurant…its lovely to see & i would do so if i had a baby…but woudl try to be a little discreet…

    i actually feel it is more encouraged here than in the uk…….

    #79475
    Jedt
    Keymaster

    I think we still have body issues in Ireland. That someone can be offended by a breastfeeding mother is sad. I don’t know any woman who would flaunt herself whilst feeding, quite the opposite in fact, most women go to great lengths to cover up.

    However, we are quite a contradictory nation. On one hand some Irish people feel women should cover up when feeding or not do it publicly but on any given weekend you can see girls out on the town, wearing next to nothing yet no one bats an eye. Even schoolgirls, who wear their skirts rolled up and are plied with make up do not cause offence but a mother feeding her child does??

    Again, I must reiterate that I believe every mother should choose to feed her baby the way she feels most comfortable. I would never look down on a woman for bottle or breastfeeding, it is a personal choice and one that should be respected.

    However, when a mother decides to breastfeed, she should be supported and not made to feel like she is doing something wrong.

    It’s tough enough looking after a new baby without anyone making it unnecessarily harder!

    I recently heard of a mum who was in Dublin with her baby and nipped into the Gresham Hotel to bf her baby. When she saw the manger approach her she got ready for a telling off about feeding her baby but instead, the manager offered her a cup of tea on the house to rehydrate herself! She was surprised but delighted to get such support while feeding.

    So some places are very supportive!! One up for the Gresham in my books!!

    #79476
    hjs
    Member

    (Moonflower,

    U feel what is more encouraged here than in the uk? Breast-feeding or breast feeding in public?)

    Continuing…

    Think it difficult to assert that anywhere more actively encourages breast feeding than in a country where on hospital ante-natal, delivery and maternity wards, walls are adorned with many "My baby gets the best – my baby is breast-fed" posters. Common practice in UK. I’m not arguing that there aren’t sound, nutritional benefits to breast-feeding. But there are also nutritional benefits to bottle feeding, ie the baby is geting nutrition, in the absence of (an ability or desire to) breast feeding

    As I have said, breast feeding can be a wonderful thing for those who want to or manage to do it. Pejorative and ill-balanced debate of the subject of how to feed (as in such hospital one-sided and public endorsement of one method of feeding or anything else for that matter, as outlined above) is unhelpful if you start from the premise that it’s a mother’s right to know what’s best for her and her family.

    Glad it doesn’t happen on this site.

    #79527

    History plays a big part in how we look at things as a society. Breastfeeding for women of my generation (early 30’s) and those younger was not seen at the norm as it was not the norm for the previous generations ie. our mothers, grannies, etc

    My mother breastfed – but not here – in another Country. It was considered normal where she was. So I was raised only every thinking of breastfeeding – the idea of giving a bottle was completely foreign to me.

    My MIL was actively encouraged to bottlefeed. There was very much the assumption passed down from her mother, that bottlefed babies were healthier…better weights..less likely to get ill. In a generation where having many children(MIL is one of 13) was very much the norm, it was assumed that breastfeeding babies would not get enough…they were thinner than their bottlefed counter-parts therefore less healthy, etc. MIL also says there was an economic/social issue – breastfeeding was seen as what poor women did – that they couldn’t afford to give their babies the better option of formula.

    I know women who breastfeed who are not from breastfeeding families but generally speaking breastfeeders either A) come from a family with breastfeeding as normal B) are actively encouraged with breastfeeding but not from breastfeeding families C) have read all the research and are very determined to breastfeed.

    Our rates comparatively are shocking to the UK, USA, and Europe.

    I read once that our maternity care is 10 yrs behind that of the UK… in terms of breastfeeding promotion I would say it is similar. There is very little support for women who breastfeed and the information and advice from professionals is often very lacking and conflicting…esp when she goes home from hospital.

    #79553
    happymumblemum
    Participant

    Interesting.

    #79565
    Taylor5
    Member

    My sister tried to talk me out of breast feeding, she said "one of her friends sat with the baby on her boob for months and thats what you will have to do and your house will be a mess" 🙄 Now that from a mother of 2 in her 40’s

    I would love to know what type of pudding he was eating? I was on the Santa train last year and feeding ds2, an old man was talking to me for 10 mins and only when the poor man went to rub babs cheek did he notice he was on the boob…. needless to say he said his goodbyes and ran off before he nearly had a stroke. I was talking to the same old man during the summer and he remembered me 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    On the other hand I do know a mother who does strip off to feed, Scole will know who Im talking about…. Im not kidding she would be half naked while feeding, I was bf ds2 at the time and I got 😳 and didnt know where to look myself 🙄
    I think its a great thing to do if it suits you. its free, no washing or making bottles, traveling is such a joy and night feeds are a dream

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