January 21, 2010 at 9:06 am #6686
There is alot of controversy at maternity units at the moment where dads are not being allowed in…..
Seems worst in Drogheda and Cork.
Anyone got an updates on this? Its awful when your husband/partner is not allowed be with you during labour, it happened to me and it was horrendous.
If anyone has a story to share, please do so and we can get local TD’s to look into it and get some media coverage about it to make sure it stops.
At a time when you need your husband/partner most, it is unacceptable to be forced to be without themJanuary 21, 2010 at 9:55 am #86758
I don’t understand this either….my brother is due his baby on 21st feb and really really wants to be there the whole way but seemingly he cant go in until she is in her last throws of labour where someone will ring him and then he is allowed in!!!! If he is allowed in at some point then why cant he be there through the whole labour???
There are people coming in and out of the hospital all the time, if someone is going to catch the c-diff then they will catch it be it at the least legs of the labour or being there throughout!!!
I understand not letting visitors in but to not let dads in well I think its just madness.January 21, 2010 at 3:17 pm #86795YvonneMember
Thats crazy! I would have went mad if DH wasn’t allowed in when I was in labour….
Yummy, you are right though, if he is allowed in at some point, why not for all of it… there is just a high risk with the person in labour coming in surely…January 21, 2010 at 3:41 pm #86799crazimamaMember
Thats ridiculous you need your husband the most at this time. My husband was always allowed in no matter what time of day or night. 😡January 21, 2010 at 4:36 pm #86804
Yummy – have they actually said that to your brother? Thats absolute madness. He must be furious, and his wife, how is she supposed to cope without her birthing partner? Its really not on.
I am thinking of writing an article about this for the paper, if your brother or anyone else who has been or is being affected by this wants me to try to raise this issue in the media, please PM me.
This is really ticking me off and I’m not even preggers!!January 21, 2010 at 6:20 pm #86807hjsMember
I am agog, and ladies u know that’s a rarity!
Now I have a lot of time for Ireland and many things Irish having escaped 30 yrs of UK nanny state by coming here, but I tell you what, if ANYONE even raised the pospect of dads being excluded from any stage of labour over there – even little old ladies with athritis and 40 shopping bags in vandalised bus stops would be falling over themselves to take whoever suggested such a thing to EC of HR, it’s unthinkable…
I am at a loss to know where to begin understanding that this may even be breathed of, never mind be an actual practice in some places, as it seems. Is this a third world attitude in a totally "other world" country, or am I being unkind there – to third world nations?!?January 21, 2010 at 7:32 pm #86821
The word is that its due to a bug in the hospitals that they don’t want to spread but it still does not make sense. The dads can come in towards the end of labour, so why not for the whole lot, they are coming in one way or another so they should be there from the start.
Even if they have to wear gloves and a gown, this should not be happening.
I’ve been in labour without my husband and it is not nice, you need support and its crazy for them to take that away from mums to be….
I’m doing some more investigating on this and will let ye know if I find out anymore.January 21, 2010 at 7:46 pm #86823jasmineMember
We went through what yummymummys brother was told. when i was in hospital to have my first i was induced at 11pm and at midnight husband was told to go home and that when i went into labour they would phone him. they did not phone him until i was in the delivery suite which at this stage most of the labour was over. i could have done with him there earlier.
jasmineJanuary 21, 2010 at 9:53 pm #86831newmommaMember
Hi, I was in the Rotunda a couple of weeks ago for the weekend and it was the same – the dads were only rang when the women were brought to the labour ward. (Here it was for swine flu). My dp was sent home when we got to the pre-natal ward as I wasn’t in established labour just with other pains. In fairness to the staff if they thought the women were anywhere near labour they didn’t send the dads away. In some cases it has to be a judgement call I think as the wards can not be full of dads overnight when otherwomen are trying to sleep. During the day the dads were allowed in all day but there was no other visitors allowed even your own children.January 23, 2010 at 1:19 pm #86934
My brother is rightly pissed off and has said he ist going to leave her on her own he doesnt care what they say, dunno how that will go down but I hope he can stay with her, she is 25 and its their first baby, no way would I fancy doing it alone I feel soooo sorry for them!!!January 24, 2010 at 10:57 pm #86985HappymammyMember
My sis just had her baby there last Saturday, wow what a disaster. After being already 10 days overdue, she went into the hosptal the saturday about 5am after staying at home with me as long as possible, her contractions where 3mins apart and where very hard and fast, anyway, off they went to the hospital and brought to the labor ward, within an hour they where sent home (from Drogheda to Duleek) and she was told to sleep and take panadol!!!! 🙄 I mean cmon! 3mins apart, it was clear she wasnt dialating herself and she was in agony, ok at 7am off they went back to the hospital and she was getting them a min apart, still only 2cm’s dilated. They gave her petidine, and told her partner to go home and they put her up on the antenatel ward with a load of other women in labor. Basically i went ballistic, she was now 12 hours in full labor and not dialated and it was obvious they would have to break her waters for her to get her on her way, All the time she was on her own because no partners are allowed on the wards. It was plainly obvious to me they where just delaying her labor. At 6pm her partner was allowed up to the hospital she was on the phone throught the day in tears because she was going threw this frightening and painful experience on her own! they took her to the labor ward at 6pm, she was begging for the epidural all day but they left her because her waters hadnt broke yet, ive had two babies and i know all they had to do was break them for her that morning when she went in!!!, so she got the epidural at 8pm and they broke her waters 12 hours after going into hospital. They had left her that long the baby was totally stressed out as was she and they had to emergency section her at 10:35pm the babys heartbeat kept dropping,they where absolutely distraught, baby jack arrived fit and healthy. I cant help but feel they where cheated out of having a (sort of ) enjoyable memorable first birthing experience, my second daughter arrived into this world after i had the perfect labor, I went into the hospital, only 1cm dilated they broke my waters, when i was 3cm i had the epidural and then just waited for the nod to push, no stitches, I enjoyed every minute of her birth, yes i had pain and the usual contractions but nothing compared to what my poor sis went threw. I think the staff are fantastic in the Lourdes they do their best, but those women are left in a que on the ward an offered petidine etc to hold them off , well thats how it felt to me, she obviously thought this was all normal but after giving birth twice i know differently, i dont know how to fix it or change it, but something as to give soon 👿January 26, 2010 at 1:44 am #87089meathmamofourMember
On my first baby (dublin) I was separated from my husband in labour and in the fetal assessment ward. It has stayed with me always and I found it a very traumatising experience. He was forced to leave at the time I needed him most.
I think its sad that this has become the case at OLOL as I had found them exceptional in the past in terms of their policy for allowing more than one support person for labouring women.
MÃ©abh was born just before Christmas so the Cdiff policies affected our ante natal care.
I was fortunate enough to arrive into OLOL in labour at 9cm…so dh could stay with me for the remainder of the time we were in the delivery suite. HOwever, I have heard women in ‘early’ labout cannot have partners with them until they get into established labour which can be very distressing for women and their partners who don’t want to leave them.
I found it very difficult being told that my husband could not attend antenatal appointments with me. At one point in our pregnancy I had to meet with consultant and a midwife to discuss a complication and the possibility of a surgical birth… I found it incredibly distressing and intimidating to have to attend this meeting without my husband to support me. Thankfully all worked out in the end but it was a very lonely time in my pregnancy. It is his baby too and everything in our pregnancy and antenatal care affected him as it would me.January 26, 2010 at 11:43 am #87120FabienneMember
Jene you’re busy chating in the middle of the night 😆 😆 😆
I had C sections (3) and dh was with me most of it, even in the theater. I could have not coped with him away.
Just for the first it was a general aneasthesia, so he could not stay, but they brought him back IN THE theater as soon as I had an eye open.
Was so glad not to be alone, was scared enough as it was.
It was scary maybe that’s why they let him in. But thank god they did.
I feel for all those mum to be who have to do alone with dads to be waiting in a different room not knowing, not being able to help or to be yelled at 😆 (or is it just in the movies the yelling?).
Hope they’ll change their minds and let dads in again.
FabienneJanuary 26, 2010 at 9:25 pm #87151
Seemingly the ban has been lifted. The dads are allowed in now.
You are allowed visitors but only 1 at a time and thats gonna stick for the forseeable future too.January 27, 2010 at 5:11 pm #87225
They are saying the ban has been lifted but here is what’s happening:
Dads are not allowed into any scans or ante-natal visits. So if they have a question or want to see their baby on the screen, tough luck. Can’t go in.
Dad must wait outside while labour is diagnosed. If it is early labour, Dad will be sent outside hospital or told to go home until labour progresses.
Once labour is established (3cm dilated or more) and the mum is admitted to the labour ward/delivery suite, then the dad can come in.
Sadly, not all Dads get the call once she goes over 3cm and there was a dad in the car park last week waiting to be called and he was not called until his partner was at 8cm dilated. That was a disaster for all involved.
I have raised this issue with Thomas Byrne TD and he has agreed to discuss it in the Dail tonight.
If anyone wants to email him about the effects this is having on mums and dads to be, please contact him at Thomas.Byrne@Oireachtas.ie
I am sending him this page so he can see just how awful this situation can be for couples.
Happymammy – that was horrible for your sister and her partner. Hope they are ok now and home with their little bundle of joy. x
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