- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by Anonymous.
April 18, 2016 at 9:45 pm #18768scole1Member
what do you think when you hear the words positive parenting course? Do you think "oh that sounds good I must give it a go?" Or do you think "oh no not for me that’s only for parents who just can’t parent?"
Well I decided to take the leap and attend a positive parenting course. Sure what had I to loose, a couple of hours a week and possible new ways to look at how I parent in certain situations.
I went with an open mind yet still a little unsure what I was actually going to. I was hoping I wasn’t going to be preached to or made feel inadequate as a parent. I knew I wasn’t perfect and didn’t have all the answers so I went cautiously to the course.
The course was held by Allen of CA Coaching. From the moment I sat down I felt at ease. Allen was welcoming and he definitely did not make you feel like you were the worst parent in the world and needed to be preached to.
It was a place to go to air whatever was the issue and discuss ways to deal with the issues presented. Every parent that sat in the group was there for the same reason. Granted we all had different issues but we were there with one goal in mind to become a better parent in dealing with any issues that arose with our kids.
At the time of attending the course I think Ias a parent felt helpless, tired and overwhelmed by what was going on at home. I had made it through the baby stage the toddler stage the young child stage and now heading into the pre teen stage and finding it harder to communicate without us all falling out with one another.
Not only that we were going through a life changing moment in our family with a family member with cancer and being the mommy and wife I took on the I will fix everyone role yet neglected myself and how I could cope and deal and communicate with my kids. It was a difficult time for my kids unsure of what would happen next, worry of the future and also their personal changes of getting older.
I thought I could do it all yet I was doing it not wrong but probably not approaching certain melt down moments or frustrations properly. Outburst of sibling fighting, mood swings and moments of tears and finding the right moments to talk openly just weren’t timed right or perhaps approached right.
With Allen at the helm he reminded us that we weren’t aiming to be the perfect parents we were aiming to be just good enough and that good enough was just fine and dandy. (Not exact words but along those lines)
We had to leave behind the want for the perfect parent at the door as shock horror there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We had to learn to be good enough parents.
Throughout the course Allen gave great tips on communicating with our children. Tips on how to deal with various situations like conflict and boundary setting and many more.
I think the biggest thing I learned throughout the course was about myself. I thought I was a great listener but realistically I wasn’t properly listening without distractions..There was always something or someone distracting me at the most important times. It became an eye opener and in turn I suppose and ear opener.
There were so many topics covered and at the time that some were not really needed right then and there but over time I have been able to go back to notes and tip sheets and use them.
When certain situations arise in our house now we sit and we talk about it. We all get the opportunity to have our say and respect our views and opinions and we work through them as a family and look for outcome we want to see. Working together as a family taking time out, putting down distractions, switching off from outside distractions or influences we try and solve the issue.
Now we are perfect. .. only kidding there is no such thing as perfect but we are better able to deal with situations as they arise.
When I started the course I mentioned to some parents that I was attending the course. Some parents were very positive about it and welcomed the idea and hoped for some tips. Others weren’t so positive about the idea of attending a course. They were the parents who made me feel small and inadequate as a parent and made me feel embarrassed to admit I was attending a course.
Well I can proudly stand up and say I attended a course and would recommend all parents at some stage in their parenting life to attend a positive parenting course.
We don’t have all the answers to every situation. We haven’t encountered every possible scenario of parenting challenges with an answer to each one. We don’t know yet what our little humans are going to be, what personalities that they will display or what problem they may encounter in their life.
They need us as parents to help them and in order to do that we need to learn as we go.
Having the likes of Allen in CA Coaching helps with this. He may not have all the answers but he certainly can help us parents find a way to achieve a positive way of finding them.
I never thought that i would have to deal with what we had to deal with over the past year and i am thankful that i picked up a few tips on how to make it through.
I’m sure the journey will continue with new bumps in the road and no doubt new ways to overcome different situations will be sought.
However i now know that it’s okay to ask as a parent for help or seek help or even admit thati as a parent don’t have all the answers. All i can do is my best and if my best isn’t perfect well that’s just fine.
I don’t hide behind the facade of we are fine and perfect and never have falling outs temper tantrums etc etc. We are a normal family we argue, we cry, we
Have our temper tantrums, we have bad days. But we also have really good days. We talk to one another, we laugh together, we spend time together properly and now we try that little bit harder to listen to one another especially when we really need to. We work out things together. We are certainly not the perfect family but we will continue our growing journey together, and whatever life throws at us we will find our way.
So to all those parents out there that feel they are loosing their s**t you are not alone. You are not bad parents you are doing your best.
To Allen thank you for your help and tips along the way. It’s just a pity there isn’t a pocket sized version of you to have on hand each day. Allen is like a little Yoda for parents. He brings outthe parenting force within you.April 19, 2016 at 8:59 am #136156munchinParticipant
Hi Scole – sounds like a very good and something well worth the timeApril 19, 2016 at 9:32 am #136157scole1Member
Hi munchin. . I have to say it was well worth it. It’s not something I would have thought of going to initially as there seems to be a negative stigma attached to such courses…
Its such a shame because these courses are for everyone for all parents no matter your background. There is only so much that we can deal with before we ask for advice and help and most times its better to get ideas tips help etc from someone other than family members or friends. It’s great to be able to air your concerns in a safe confidential non judgemental environment with a professional non biased person there that can help your situation.April 19, 2016 at 10:54 pm #136165CA CoachingParticipant
Thank you so much for the kind words. The participants really make the programme and everyone learns so much from each other.
If anyone is interested I will be starting my next online course (you don’t even have to leave your home!!) next Wednesday evening at 8.30pm. The course runs for 6 sessions and will be appox 2 hours.
If you are interested drop me a pm or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
AllenApril 20, 2016 at 10:04 am #136183AnonymousInactive
Thanks scole, really helpful and informative
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.