Isolated Mothers

[Missymay]

Hi, wondering if there are any mothers or mothers to be out there who are feeling isolated. I am 32 weeks pregnant and I have not been able to get out of the house for four months, although I am greatly improved and can now get out and about. hurrah

It’s my first child and I normally went to work commuted for ages and just came home again, so I did not get to know people in my area. I am not from this area ( Balbriggan) and in my confinement realised how lonely pregnancy can be for some people. I am worried that after the pregnancy I will feel the isolation even more ( esp as my three sisters and mother all experienced PND, who don’t keep contact either) so I am swallowing pride etc and asking if there are other mothers who feel isolated for whatever reason and want to make contact. Don’t worry it’s not to only talk about illness etc, unless people want to and I will participate with enthusiasm but its not my favourite subject But just to meet other mums and become part of a community. God, how grown up am I, this is such a long way from concerns i use to have

[Taylor5]

Missymay I know how you feel, I was very ill a few years ago and didnt know any of my neighbours, dh would leave the house early and home late, I was soo alone.
Being at home with a baby is a totally different experience (for the bettter, sorrry for typos as I havent got my glasses on) I suffer/suffered from pnd. I loved my time with ds as a baby not so much as a toddler 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆
A few of us go to Ardgillian or meet up for coffee mornings/playgroups, your very welcome to join us, plus you have online support so you should never feel lonely again, you’ll have plenty of online company……. you’ll feel much better once the baby is born

[Canucklass]

Hi again Missymay

I know how you feel. I am Canadian and my husband is English so we are a miles from anyone we know. My parents only just recently came to see me. We both worked in North Dublin and although I met a few girls through work I have felt an outsider and my dh feels the same.

Work mates are not really mates in the end in my opinion so when I was on mat leave and eventually didn’t go back my wee social circle dwindled to say the least. I have met some nice people through my dh’s work though.

I am not very happy living here I admit and have been going over to see my outlaws now and again because we have friends that I can visit with and get around alot easier without a car.

BUT after hitting an all time low in Nov/Dec I realised how withdrawn and shy I had become. I therefore made it my resolution to get out there. My dd is very social so I am riding on her coat tails. I have started to use mumstown more and jump into conversations to see what happens. It has been a big help!

Stick with this kid and you will be fine! I just met up with some lovely girls from here this morning too! 😉 😀

[joey_rudd]

I come from a big family but since i had my children it seems like they are all avoiding me, plus my friends don’t visit either
if i want to see anyone i have to go visit them which isn’t easy with 2 toddlers and a 3mth old baby and no car
i started to go to a mother toddler playgroup before christmas and its giving me a chance to meet other mothers to talk to and not feel like i’m going crazy and for my children to get to play with people their own age
its tough becoming a parent no matter if your used to children or not
but when you see you babys first smile, or hear them say they love you it just feels worth all the sleepless nights etc….
i was told i had pnd but i decided not to get any medication for it as antidepressants never worked on me, but i find that if i’m feeling alone and need a break i put the baby in a buggy and get my dh to mind the other two and i go for a walk
i wish you all the best and good luck 🙂

[Sweetpea]

Hi missymay,
You would be suprised how many of us one here have felt something similiar in one way or another over the last year or so. I gave up work to stay at home with my DD and while it was a shock to the system (and am still getting used to it) sometimes) it has been oh so rewarding also.
If you get the opportunity to make your way to any of the coffee mornings etc on here it will be well worth it. I have met some lovely mums and they are always on line for a chat too.
So dont be lonely and do drop by.
Looking forward to chattin 😀 😀
SP

[scole1]

hey missymay,

why not try starting to get out now while you are buggy free and start to get to know people, why not come to play group and see how you get on at least then you can make friends and also ask for advice if needed….also have pnd but really mumstown and going to playgroups have helped me get through it also the other fact is that other women too suffer and they can talk to you openly and there’s no shame…but why not try and step out you’ll be fine….positive thinking 😉

[Missymay]

Thanks everyone, I left the message here and ran away from the computer because bit embarrassed about the exposure, so I have just peeked at the messages now. Sorry to hear so many suffered from the PND its such a nasty problem.
I can cope now because even before I see the babys first smile even its kicking and squirming cheers me up no end, but cant wait to see its first smile etc. I will keep in mind the coffee mornings for when the baby is born, then again, might go before baby is born, hmm can I break out of my shy mode. Can you go toa coffee morning without the actual child in your arms.

[Taylor5]

Yeah, one of our playgroups is attended by a girl who doesnt have kids, she posts on hear as a local social network… anything goes and dont be shy or embarassed.

[scole1]

yeah of course you can no problem at all, we welcome all….so come on take the step you’ll be fine at least then if you have bab and need advice we can help also support ya too….

[Missymay]

Thanks again, its very encouraging, delighted I sent out my SOS call now, this new phase in life is very difficult, good to know there are veterans to learn from.

[Taylor5]

You will be learning new things for the rest of your life, my ds is 2.5 and its something new each day

[ciarac]

missy May, i know how you feel. I posted a nearly exactly SOS last nov!!! I haven’t got to meet anyone here yet, as I am living in Dundalk and its hard to work around nap times for dd and ds etc, but the girls here are lovely, always a listening ear around and hopefully i will get to meet someone. I hope you are doing well now, i was also off work sick when pregnant with dd and know how lonely it can be. I also had PND with her, and i know that locking yourself at home was my main problem, so if you made some new friends now it would really help you when babs is here. we are all here if you need us for a talk/meet up etc 🙂

[munchin]

i tooam a blow in and my dh is english and find it very lonely sometimes BUT i’ve meet a few girls here from time to time and it is really worth it to make the effort to go.
enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy

[Moonflower]

Hi Missymay, well done on sending out that SOS!! as many of us have said we have all been there in some form and it can be so lonely……if anyone is house bound either by having no car or not being able to get out for some reason…..it can be so much worse…..but also when you do go places and see friends together and you are always alone that can be very sad too….but its seems we have all been given a wonderful chance via Mumstown and with so many thanks to Kelly for setting it up to lift ourselves out of this and make new friends and shift the loneliness and isolation……

I have been to a few mumstown meets ups and can honestly say that everyone is lovely and very welcoming…..

Moonflower x

[Gismo]

Hi Missymay

I can relate to your problem 100%. When I was pregnant with ds I was housebond and wasn’t driving at the time. All my friends were in work during the day as was dh so my time was taken up with crappy day time tv and magazine’s. It is such a tough time and unless you have gone through it there is no way of explaining it to others.

I was the first of my friends to have a wee one and it was hard trying to chat about the problems of pregnancy and your worries etc. I wish mumstown had of been up and running then as I would have been on it all day long. NOw it is such a godsend and its great to chat to other mums and know that what you are going through can be related to by other mums.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and wishing you the best of luck.

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