Gender disappointment

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  • #18457

    mayella6
    Member

    I am due my first in April, and was convinced I was having a girl. Me and mum were looking forward to dressing her up, and playing with dolls, mother and daughter relationship etc. I found out I am having a boy and am a bit sad. Am I silly to be sad? What are the pros of having a boy?

    Thanks

    #135271

    Katypie
    Participant

    wow I am actually surprised someone would admit this but to be honest, id probably be the same

    i don’t have any kids yet but am planning to have a good few and i adore spending time with my nephews and nieces but if im honest, i love spending time painting my nieces nails and doing their hair and being girly so i think id love a girl myself. maybe more than 1!!

    but im sure as soon as you see your baby you’ll be mad about him and love him so much

    so long as hes healtyh thats main thing

    #135273

    Jedt
    Participant

    Hmm….its a strange one. On the one hand you may a bit disappointed now bit when he arrives, I’ll bet you won’t care one bit.

    A baby is such a gift, such a blessing, that once he arrives healthy and well and you are both ok, I’d say you’ll forget all about this.

    We have a son, he was born first and its great because he looks out for his little sisters.

    I also thought I was having a girl on my first pregnancy and when he was born and it was a boy, I was so shocked!! But I got over that fairly quickly. Once I looked at his little face I was in love and that was that.

    For us, it was nice having the boy first, he’s a great bit brother and helps me alot around the house etc.

    Congrats on your pregnancy, hope everything goes well for you!

    Have you thought of any names yet?

    Check out Mothecare and Next clothes for baby boys; that will make you feel good about how cute you can dress him up!! They have such gorgeous stuff for boys.

    #135257

    scole1
    Member

    I have two boys on my first I really didn’t care what I was having as long as it was okay. His birth was wonderful I had a water birth however things ended up bad for me afterwards horrific time afterwards I had 3rd degree tear and had to have bowel surgery afterwards. When I woke after surgery I was told never to have any more kids I was only 24 at the time. I was devastated. However after a long recovery I decided to hell with it I would have another. The second time I prayed for girl as I felt it would make our family complete one boy one girl. I had a 3d scan the pregnancy was totally different it was difficult to carry the pain was bad down below the pressure was immense. I was convinced it was a girl. But it was a boy I was a little bit upset it wasn’t a girl but the baby was fine and my second and last son arrived. I had a c section and it was a great recovery. Though I longed for a girl my baby was healthy I was fine and that’s all that mattered. I’ve been asked if I would still go again for a girl and I can honestly say no I and quite content with two boys and I would not change it for the world. I had feared that they would be all into sport I would have nothing in common with them however they have the balance of both my interests and my husbands and I feel just as connected with them both as I would be if they were girls.
    Boys are different yet just as much as a blessing and a joy that girls are. My boys still as little babies toddlers and preschoolers played with dolls kitchens and we have cuddles and love just like you would with a girl. My youngest is very much a softie he has the wildness of a boy big into superheroes football dressing up yet he has a gentle side. He is very nurturing towards small.kids loves to paint nails with me play make up and have spa days. My eldest is creative emotional at times you would swear he was a girl (they all are) he is attentive to others feelings and loves musicals (my love of musicals we both share) as well as being very much a boy mad into lego stars wars science and the likes. I think at the end of the day your child will be who you allow them to be. Just because it’s a boy doesn’t mean you can’t have those special mommy times with him. He will love you unconditionally you can nurture both his wild and gentle side. I don’t think gender comes into play. Boys are full of energy love and wonder just the same as girls so in reality I shouldn’t matter what you have as long as you love them with all your heart as I know your child willlove you with all of his.
    They say boys wreak your house where girls wreak your head. Well I think both boys and girls do both. So enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and when your son arrives enjoy him even more he will make your heart flutter in a way you never imagined.

    #135308

    ed1
    Participant

    Any feelings of disappointed you may have now will disappear when you hold that little baby in your arms for the first time.

    Before I ever had kids I always said I would love a girl. On my first pregnancy I was totally and utterly convinced that I was having a girl and had only girls names and no boys names. Turns out my baby was a boy. I fell in love with him instantly and any thoughts of a girl disappeared. Second time round and I carried differently and had a totally different pregnancy so everyone else said you are definitely having a girl this time. I didn’t and had another lovely little boy. My boys are now 16 and 13 and are still great friends (when they are not killing each other) and I wouldn’t change it for theworld.

    #135310

    Anonymous

    As a mum who’s baby was born very sick and spent the first month of her life in hospital having surgery and intensive care to keep her alive i promise you that once your baby comes out healthy and happy you will love them with all your heart- gender really doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things.

    What are your partners thoughts on the matter?

    #135311

    Denise91
    Participant

    My sister lost 2 babies so I think it does not matter if they are boys or girls. when the baby comes, you will just love him so much you wont care. as long as baby is healthy thats main thing.

    #135314

    Jedt
    Participant

    Im sure you’ve probably gotten some stick for this topic from family and friends and maybe online too but you know, I think you are very brave to admit how you are feeling.

    Some women will give out and say you should be grateful for what you are getting and that you are lucky to be having a baby and to be pregnant in the first place and that you should be grateful end of story…..

    But, I think its important to talk about how you feel and share your worries and concerns and this is just wbat you are doing. You are just talking about how you are feeling and that, in my opinion, is to be encouraged

    Mumstown is a safe place for you to do that. I hope some of the replies here have been helpful to you.

    How are you feeling about everything now?

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