Pregnant, starting new job in work and worried sick…..

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  • #9458
    Baby2
    Member

    Hi All,

    This is my first post on Mumstown and I am delighted to have found somewhere that I can tell someone my worries and hopefully someone out there will have some advice for me.
    To start, it has been a tough few years for us. My husband had Hodgkins Disease 10 years (thank God he is fine at the moment) but at the time we were only going out a short while but were told because of the treatment he would receive we probably would never have kids but to cut a long story short, we defied the odds and have a beautiful Daughter who is 3 and a half. I had a miscarriage in April of this year at 14 weeks which was devastating and then another m/c in July. We had decided that we would leave trying for a baby until after Christmas and give ourselves some time to recover from what was a tough year. I work part-time in a FAS Scheme in work and about 6 weeks ago I was offered a contract to go full-time for a year to cover a maternity leave for one of the girls. I was absolutely thrilled about this and really looking forward to it. I am due to start my training for the job next Friday. We were in Spain last week at my husbands sisters wedding and I was expecting my period over there but it never arrived. It dawned on my yesterday to a pregnancy test which is positive…..we are both absolutely over the moon and completely shocked as we weren’t even trying properly but now I am in a complete state about getting in trouble with work….I am sick at the thoughts of having to tell them. My husband wants me to say nothing for the moment but I just can;t do that, I have to be upfront with them. I am petrified of what they are going to say to me. I am due to start training on Fri and they think they have everything sorted and now I am going to go in and drop the bombshell that I am pregnant too….Can they let me go? I should also tell you that I have no contract signed as of yet. I am so disappointed as all myself any my husband want is a little brother or sister for our little girl and the joy is just being overshadowed by all of this. I didn’t sleep a wink last night with worry. I am so sorry for the long winded post but I would appreciate so much if you would let me know what you think. xx

    #100986
    Taylor5
    Member

    Baby2 welcome to the site and congrats on the pregnancy, also im very sorry to hear about your losses.
    I was in the same situation on my ds1, i was in a job a few years was very very stressfull job with odd hours etc… we were trying for ds and i felt my job wasnt going to help, so im moved departments, had terrible back pain so i said "ah heck this new move not working with my health" so i gave in my notice
    I found a new job the next week, but in the mean time the back ache i thought i had from moving departments was really the first signs of pregnancy!!!!
    So here i was a few weeks pregnant starting my new job!!! I felt terrible but i said NOTHING…. i felt if i was working there already i wouldnt have to tell them i was pregnant untill i felt i had to ie 3 or 4 months or later down the line…. thats what i did got my foot in the door then dropped the bomb, but what could they say?
    Could they sack you? Eh, YES! You dont have a contract….. bide your time, its early days and look after yourself, get a few months work under your belt (and money in the bank) them tell them, they will have months to sort out someone to cover you. KEEP STUM, better to have a job then not have a job iykwim
    NOW, DONT BE STRESSING…… its only a job!

    #100990
    hjs
    Member

    Taylor is right, a job is only a job, and when ur LO from this pregnancy is a bouncing 6MO (please God) u will not be giving this little glitch a second thought.

    U don’t owe these people anything, and much as this may sound harsh, nobody is indispensable. they will find a way around your departure if that’s how it turns out, the organisation won’t grind to a halt because you are not there in whatever capacity – somehow, someway, the work will get done.

    Given your circumstances, the joy of this pregnancy and its potential is a million times more important than a job. But i don’t see why you have to say anything to them yet, especially at this early stage. Carry on regardless for now.

    #100994
    Jedt
    Keymaster

    Say nothing….you don’t have to say anything yet, its very early days.

    I learned the hard way on this one myself. I was in a long term job, had been there 5 years, promoted several times and thought I was big part of the team, invaluable….etc

    Then found out I was pregnant and felt ‘should’ tell my boss, because I thought I owed it to him to be upfront. My husband tried to talk me out of it but at 8 weeks, I caved in and told my boss. The first words out of his mouth, before he even said congratulations, were ‘will you be coming back after you have the baby’!!!

    Should have listened to my husband and said nothing. It all changed from that moment, they treated me differently, forgot at cc me on emails or invite me to meetings. There was a big conference on when I was about 5 months pregnant and I was not invited, I was furious but my boss just shrugged it off and said he did not think I would want to travel in my condition.

    The point is, they made decisions about me and for me without consulting me just because I was pregnant.

    My pregnancy did not affect my ability to do my job and most probably will not affect your ability to do yours, so if you can keep shush until you are further along, then you can tell them when the time is right for you. Don’t be put under pressure. Your priority is your family right now.

    And most importantly, congratulations on your pregnancy!! I had a miscarriage during the summer too and just getting back to myself now, its great that you are pregnant again, a lovely surprise and you deserve to enjoy it.

    Good luck, take care.

    #102259
    Daisy37
    Member

    hey Baby2,

    How are you doing?? Hope all is well with you and you are enjoying the job.

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