May 13, 2009 at 7:26 am #4385
Well we had our appointment yesterday with Mr El Sharif (think thats how its spelled) and yes its going to happen!!!
His left testicle is undescended and from looking at the sac, it seems it never has come down its right up in his groin and may need 2 surgeries to get it down. He also needs to have a circumsision and they will do that at the same time as the testicle (the first time).
He is 8 and has no idea what is going to happen(have yet to get date but Dr said its urgent as its been up there that long) what the hell do I say to him, x thinks i should leave it and say the doc isgoing to fix you, it wont hurt he will put you to sleep, but i think i should tell him exactly whats going to happen, i mean his penis is going to look totally diff and he is at the age where he will want to know why what where when etc!!!
Anyone any ideas?? Also is anyone has any stories of older boys getting this done id appreaciate it.
Thanks.May 13, 2009 at 7:45 am #73499munchinParticipant
god yummy wouldn’t have a clue but i suppose try to keep explaination as simple as possible for him. I would wait until you had a date though to say anything at all – you know hospitals could be a while away yet.May 13, 2009 at 7:47 am #73502
Oh im defo not going to say anything until we get the date of the surgery and take it from there, i just want to know what to say to him ya know, its going to be hard for him i think as he is older and i dont want to be saying the doc is going to fix you , he will ask fix what etc etc!May 13, 2009 at 7:57 am #73505YvonneMember
I think you are right to explain it to him in some detail, but very simple like Munchin said, you are right, he is at an age where he will notice.. and saying he needs fixing…. might bother him..
Hope you get an appointment soon!May 13, 2009 at 8:19 am #73510kasiaMember
hi yummy. sorry to hear that your little boy needs surgery.
from my own and my friends expierience is best when the child knows what’s going to happen to him.
son of my freind had to had his foreskin fixed, he was just a bit younger (7,5) than your one. she explained how his wiily should look like, what’s going to happen to him etc. he was a bit sore after but he was very proud that the doctor fixed his willy. after a while it passed and he is fine.
maybe you could get a children’s anatomy book, show him how penis looks like, that there are two little balls and that his one is not where it should be and the doctor is goiong to fix it (put it in the right place) for him. and don’t be afraid to say fix because that’s what is going to happen. when something is not right we fix it and is better. that is as simple as you can you can get 🙂
answer all the questions he might have, and don’t be afraid 🙂
but surely he must suspect something from the doctor examining his penis?
all the best.May 13, 2009 at 8:31 am #73512
To be quite honest he hasnt asked a thing about why he is being examined, i think he knows though (has been examined a few times) i just dont want to scare him with words if you know what i mean(like cut you with a knige, cut your skin off etc etc, now that would scare me 🙂 )
A book is a good idea (my mam is a 5th floor nurse must ask her if they have anything lying around up there in regards to what i need)May 13, 2009 at 8:38 am #73514scole1Member
ah yummy feel for you as my ds will need a circumcsion and he’s only 3 and wondering how do i tell him about it when he gets it done…..but your little man is a lot older and will understand pain and what is being donw….
supose as had been said explain to him about why it’s needed and that it’s for when he’s older and that there’s nothing wrong with him and his willy will be fine and so will he….and with the whole circumcsion it’s gonna be better for him later on in life iykwim……
until you need to tell him don’t unless he starts panicking and asking, but tell x not to open his mouth that you’ll deal with it first…..May 13, 2009 at 8:44 am #73517
Its hard alright what with him being that bit older and you cant just shrug off a question (you knw like you can when they are younger) but ye are right girls honesty is the best policy and it helps that his uncle and cousin has had it done too (the circumsision part that is)
my x wont open his mouth we agreed not to say anything till we get the letter with the date and then we will tel him together, i can ans some questions and then any boy related questions his dad can answer iykwim.
Have you got a date for your ds one scole?May 13, 2009 at 8:47 am #73519scole1Member
nothing yet, but waiting to see, no doubt will get appointment sent out when i’m due in hospital for baby, so the longer they leave it the better…..for the time being anywayMay 13, 2009 at 8:47 am #73520FabienneMember
as your son is older than mine, it’s a different story (he was 3 when had surgery and I said very little, it was in december). But you should tell him before the surgery what will happen. And you right don’t say about fixing.
Maybe that he needs that to avoid infections. And that is quite common, you can tell him that many boys need that surgery.
And that will help him to have babies when he’ll be older.
That he’s a perfect boy, but he need just a special check up.
Tell him that he’ll have a small scar on his belly like a pirate or warrior. And when he’ll look it will be different than before but that will not change anything.
And if he’s in pain he’ll have medication.
I’m sure you’ll find thewords to talk to him.
Answer all of his questions.
Just say that it’s very common but boys don’t talk about it, and some of his friends might have had that surgery when they were younger.
Tell him he didn’t had it before because it was’nt urgent and you preferd him to be older to understand.
Take care, kisses to your little man.
FabienneMay 13, 2009 at 8:50 am #73522
Im really hoping i get mine in summer hols as that way he can recover a little longer at home ya know. Fingers crossed we get them when we want scole 🙂
Wow fabienne, thanks a mill for them words, that really helps, really puts into into a little bos perspective (re pirate scars etc ) cheers 🙂May 13, 2009 at 2:43 pm #73544ed1Participant
Ah poor J and you. Best not to say anything to him till nearer the date and dont worry he will be fine. Kids are great when it comes to things like this. Believe me it will be harder on you than him. I know when Robbie had to go into hospital last year I was terrible. He was great and whilst I know he didnt have to have surgery, he did have to have lots of drips and blood tests. He thought, after the initial shock, that it was like an adventure.
What Fabienne said it great advice. Big Sis will also be able to shed some light on this as her son has had the surgery too.May 13, 2009 at 8:24 pm #73551lulu1Member
Hard to no wot to say but kids can handle things really well .my ds has to get surgery done down there as well. he ‘s with el shariff as well.The dr. explain the procedure really well ,im more he worried.It’s the waiting thats the hardest.May 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm #73589BeyondScarlettMember
sounds painful really.
It will all be worth it in the end, he will be very grateful when he’s older yo apreciate and undersrand better.May 14, 2009 at 6:20 pm #73592JedtKeymaster
I think in these situations, its best just to be honest.
My son (6) needs to have a circumcision. Hes been on a waiting list since last year and we still don’t have a date but every appointment we’ve had I’ve told him the truth about what’s going on and he’s been o.k. about it.
He’s been to the doc with some infections and he knows he has to go and see another doc at the hosp at some stage but until I have a date I’m not saying anything else to him. I’m just reminding him to wash it all the time to prevent infections!
I think kids deal with these things better than we do. You know you are doing the right thing for your son and in the long run it will be better for him. If you let him know whats happening he’ll probably be fine with it.
My nephew had surgery a few weeks ago on his eye. My sister was really brave until he went asleep and then she cried her eyes out. She was by his side when he woke up. She was all worried and nervous and he simply said ‘mammy, can we go to McDonalds now?’ He was fine….it’s us mammies, we take it worse than our kids!!!
Good luck with everything….
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