Desperate for another baby

[Efioa]

Hi all,

I just wanted to see if anyone has any advice for me. I am very lucky to have been blessed with 3 happy healthy children and very happily married to a wonderful husband. Over the last two years I am aching for another baby. It is on my mind constantly, I literally think about it morning noon and night. My husband and I have spoken many times on the subject and he is very happy with our family as we are and doesn’t want another baby. He knows how I feel and how much I would love another but I would never try to coerce, convince or trick him as having a baby is a huge decision that should be made together as a team. All this being said I am filled with sadness as I just can’t get past the fact that I will never have another baby, it consumes my thoughts and I regularly get upset and cry about it.
I am eternally grateful for my beautiful family and I know some may think me greedy as so many others haven’t been blessed as we have however this doesn’t change how I feel.
I am asking for advice on how I should come to terms with this, I feel like I can’t move on.

[Sabbi]

Oh I feel for you. I think I know how you feel. We had 3 lovely children and a happy marriage but I felt like something was missing and I really wanted another baby. My Mam thought I was mad to even think about having another baby but my womb felt like it was literally aching with the want for baby number 4. My husband was happy with 3 and we were kind of resolved that we were done but that yearning kept coming back to me. There was only 2 years between my fist and second baby and third baby and after 3 years had passed I thought we were probably finished but then, I got pregnant and I was surprised and delighted. Sadly, we lost the baby at 10 weeks and my husband may have been content to leave things as they were but the miscarriage only made me more broody.

I told him how I was feeling, that I desperately wanted another baby, that I felt like part of our family was missing and he agreed that we could try and see how things went. After the miscarriage, my periods were irregular so I went for acupuncture and within a few months I was pregnant.

I was ecstatic, I had told my husband how much it meant to me and he was happy once we got the 2 blue lines on the stick. The pregnancy was great and I had a home birth which went really well. We had the baby during the night, my waters broke at 2.20am and she was born at 4.39am, on our bed, in our room. My husband held my hand and supported me the whole way through and honestly, it made us even closer as a couple.

I think that if I hadn’t pushed a little and really explained to him how much I wanted another baby, then she may not be here at all.

Can you talk to you husband and explain exactly how you are feeling? How much you think about it and what it would mean to you to have another baby? I think the broodiness affects women differently than men so sometimes we need to literally tell them how much we want another baby.

I’m not sure if this is helpful at all – I hope you guys can work out whats best for you all and be happy with whatever decision you make.

If you do decide not to go ahead and try for another baby, maybe try picking up a hobby or something to keep you distracted. I know 3 kids will keep you busy 24/7 but it might be good for you to have something else to focus on to give you a project to keep your mind off things. If you want to be super distracted, a puppy is the way to go. That will keep you on your toes!!!

HTH a little. Keep us posted on how things are. Its good to get things off your chest and talk about how you’re feeling and this is a good place to do that.

sending virtual hugs. x

[hotmama]

How are you getting on efioa? Have you talked things through with your husband? have you come up with any plans that might make you feel a bit better?

[RaRa]

did you decide what to do? did you make peace with the decision? hope you are ok. i know what its like to long for something really badly, hope things work out best way for you all

[Sabbi]

How are you dong efoia?

[Author]

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