How to help dd with worry

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  • #15891
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am not sure how to deal with dd (9) she had a very very minor run in with the teacher the other day and it has upset her desperately.

    She is always very diligent at school and is never in trouble and always adored by the teacher ( from parents evening consultaions) but the other day he thought she wasnt’ listening and was made to stand up.

    I know it sounds like nothing but she was almost sick coming out with the worry..I reassured her all would be ok the next day etc etc but feck me what happened he pulled her up again over something or nothing…so yesterday for 6 hours I was comforting her and going over the same questions over and over agian.

    To be honest I don’t feel there is a problem with the teacher as I tried to explain he’s only doing his job but she is SO sensitive I don’t know how to deal with it.

    She said she felt sick and had tears in her eyes all day after what happened and she almost collapsed in to my arms coming out…

    She is very poor at taking any critism and this is where the problems lie I think.

    I talked and soothed till I was blue in the face yesterday and she was breaking my heart with her crying but she wasn’t taking on board what I said.

    The major things in life she is able to deal with extremely well but these piddling trifling things are a major disaster in her eyes…

    ( btw her mum is just the same!!!! But i’m not 9 and can manage my neurosis!!!!)

    #127630
    Yvonne
    Member

    Oh God love her..

    My own DD would be a sensitive so and so too and its very hard to know what to say that will help them feel better.

    Maybe have a word with the teacher and find out why its happening especially as its upsetting her so much.

    Hope you get it sorted.

    #127634
    Jedt
    Member

    Ah the poor little lamb, its not easy when they get like that. Have a chat with the teacher and explain things to him.

    Ideally, it would be good to try to find a way to get her to worry less about what people think of her. How is her confidence aside from these incidents?

    Could she be worried about the baby and not saying it to you? That could be stressing her.

    When our daughter was going through a rough time and her confidence was low, we enrolled her into drama classes and that helped her. We send her to Sinead Lightley Dance Theatre. Sinead does alot of work on their self esteem and it has helped our daughter alot. Might be something to look into?

    HTH and try not to worry too much yourself at the moment. x

    #127639
    happymumblemum
    Participant

    She is an extremely confident child and doesn’t care really about what people think but she’s always desperate to please teachers but cannot take Critism !!!

    I don’t know what to say going in there… Oh don’t speak to my daughter unless you’re lavishing praise on her????
    Sitting here outside school I hope to god all has been well.

    This is only the 4th time ever she’s been upset her whole school life.. Each time has been when her work has been critised or she’s been "wrongly" accused!

    It’s gonna be tough in secondary.

    I feel her pain I would crap myself going to work if there’s been a problem the night before! I’m such a sap… But I can stand up and brush myself down after major disaster but even a cross word with a friend and I’ll be a nervous wreck!

    Re the baby no I think she’s ok , only worried about not getting as much money spent on her!

    #127644
    Jedt
    Member

    Its a tough one if she is normally confident.

    So many of us worry about the little things though, so she is not on her own there – just hope she can find a way to not worry so much about getting criticism, unfortunately its a part of life for us all and we have to take it on at times.

    Maybe there is a way the teacher can give her feedback that is in a more positive way? was it the way he said it to her that upset her or that he said it at all?

    #127650
    happymumblemum
    Participant

    Both Sabbi !

    But all was well today and she’s happy as Larry again!

    #127651
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Happy child = Happy mammy so thats good for you all. xx

    #127654
    rossylisa
    Member

    My own daughter is like this. If she forgot a book in school there is panic stations and tears until she gets a lone of one from a friend. Not like her mammy that never did any home work 😉

    #127655
    MaryE
    Member

    Glad she is feeling happier.

    My ds is so very sensitive too. Hates when anyone is annoyed with him. He got in trouble in school & was so upset. It took me nearly two days too get it out of him what was wrong, he was so upset, didnt want to go to school at all. Turns out he was chasing some senior infant (he is only a junior infanct) & while running tripped up, fell on top of the older guy and scrapped the childs face. Anyway it was a pure accident but he got told off.

    Anyway after i eventually got it out of him and a very long discussion with ds, i reassured him that i believed him it was an accident, he didnt mean to hurt the other child, that we were not angry with him at all & not too worry everyone gets in trouble sometimes, even me when i was a child. And that i thought it wasnt fair that he got into trouble when it was an accident. Anyway, once someone was on his side, he got over it.

    Its hard going though when they are upset, we as mothers just want to make everything better.

    #127657
    munchin
    Participant

    yep tis hard alright – Glad to hear she’s happier today

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