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i think when your in the moment you just get on with it… you just roll with it and let your body and the adreline take over, to talk about it and think, how will i get through this???? Its hard to imagine, but you just do!
Thats what we are programmed to do, yes its sore both natural or section, but you just put it down to experience….. store it away into the back of the brain and lock the friggen door 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆i remember talking to a new mum who said she had lived in fear for months about doing a poo while giving birth….. she was delighted she hadnt or so she thought, her dh laughed and said "oh yes you did, you did about 3 or 4!" She was gutted and totally morto… the midwife laughted and said its all part of a days work and they just whip the bedmat things off and not a word said…..
Best piece of advice I was given was to pay attention to my body and to work with it as the body knows what it should do and when it should do it.
Definitely Maria, thats sound advice. The more relaxed we are, the easier it can be.
I remember on my first birth, I was panicking a bit and making some noise and the doctor very gently suggested that I should not make any noise but instead, should focus all my energy on pushing. My husband actually snorted with laughter at the prospect of me shutting up but this made complete sense to me – so I shut up and focused on pushing and within a couple of minutes, my baby was born.
My husband was gobsmacked that I did it in silence but this was the best piece of advice that doc could have given me, it made me relax and focus and made the process so much easier for me.
My husband still talks about that now and says he cannot believe I was so quiet (anyone who knows me, knows thats a rare thing!)
I took this piece of advice to heart and remembered it on my second and third births and it really helped me – whatever works you ya eh!!!??
Sabbi im so glad you posted that, i think the fear of child birth stems for the movies and tv, the woman in the throws of labour, buckets of sweat and roaring and shouting/swearing….. while sticking her nails into the partner!!!
So you can understand why people would develop a fear…. its like plane movies, they always crash 😆 😆 😆Taylor I reckon you are right ..we have grown up seeing over the top child birth acted out on the telly and in the films and it hasn’t helped.
I only have 1 tip for any one ..when they say "bear down" that actually means push like you are having a big ginormous poo..forget about your fanny its all about the bum 😆 😆
And yes…you will more than likely poo yerself..I think years ago they used to give women aneames (sp) as standard practice before childbirth
All this fear of birth stuff….
Do we forget as a (modern, 1st world, western) culture that this has been going on since time and memoriam without any medical intervention at all and just the assisted expertise of a midwife?
God, I ma not going to bore anyone with what i am learning on my course, but one thing I have discovered which is REALLY making me think, is that we actually, as a species, have very few innate or inbuilt responses to things (and therefore few things we are "naturally" afraid of). Most of what we do or think off as "natural" reactions are actually as a result of "learnt" experiences, ie, as above, loadsa exposure to (fanciful, exaggereated) notions of giving birth, thus we become CONDITIONED into believeing the depth of trauma/pain/anxirty it will necessarily involve.
The good news is that we can also CONDITION ourselves into positive responses by pairing the notion of something horrible with a POSITIVE occuring sensation repeatedly, and then eventually the thought that used to produce the notion that something was horrible, becomes to produce that positive sensation.
Or something like that…
Apparently!
All a lot more technical trhan that and beyond my thorough comprehension ATM, but pm me in a few weeks for more details!LOL!!!!! 😀 😀 😀
Cant think what the name is but the religon that tom cruise is involved in, dont they give birth without a peep or a sound?
I think scientologists say its better for the mum to focus her energy on pushing and breathing, rather than shouting and screaming and I actually agree with that. It made sense to me to be quiet and focus my energy on labouring and getting baby out, rather than wasting my energy shouting about it.
I was afraid of giving birth on my 1st baby because of what I assumed it was like – which mostly came from seeing it on TV and hearing women say it was awful – but after 1 difficult birth where I learned what not to do, my next 2 births were much easier, as I was far more relaxed and confident in my own abilities to do it.
When I am speaking with someone who is pregnant, I am happy to say birth is not as bad as its often made out to be and I recommend hypnobirthing – that really worked for me, I found it to be a really practical (and old fashioned approach) to giving birth. its a back to basics kind of approach and I found that great and easy to do and it made me feel calm and self assured.
I love being pregnant and having a new baby to love and the birth is just one part of a big process but its understandable why some women are terrified. Its good that Barbara shared her story above about how she overcame it – that makes other mums-to-be realise there is something you can do to prepare and hopefully, take some of that fear away.
All this fear of birth stuff….
Do we forget as a (modern, 1st world, western) culture that this has been going on since time and memoriam without any medical intervention at all and just the assisted expertise of a midwife?
God, I ma not going to bore anyone with what i am learning on my course, but one thing I have discovered which is REALLY making me think, is that we actually, as a species, have very few innate or inbuilt responses to things (and therefore few things we are "naturally" afraid of). Most of what we do or think off as "natural" reactions are actually as a result of "learnt" experiences, ie, as above, loadsa exposure to (fanciful, exaggereated) notions of giving birth, thus we become CONDITIONED into believeing the depth of trauma/pain/anxirty it will necessarily involve.
The good news is that we can also CONDITION ourselves into positive responses by pairing the notion of something horrible with a POSITIVE occuring sensation repeatedly, and then eventually the thought that used to produce the notion that something was horrible, becomes to produce that positive sensation.
Or something like that…
Apparently!
All a lot more technical trhan that and beyond my thorough comprehension ATM, but pm me in a few weeks for more details!LOL!!!!! 😀 😀 😀
That’s it exactly ! It’s a learned behaviour and we can replace the conditioning by changing the belief (that’s where hypnosis comes in).
What are you studying hjs?So many Mums think that the fear of labour is something that’s normal and you just have to suffer through it (or stay in complete denial until the sensations start) but it doesn’t have to be that way. Even from early pregnancy you can change your perception about birth and get to enjoy every minute of your pregnancy with no dread of the big day.
Working with Mums like Barbara and seeing how their lives have changed when they no longer believe the thought that birth MUST be a horrible experience is absolutely wonderful.
Tracy
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