Partner moving in?

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    Hi all,
    Didn’t know where I should post this. Just looking for a bit of advice and not sure where to go so maybe someone has been thru something similar.
    Basically I’m 24yrs old. Had my first child when I was 20, myself and her dad didn’t stay together and we went thru a hard time. I was suffering from depression and didnt really cope that well. We went thru court for access and maintenance and he has always been a wonderful dad to our little girl who is now 4. I then fell pregnant again and had a son 17 months later. His father is not in the picture for a lot of reasons.
    I’ve been living away from my parents since my eldest was 6months and would never dream of moving back with my parents.
    Anyways, I have been back with my first borns father since April 2012 and it has been brilliant (much better than first time) and he has taken on my son as his own as has his family.
    Over the last year I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic disorder and fibromyalgia and also suffer quite bad with migraines. It’s gotten to the stage where I can longer cope with managing my children, my housework, bills etc etc.
    myself and my partner discussed him moving in with us and I was just wondering if anyone knows the pros and cons and I can’t think straight about it and just want to say yes straight away.
    I’m on loan parents (€247.60 pw) and rent allowance (€31 pw)
    My partner works full time and earns approx (€1900 pm)

    I know I would lose my loan parents and rent allowance but does anyone know if I would be entitled to anything?
    And is there anything we should think about before we decide?
    This will be the first time either of us will have lived with a partner and he is currently living at home.

    Sorry for such a long most and thanks for reading.
    Any replies would be appreciated!


    I would say get some professional advice. There is a great financial expert on here and you can call them in complete confidence and have a chat over the phone and maybe arrange a time to meet them and go through all your options. Their contact details are and you can call Andy or Alma on (01) 524 1167

    You can also ask in your local citizens advice bureau for some information about what entitlements you would keep and if you would lose any.

    It sounds like it might be good to get you all living together, it would take some of the pressure off you as well as its hard doing all the bedtimes, getting up etc by yourself. that would get any one a bit down.

    Aside from the financial aspects of things, take a moment to think about what you really want. Its best if you want to be living together because you want to with each other and be together as a family – rather than moving in to save a few quid.

    Its good to ask about it and I hope this is a bit helpful – the finance guys at Squaremile are really nice so hopefully they can give some better advice than me!

    Best of luck and I hope you feel better whatever you decide.


    Hi Wobbit,

    Sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulties. Financial advisors in Ireland are not really equipped to deal with complex welfare payment questions so I’m going to point you in the direction of a resource that will have the knowledge and experience of the issues that you have raised.

    There is an organisation in Ireland called One Family which has a wealth of experience and professionals who can help you in all of the issues that you are facing, not just financial. They have a helpline that you can access.

    Click the following link to visit their FAQ page: … line-faqs/

    Their lo-call number is 1890 66 22 12 which is cheaper for you if you are calling from a landline, or call 01 662 9212 if you are calling from a mobile.

    The askonefamily helpline hours are:

    Tuesday | 2.30pm to 4.30pm
    Wednesday | 10.00am to 12.00 noon
    Thursday | 1.00pm to 3.00pm

    If you have you and your partners financial details handy when you call that would be a big help for them.

    Alternatively you could visit your local social welfare to discuss your situation directly with them.

    Hope this helps.

    087 287 5256

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