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Hi All,
Just a word of warning regarding fostering! I spent a year from the time of my application waiting to be assesed and approved for fostering with the 3 hour long visits etc. Made me think they were really fussy about the whole thing. Turned out this was not the case and after fostering 5 children we dropped out as we realised the system was extremely flawed to the detriment of the children involved. Social workers are over-burdened with kids. We even had a 2 year old come to us for respite (4 days) from another foster mother and she was traumatised. When she screamed at night she wasn’t even aware who she should scream for any more! SWorkers told us we would meet her before she came to stay but as with everything else they promised re other kids….it never happened. They don’t care about the kids feelings at all…they don’t have time to. Other kids came while their junkie parents had time off to get high again. Then the kids got beaten up when they went home and dropped off at us for an ’emergency’ two nights and when that was up we were asked to keep them….they had nowhere else to put them…a horrible vicous circle. These kids are NOT happy to come to your house. They are totally messed around by an uncaring system. If you complain you will be asked ifyou are not happy with the money, "after all" as if you were only intrested in money. Irish fostering system is a mess and seems only desinged for those people that are only interested in the money.
If you do go ahead…get a contract for each child the day they arrive…otherwise you will be walked over with emotional blackmail and every other trick in the book!!!!!That sounds terrible, but i have heard those stories before from friends who work in the child care system. Stories of kids being taken out of their care home and sent to junkie parents for the xmas, only for the parents to get high and dump the kids back on the doorstep of carehome at 11pm on xmas night!!!!
Like anything in this country they cant get the system right, think the HSE have alot to answer for
Lets hope sunshineorla can use this information and protect herself and the kids involvedoh thats so sad and has just made m feel physically sick that these poor children are so traumatised & so neglected by the system…i have heard social workers are so overworked & frustrated by the system that they themselves become ill…so who is to blame??? the HSE???
thats a terrible story to read & i am sure its not just an exception but i am also sure that not all cases are as extreme..but its definately something to be thought about….
Well we got approved and got a baby girl last week. She is a tiny wee thing. Only 9lb. She is a few months old. She is doing well. The massage and reiki are definitely helping.
Have to say havent heard too much from the social workers since we got her. I suppose you just have to get on with it.
They are definitely very overworked and I suppose its hard for them to get emotionally involved with the kids. That would make it impossible to work the job.
Thanks for the great feedback it definitely wont be easy. Access is probably one of the hardest parts and I suppose we wont always agree with the decisions made for the kids but we just have to make the best of every situation. I’m sure there will be tears and heartbreak. We just have to focus on the good bits even if its only a short involvement in a childs life. Right or wrong the focus is about keeping kids with their parents. All we can do is give them as much love and stability and fun for the time they are here. What else can you do? Give me a few months I’ll probably be back on here giving out hell 😀
I’ll keep ya apdated. 😀Little miss is with us 6 weeks now. Took a little while for us all to settle with the new regime but its definitely all falling into place now. She has had significant weight gain and is defo a lot happier in herself. Things are going well. She had regular visits with family and I am getting along very well with them too. Everyone says to me it’ll be really hard to give her back but I still feel the same way, I’ll prob have a cry about it and on to the next one. When you know you only have them short term it’s different than if you thought you might have them long term. I feel like a full time childminder I suppose there is attachment but you knowing you are going to be handing them back ultimately. We are definitely happy we have given it a go and in reality I am sure they are starting us off easy.
Our Ds has been brilliant and is so good with her and practically no jealousy, we are very proud of him. I’m sure he will be wondering where she went when she goes home. That’ll be another days work 😀
All happy for now!!!A neighbour of my mother fosters kids, she has a baby Alex for the past 18months, mam bumped into her the other day minus the buggy and asked were Alex was, she burst out crying saying they came and took him with only a days notice, her oldest daughter is away in Spain and never got to say goodbye and thats what has her upset this time….. but other times she just has them and gives them back, with a little few tears but this time she is heartbroken.
She looks as it as a bonus start in life for her foster kids, she gives them love and then sends them on their way in hope that the love they got from her will be remembered and build them a good Adults etc…. she looks at the bigger picture and its all for the good of the kids xxxxxx
I admire you and other foster parents out there, keep up the good work
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