Move abroad – how do you make your decision?

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  • #15255
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey there,

    My husband has been offered a job in Poland and we are looking at all our options.. he is all for it as he thinks it would be a great opportunity, which I agree with. But I am scared of it all… of our DD (8) settling, I know DS would be fine (he is just about 4)..

    I worry about the language barrier, about what I would do with myself during the days, missing home, family, friends, getting around etc..

    We visited the city at the weekend and it is a lovely place, not sure if I could live there though as the residential area was very hit and miss, a couple of houses lovely, the next few very badly looked after (or not looked after!).

    One day I think we can do it, but the next few days its not a hope!

    Just wondering for those that have done it, moved away or moved here, how did you come to a decision? We have listed the pros and cons, talked and talked and talked, checked the city out, DH checked the school out.. so don’t know what else to do!

    Thanks in advance!

    #125271
    chewieodie
    Member

    For us we didn’t really feel that we had a choice…
    It was either move….and feel safe and have a safe environment to raise a family… or stay and take our chances….
    and after being held up at gunpoint, there was no contest… 🙄 😉

    We went through the pros and cons… etc etc… but the bottom line is, you need to decide is what is best in terms of future for you and your family? Is the opportunity worth the move? Are there prospects for all of you?

    I moved when I was 8, from Scotland to South Africa…. big culture shock, but I was young, and I was able to make friends easily… and I probably settled faster than anyone else. Kids are resilient… they just get on with it… yes there will be upheaval and settling in, and homesickness, but it will pass….

    I always say that getting through the first 3 months… then the 6 month period… and then finally the year… and then you’ll be grand. BUT, the only way to properly settle is to have your own things with you…. I’m not saying all your furniture etc… but the things that make your house feel like a home to you, and then you can nest anywhere… 😉
    We’ve done a few BIG moves in our time… and thats the way I cope.

    Bottom line is…. you’ll know in your gut if the decision is the right one… as I always say…
    "try the decision on"… "decide" to make the move….. how does your body feel? Do you feel tense / excited / ill / nervous / happy , does your tummy do backflips, and not in a good way? And then try the other decision on…. decide to stay…. and how do you feel then? How does your body react? You’ll know what is right for you… trust your gut!

    Its a big decision… change is always scary, but sometimes change is good… you’ll know yourself…. 😉

    Good luck making the decision… you’ve got a lot to think about!

    #125273
    happymumblemum
    Participant

    omg!!!!!

    Poland???????????????

    I’ll be brutally honest Yvonne here and say you will regret it.
    I know you and your a big family person and I think you will miss the family on your doorstep.

    You would be the last person i’d imagine emmigrating sorry.

    I think if u were defo up for it you wouldnt be posting here, you’d be posting your leaving party details.

    Sorry to be blunt x

    #125279
    Yvonne
    Member

    Thanks Chewie.. you have explained it very well and I like your idea of ‘trying it on’.. I’ll be trying that out!

    Lol HMM!!!! You know me well!

    Its terrifies the life and soul out of me if I am honest! I’m very worried about DD settling, although I know she eventually would..
    As for me, yes I love been near people and being able to call out to my family as and when I want.
    The language would be a major problem too.

    But we do want to look at our options rather than just dismiss it straight away if you know what I mean..

    #125287
    Taylor5
    Member

    Hello Yvonne, i couldnt read and not post…. I wouldbe like HMM about Poland!
    I was just talking to a guy who worked over in Poland for a couple of years, his wife and kids stayed home in Yellowbatter. He is the guy who runs the Coal shop on Crushrod Avenue, he is a lovely guy. Maybe you could call in and ask him what he thought of living in Poland and why they made the choice not to bring the kids etc HTH

    #125319
    Yvonne
    Member

    Thanks Taylor. I know alot of peoples reactions are, eh Poland????!!!!!!

    The language is definitely a must over there. We got by, but then again we were only there for the weekend socially… would be different I’m sure if you were living there.

    Well I ‘tried on’ moving and I felt scared, nervous, terrified! Tried on ‘not moving’ and I felt alot better!

    #125321
    chewieodie
    Member

    Sounds like you know what you want to do then…. 😉

    Would it be an option for hubby towork there and leave you guys here? I don’t know your family situation… but a move that big is something you both have to be fully vested in…. otherwise other factors come to play… ie… one partner "blaming" the other one for moving etc… feeling resentment etc… especially if you are having difficulty settling. You both HAVE to be onboard. There is enough stress tied up in it without the two of you being at each other’s throats…. trust me, I’ve done it enough to know…

    And IF you decide to make the move… then you have to 100% commit. If you don’t, you won’t settle… if you have an "out"…ie…. "ah sure, we can always go back if we don’t like it"… you won’t commit to making it work….
    Been there too…. and seen family members "return" because they were not fully commited.

    Its a BIG decision…. but you have to be sure. Sounds to me as if you need more convincing…. your gut is telling you to stay….

    Perhaps if there is an option for DH to go, try it out, see how he finds it for a few months or so, before uprooting all of you? and to see if the grass is in fact greener….?

    #125322
    Fabienne
    Member

    I’m an expat, the choice was easy for us, before kids and wanted a change and learn english.
    Few years ago I was teaching french in some local primary schools.
    I had to teach 2 girls that arrived in 5th class in Ireland, one from Poland, and one from Thalaind (I think)
    They both got adjusted so well, and learnt english so fast, that they were more receptive to the french, they were the ones in the class with the better french accent. For their english the Polish girl I did not realised (until I was told) that she wasn’t irish.
    The girl from Thalaind, arrive 2 or 3 weeks before the school year, had to learn the alphabet with the letters as we know them, instead of the thai symbols that she was using in her copy.

    They both got adjsuted very very well academicly and socially as well.

    It’s a difficult choice that you have to make after thinking of the pros and cons with your family.

    My husband was recently contacted by an agency asking him if he would be interested in a job in Sweeden. He would have been up for it, myself, not so much the language barrier for me (I know my kids will need jsut few weeks to settle in) is a big worry.

    Best of luck, and no matter what you decide as Cheewie said it has to get your 100%.
    Can’t go and want to come back, and can’t stay and regret the opportunity.

    Fabienne

    #125338
    Yvonne
    Member

    I thought I might come round to the idea when I actually visited the city but I didn’t!

    We are going to look at the commute option too, there is all so much going on its unreal!

    I don’t know of anyone who moved from here to Poland, its generally the other way round!
    Definitely think it will be worth talking to the guy Taylor spoke of, might do that over the next few days!

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