I am so desperate

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    I despartely need help. I am sick of my husband who needs his time off on mothers day. Not that I care much for mothers day. But enough is enough. He is gone and I am here with the kids. I am sick at the same time and trying to make some dinner because he forgets. And I know I am serious, I went mad in front of the kids, with a knife in my hand. I just couldnt help it. We have no communications at all. I told him again and again that I am not happy here. Neighbors and what ever. And my child is now crying because she doesnt want to leave her dad. But its about time.

    So for now I know its over. I said that to him three times and he ignored it. We went to conceling and it didnt change much. I still have the feeling that he is living in the past.

    So for now I need your help.What would my next step be? He said it clearly he wont move out of the house. Its a councel house. I have no work, living on the sick payment at the moment. And I want to move instead then to Drogheda. But I am stuck, i would count as single mother I know. But would I get something in town? Would there be something like I can afford to pay? Sharing a house? Anything?

    Thanks for listing. And sorry for being so confused.



    so sorry to hear you’re having a rough time, if you need an ear pm me….


    You sound sick and tired of your situation. Nobody can tell you what to do but maybe some time apart could help. I know this is difficult with children but it may be what you both need to see things clearer. Good luck, will be thinking of you.X


    H Zarrambar,

    Sorry to hear about your troubles. I am sorry but i don’t know what to say to help you but please see the information below, maybe one of these groups would be able to help you or even give you some advise. Please ring them as you do need help.

    Dawn (Drogheda Area Women’s Network) (041) 9844131Rope Walk
    Magdelene Street
    Fax: (041) 9844142
    E-Mail: dawn@iolfree.ie
    This women’s group provides an information/education service to women. It offers a buddy service for women attending doctor visits, court sittings etc. Education/computer courses are available.
    This service is open to all women in the community.

    Lone Parents Group (042) 9386704
    Le Cheile
    Community Dev. Project
    “The House”
    Oakland Park,
    E-Mail: lecheilecdp@hotmail.com
    This group offers support and information to both men and women.

    Women’s Aid (042) 9333245P.O. Box 60
    Fax: (042) 9328663
    E-Mail: womensaiddlk@eircom.net
    Women’s Aid is a voluntary organisation which provides support and information to women and their children who are being physically, emotionally and sexually abused in their own homes

    Women’s Refuge – Drogheda (041) 9844550
    PO BOX 81
    West Street
    Fax: (041) 9844550
    E-Mail: dwr@eircom.net

    Drogheda Women’s Refuge is a voluntary organisation which provides a refuge – “safe house” – for women and their children who are victims of domestic violence.
    This is a confidential service and is provided 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    Samaritans – Drogheda (041) 9843844 LoCall 1850609090The Samaritans offer a non-judgemental listening ear to people who are contemplating suicide or who are facing difficulties in their life.


    Thank you very much, MaryE. I will do that and see what they say.

    My decision is final so I have to do something as quick as possible.

    Thanks again


    not being insensitive but did no one read that that woman went mad in front of her kids with a knife…..hello……..kids need the help here


    No i dont think the kids do need help.

    i think that Lady has made the best choice she could, she was so outraged at her husband that she lost it for a second, she did not do anything with the knife, she just had it in her hand.
    she knew then that this was serious that she has too leave him if he is pushing her to the point that she would do that in front of her kids and is taken the correct steps towards getting away from the man who makes her so unhappy.

    i think the kids are lucky to have her as a mam, she knows that shes unhappy with her husband, but instead of staying with him for the sake of the children and being miserable, she is getting away from him and will be alot better off andso will her children when mammy is finally happy again!!

    I think ur doing a great thing Amy getting away from him, as u know.
    Keep up the good work and look after yourself!!



    I agree, she realised she was a women on the edge and she knows its not her fault that its her husbands. The best thing she can do is go and not stay and put up with it. In my opinion thats the best thing any mother can do for themselves and her kids.
    Its easier to walk away when you are not married and I suppose if you are, you try everything tomake it work and keep giving second chances. But you have to draw a line under the relationship if your doing all the trying all the time hun. Whatever decision you make im sure there is hundreds of women on this website who are in your shoes but are too embarrassed to post. You have had loads of views and a handful of responses to your mail.Typical, people always shy away and prefer to turn a blind eye to domestic voilence or mental,emotional abuse. Fair play to ya for asking for help. Stay positive and chin up.


    Awww, thank you so much for standing up to me. Its helps a great deal. I wasnt online for the last few days so I couldnt defend myself.

    We are sorting everything out at the moment, my partner and me. And it seems to go well. He is willing to move out and we can still do the best for the kids but not see each other every time.

    Still, my mum in law (or ex) doesnt want to see it this way. She paid me a visit yesterday and claims that I am not able to look after the kids on my own and kind of wanted to take them of me. And I have to say, thank god, my ex stood up for me!



    Hi Amy,

    glad to hear things are getting a bit easier for u! dont mind that wagon of a MIL.. they are all the same!! at least ur ex knows and is man enough to admit it instead of slating you.
    even still, without a shadow of a doubt it is obvious that u are a wonderful mum for doing what ur doing to give ur children a great childhood. now they will get happy times with mammy and happy times with daddy, and more importantly a happy mammy!!

    i admire ur strenght!

    Talk soon,


    It must have taken a lot of strength and courage to post what you did Zaraambar. i am so glad that things are working out now and you have the backing of your ex against your MIL. How can your MIL even suggest taking children away from a mother who obviously loves and cares for them. I am sure times will still be tough but at least now you know you have the strength to fight. Best of luck xx


    i couldn’t just read and leave. Honey good for you, it does take alot to stand up and face your problems and even more courage to do something about it. Be strong and know your working towards a better day tomorrow. For you and your kids. No women should submitt to a man who makes her feel awful even worse when its the father of her children.! As for you MIL she doesn’t need to have a say in this dilemma, tell her to bugger off. It’s between you and Ex to be.

    Good luck and take care. 😉

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