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Jamie Oliver gave his daughter chilli-rubbed apple slices after she misbehaved. Some people are criticising his choice of punishment.
is it too harsh? Is it a bit too mad? Or is it genius?
What do you think? and is there a better way to reprimand/punish (don’t really like the word punish tbh) your child?
When my children misbehave and drive me loopy, I get them to pair up all the socks in their sock drawers!! That usually takes them an hour or so and they are quite contrite and sorry by the end of all the hard work!
Works for us – what do you do???
I think there is no one size fits all approach. Different children are motivated by different things. My eldest is very thrifty and the threat of her losing part of her weekly pocket money is usually enough while middle child has to have TV time taken away and youngest has to go to her room on her own.
I much prefer chilli apple slice treatment over a slap to the head Irish style and a mouth full of expletives that I have seen personally in the shops on occassion!!!
I saw a woman, who I assume was the child’s mother, slap a small child of around 2 years of age across the face in a shop last year. I was horrified, I really wanted to intervene but thought I might get a slap myself if I said anything. It haunted me. The shock on that little face as she was walloped was a horrid thing to witness.
Slapping is wrong, wrong, wrong and it teaches our children that violence is the way to resolve conflict.
It really makes me sad when I see it.
For my kids, emptying out their sock drawers and making them pair all the socks up and tidying their rooms is usually effective at reprimanding and its constructive too.
anyone got any other ideas for reprimanding in clever ways?
Very strange form of punishment – could chilli burn a childs moutn?
Depends what they have been up to. Loss of pocket money if they refuse to do any chores, up to their room to calm down if they have been fighting, grounding if they have been really bold – they only works in good weather!
I read a book recently where they was no punishment as such more consequences. If you do not look after something, you do not get to use it again sort of thing. Asking your child to work out solutions that everyone is happy with. It expected a level of maturity that you will not get in small children. When they get tired and cranky and fall out – if one hits the other overthe top of the head with something, you really do need to send the abuser off to think about their crimes!! If the injured party sees them getting away with it, they will do the same the next time.
Personally I wouldn’t do this but then we all have to find what’s going to work for each of our children. The important thing is consistency…if we are not consistent then we are just making a rod for our backs!
Here’s some tips we give to participants on our Positive Parenting Skills Programmes!
Tips For Setting Boundaries
• Don’t be afraid to say NO (and stick to it)! No has to mean no, not “No, but nag me enough and I might change my mind”. There’s no point in trying to set boundaries for your children and then rolling back as it teaches them that actually when mum or dad say no, it doesn’t actually meanno.
• Be very clear what the boundary is. Sometimes we don’t make ourselves clear to our children. We may understand exactly what we expect of them but do not make it completely obvious to our children. “Don’t be home late” in your head could mean “Don’t be home after 10pm” but it could be “Don’t be home after 11pm” to our children. Being clear is so important and will go a long way to reducing opportunities for conflict.
• Manage your expectations of your child. As parents we can expect our children to “behave” and not do things wrong but we need to keep in mind that a child is only learning about the world and how to act in it. As parents it’s our job teach our children what’s okay and what’s not. Like us, they are not perfect, and making mistakes is part of learning.
• Make sure other adults are with you. It’s important for whatever adults are part of bringing up your children know and abide by the boundaries you set for your children. This prevents children from going to one parent and then to another adult asking for the same thing they’ve already been told ‘No’ about.
• Explain that consequences will happen if boundaries are broken. Try and be as clear as possible what the consequences are for breaking boundaries. Discuss these consequences with your children when you are not arguing and if they are old enough, they can be involved in deciding what the consequences should be, they’re usually harder on themselves than you would be!
• Remember, it’s your child’s job to push boundaries, it’s your job to keep them!
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