depression and the stigma attached to it

[Anonymous]

ok so i’ve been dealing with depression since around the age of 12 and i still don’t like talking about having it to anyone because i feel like they don’t see it as a big deal and that i should just get over it all
easier said than done…..
why is it that with all the media attention towards getting help with depression people are still afraid or hesitant to ask for help

i’ve tried numerous meds butnone helped they just numbed everything and i can’t talk about things even with my husband so i don’t know what to do about it anymore
i’m just about coping now but thats because of the kids and i have to get up every morning and make sure they get everything they need
i’m just afraid of going back to talk to my doctor again because i’m finding it difficult to explain why i’m feeling this way…..sorry if this is the wrong place to post

[chewieodie]

Aw Joey…. 🙁 Thats the problem with depression…. we don’t know why we feel that way, we just do….

Sometimes medication is the answer…. but perhaps the type / quantity of medication isn’t the right fit for you. And perhaps you need to actually talk to someone more on the psychologist route who could help you, as opposed to GP?

Through different circumstances / events…. I too landed up on anti-depressants. But being the control freak that I am…. I also couldn’t handle the "walking around in a bubble" feeling…. I’m too much of a control freak. So, I landed up seeing a psychologist, who had brain enough to see right through me. I had seen folk in the past who I had been able to walk over / fool into believing that I was totally on board with everything they were saying. Whereas this chap basically knew how to deal with me…. Think Good Will Hunting… 😉 Through different methods, we made it through…. and I saw the other side…. 😉

Perhaps you need to investigate some other options? I’m here if you need to chat… 🙂 Either on here, or pm me….

*** hugs ***

[joeyrudd]

thanks chewieodie

[Taylor5]

joey i havent time to post but i will post later…

[Anonymous]

Hi Joey,i 100% agree with you about the stigma with depression,i think people just dont understand & then they say stupid things like "just cheer up" or "pull yourself together" as if it was as easy as that.

Depression affects a huge percentage of our population yet it is brushed under the carpet so to speak.

I think like you that tablets dont suit everyone & sometimes talking to a professional can help as you can use them as your sounding board.

have you ever tried counselling?.Do you know if it was something that happened in your life that triggered your depression so young?.maybe if you tried to talk it though it might help release some of the pain?.

take care of yourself & all of us on mumstown are here for you if you want to talk xx

[MaryE]

Hi Joey,

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. Glad that you’ve taken the first step & admitted it & opened up, even if its just to us. Depression is a tricky one. Unfortunately, i have a good bit of experience of it thorough family members.

I don’t really know where to start as I’ve so may thoughts about depression. Some good & understating & some not so good, where i really do want to tell some people to "Shake themselves" because some people just love being sick (not saying that is you at all Joey, i have just found that).

This time of the year is particularly bad for depression, nights getting dark & Christmas stress & money pressures are triggers. That’s one of the reasons that I’m not a huge Christmas fan because every other Christmas there seems to be problems within people i know, all to do with depression.

To be honest, it really depends whats causing your depression. You probably know all this & I’m no doctor, but i have found that someone starts off to be sad about something, over thinking about it causes a chemical imbalance, so then they need medication to correct that balance but they also must have counseling to deal with the original sad issue. To start feeling better you may need to start talking. Talking to a stranger is always best. If the councilor is any good, they will get to the root of the problem, even if you dont know whats causing your sadness.

Aware are fantastic, they run classes & workshops and are great on the phone, I’ve rang them for advice before & they couldn’t be more helpful. You can email them to. They are doing a "Aware’s Life Skills Programme" at the moment, which is suppose to help people deal with depression, it might be worth looking into.

I personally find writing things down, get things off my chest. Maybe start a diary & just write your feelings down & you might work out whats casing the saddness or what triggers it. As a mother, i would also say that you could probably do with a hobby away from the house & children & family, something you go to once a week on your own. A walk alone can do wonders for the spirit.

At the end of the day, you have to help you. There is no quick fix to depression. No body can do it for you, so please go to your gp, tell him that you cant talk to him & that you need to be referred to a councilor. Maybe go to a local aware group meeting, you dont have to say anything if you dont want to but you might learn a few tricks to help you cope.

Good luck.

[joeyrudd]

yes i have tried talking to a few counsellor’s but i just couldn’t talk to them and thats the problem…maybe if i tried another one i might find the right one to help but i’m afraid to go and ask for help because i have it in my head that i’m annoying people, i know its their job but i feel like there are so many people waiting for help that i’d be taking up a place that someone worse off could use….its my logic
and yes i know why i had depression at such a young age but not going into it.
at the momenti’m not talking to anyone i just get whatever i need done and everything else i don’t care about…..if i don’t sort it out i’ll explode at some point and i really don’t want that to happen….thanks for replying and letting me ramble

i did spend the whole day 2 weeks ago texting the samaritians and they were great they said pretty much the same as you all too
i’ll wait till monday when i drop the little one to creche and go talk to my gp again

[MaryE]

Joeyrudd, you are just as important as anyone else, you need help now & you deserve it, please dont be afraid, you are brave looking for the help, please go to the gp, you wont be annoying anyone, seriously if you dont deal with it now, it will not get better & that wont be good for you or your kids. Sorry dont mean to emotionally blackmail you but if you dont want to get help for yourself, get it for your children. Dont let it build up & then come Christmas season it all just gets too much & you explode, ive seen it happen.

Dont mean to sound so bossy but please, please, please go to GP.

Ramble anytime.

[joeyrudd]

i know i need to get help because the kids are getting older and starting to notice that mammy isn’t happy and bless them they keep saying they are looking after me and i don’t want them to think they have to look after me
i never want them to go through what i did…i need to get better for them and myself too

[Anonymous]

Joey I totally agree with Mary,YOU are important,it sounds like you have just been unlucky with not finding the right gp/councellor to talk to.once you find the right one you may find that the weight on your shoulders lifts a bit & more & more as time goes on,please get help asap

[chewieodie]

Joey…. I’m with MaryE on this one….. 🙂 Don’t leave it…. I’ve seen the results firsthand of someone who didn’t deal with it…. and the devastation left behind…. 🙁

Ask for a referral… you need to talk to someone who "fits" with you…. where you feel safe and able to talk.

Please don’t leave it….x

[chewieodie]

Haileysmum…. we must have been typing at the same time! 😉

[joeyrudd]

so far i’ve been trying to ignore it which hasn’t turned out good

so thank you all for the advice, i’m going to go see my gp next week and see what he says

[chewieodie]

You do realise that we are all going to be over you like a bad rash? Making sure you do it? xxx

[Jedt]

Please go to your doctor asap. Depression is an illness, if you were feeling physically ill in any way, like if you had a virus, a lump, a migraine or a sore back you would go to the doctor for treatment, and I think that depression can be just as dangerous as a physical illness so you need to go see your doc asap. If untreated, it can spiral out of control and be devastating.

I think there is far less stigma nowadays than there used to be so please don’t worry about what ‘people think’. We all have difficulties in these difficult times and now more than ever there are so many people I know being diagnosed with depression. Even some who are not prone to depression usually have been diagnosed with it and need to be treated and looked after until they get better. I tihnk if you are prone to it and have experienced it before, then you need to be seen even more so than someone who is not.

I am reading Marian Keyes latest book at the moment and she writes with such honesty and clarity about depression and even though the book is funny at times, it is really excellent in how she opens up about her main characters struggle with depression. It is surprising the depths of despair this women sinks to in her struggle but I think for someone like Marian Keyes to be writing about it, brings the topic even more out into the open and that can only be a good thing, as it opens conversations about it. She has suffered with it herself, so its probably a bit of her own experience she is writing about too. Might be worth a read when you are feeling a bit better.

Please please just even just call them today and have a chat about how you are feeling and see if they can squeeze you in earlier than next week? Please don’t leave it until next week, just make the call and talk to someone professional about how you are feeling. Imagine if one of your children was sick – you would have them at the doc straight away so look after yourself the same way you would them.

Please let us know how you get onand come on here anytime you need some support or a shoulder, you are not on your own. x

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