November 3, 2010 at 11:48 am #9930soccermumMember
Dont know if this is the right place to post this.
My 3 and a half year old is attending preschool. He went from september to mid term break no problem what so ever but this week he has been a complete nightmare. He cried on Monday, tried to run out the door crying yesterday and today he caused such a disruption they had to call me to take him home.
He claimed he was sick and when I went and collected him in the car on the way home he asked for his lunch. I have asked him what is wrong and he says he doesnt like a child in the class. I called the school and the teacher said "they have there moments but sorted it out" I have explained to my child that he still must go to school and that he might not want to be friends with everyone but all the children need to go to school.
Anyone any advise, I have two older boys but they never behaved like this.November 3, 2010 at 12:01 pm #103734chewieodieParticipant
I tend to have the tough-love approach. I went through issues with both of mine not wanting to go… and with the first, he was experiencing issues of bullying….. which were resolved, and the problem resolved with it. And with my daughter… it was more seperation anxiety. But, I just took them both… crying / screaming or both…. and made my exit as quick as possible. Then they tend to just get on with it…. and eventually they get back into the swing of it…..
I was also called to come and collect them, but I got through it, as did the kids, with perseverence…..
Good luck!November 3, 2010 at 1:16 pm #103742scole1Member
it’s hard to see your child upset and going through tough times in school…yes you need to sit with your child and assure them that mammy is there and will help you when you need it, talk about feelings and how that particular person makes them feel, and what happens if the person is nasty etc or whatever is happening….
it is also important to take note of days that you child has upset days for your record and then something to be able to go back to the teacher and talk about, sometimes kids will react different to situations and it’s taking in the whole situation that is important (i know from experience and then processing everything you have noted and taking it from there) one trick i have found is to give my ds a sticker each day with a kiss from mommy reminding him that mommy is there when he feels sad, happy, excited, and if he feel threatened in anyway….
then each day we chatted about what happened, and how we had a great day etc and that bullies are people who are sad and frustrated that will learn one day not to be nasty, but it’s important your child know you love you are not cross at them and that you will always listen…also important that the teacher work with you on this and report back to you….November 3, 2010 at 5:42 pm #103766angelmumMember
hi soccermum,im not sure if you should have called your post misbehaving at playschool as from reading it i dont think yoiur child is misbehaving at all.i cant understand why you werent notified that there was an issue with another child and yours.surely if the staff were able to say that here had been an issue in the past then they should have informed you at the time.it could have made a big difference to your child.by them not telling you he must have fealt that he didnt matter and had to find a way of dealing with it himself hence deciding he wasnt going back after the holidays.god love him that must have been mulling around in his little head.i think you should talk to the staff in the company of your child and reassure him that if he is sad about something or does not get on with one of the other kids that the teacher will always listen to him and help him to cope with his feelings in a way that he does not have to take it on himself.i think the playschool staff have alot to answer forNovember 3, 2010 at 6:01 pm #103770scole1Member
also forgot to mention like angelmum said i don’t think it’s your child misbehaving it’s your child telling you in the only form he can that somethings up…
perhaps request the teacher to carry out time sampling observations over the period of the day to see how he is, (these are written) so you should be able to see how he’s doing ….especially on this matter
best of luck let us know how he gets on or need any tips….bullying unfortantely happens in early years settings and most is put down to oh he/she had an off day etc etc, but it’s when it continues and the parents don’t take called for action it can continue onto primary school….so you are right watching him now and how he’s coping, unfortantely parents do think that it’s not needed for issues like this to be resolved and hard for the other parent to admit their child is being the bully but there is both sides one is your child being bullied and the otherthe child being a bully both are not nice situations to be in (bully is a harsh word but what more can you call it?)November 4, 2010 at 1:31 pm #103819MUMMY5Member
Agree with most of whats been said. I’m a childminder and after a break children can and do come back a little clingy and reluctant to say bye to mums or dads. It can be hard to get back into the routine of the mornings etc. when they have had a week off at home maybe. The children I mind are 1yrs old but they both would have been off over the break and would have spent more time with parents. They can cry or want to hold onto mum or dad when they are leaving but as I tell all parents, and it is so true nearly the majority of the time, they do settle down very quickly once the parent leaves. I have rung parents on occasssions if their child was upset when they left or sent them a pic just to reassure them they are okay, happy, smiling and playing away.
As you said there is an issue with one child then its so natural not to want to go back to where you think there might be some moments. We’d be the same ourselves if someone at work was giving us a little bit of a hard time, we’d dread going in the door in the morning. Hopefully, the preschool have it sorted now and will watch the interaction between the two of them a little more and encourage them to get on with each other. But children are children and they do have their off days, or their ‘its mine’ days or ‘I don’t like you’ days. Children can say things that are hurtful but its really how its dealt with by the caregiver as to how much it affects the children.
Hopefully it all settles down again for your son. I still ask my 7yr old what type of day he had at school and to give it a score out of 10. A 6 or 7 can mean someone annoyed him and it gives me an opportunity to ask why it was a 7 day. Simple, but it really works for me. Know he is younger but children won’t have ‘perfect’ days at preschool everyday…….they are so young and so sensitive. But once they know they can talk that is the most important thing….which your son did talk to you.November 4, 2010 at 8:53 pm #103859beamsMember
Great advice Mummy5 – especially rating your day…..wonder does that work on husbands too 😆 😆 😆
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