channel 4 – leaving home at 8

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  • #6929
    scole1
    Member

    anyone watch this, it’s about kids leaving at the age of 8years to go to boarding school….
    i’m in tears watching it, the poor kids they miss their parents so much, it’s hard enough to leave my own ds1 for when he’s going to montessori i couldn’t imagine leaving him for so long not being able to see him anytime i want…sad

    has anyone experienced boarding school? how did they cope in boarding school? this is so alien to me as i went to day school

    #88886
    yummymummy
    Member

    Havent watched it but my god I cant even imagine sending J (who is 8 ) to boarding school……EVER!!!!! Imagine only seeing your child at weekends if even….no thanks!

    #88893
    Fabienne
    Member

    I don’t know about boarding school.
    But depending on the reasons, if they’re explained to the child and if the care in the school is good, why not.

    I could never send my children to boarding school, but it’s up to each individual isn’t it?

    I do send my children away from us (to visit the grand parents in France), I did it the last 3 summers now (dd the oldest is 5.5 years, ds is 4).
    Every year they stay a bit longer away from parents but spoiled by grand-parents (not spoiled by money but with time and care, and french bread 😆 and french food), they just love it.
    The first year it was 1 small week, last year 19 days.
    At first I stayed with them for good few days so they were settle in the new house (by the sea-side and the sun), now I stay less, just fly with them, and take the first cheap flight back. And often we go the visit one set of grand-parent. I leave them there, and fly back home, and the other grand-parents collect them and go to the other house.
    They often come back with one of the grand-parent, it’s not even me flying back with them.

    Some people could find it worse than 1 week away in a boarding school at 8 or 10 years old.
    If you ask my children (I would never send 1 alone, being together help them to settle) if they want to go there again next summer, they say yes straight away.
    I call them everyday. even if most of the time they don’t even bother talk to me, too busy with their holiday life, or more food coming…..
    It’s always healthy food (mainly shelfish, and fruits).

    So back to boarding school, it can be ok, if eveything is done to make the children happy.
    You’re saying they’re not, so they should improve that side.
    My sister when she was 14/15 asked to go to a boarding school. Was ok, don’t think she regret her choice.
    I was too well at home.
    But now I’m miles away from my family and me sister visits my parents each time she’s free.

    Talk soon,
    Fabienne

    #88895
    hjs
    Member

    DH Dad, sadly dep last Aug, was sent to boarding school in England at age 7, this was the 1950s now.

    Always a v formal, terribly English, not v able to be in touch with any emotions kind of chap, nice enough, polite enough, but his only take on the world and people in it was to be scathing. I think that a defence mechanism he developed through the exp of boarding, and he said so as much himself on occasion.

    He was certain that boarding at such an early age contributed to that whole, stiff upper lip, English thing, which is really just about being distant I suppose, and so wouldn’t countenance it at all for his own 3 boys, who all went to the Royal Grammar school that the family moved to be within walking distance of, paying an extortionate amount for a house that in itself wasn’t worth the money. The house just could command the asking price cos it put you in catchment area for a school with excellent results and good reputation, a v common occurence in UK.

    But tbh, the damage of having to be grown up, and growing up lagely in isolation from age 7 was done for dh dad as far as I can see. He was always terribly polite to the point of not giving away much of his personality, something that rubbed off on each of the boys to a greater or lesser degree. DH still awfully, awfully, unnecessarily polite much of the time and you don’t know the real him for a good while.

    But it must work for some I suppose? Horses for courses…

    #88931
    MUMMY5
    Member

    Found it a hard program to watch when the children were obviously so distressed by the separation. Especially, when one parent came to visit her daughter and the daughters friend was trying to get a hug out of her too. This little girls mum couldnt get to visit her. 8yrs. So little to be separated like this, I think. It’s different when children go stay with relations/family as it least its a ‘home’ environment. I found it hard when they had breakfast with was it 100 children? Don’t think it ‘natural’ for and 8yr old.

    Also the older boy who said he chose not to go home at weekends as its easier to stay and not see your parents because when you see them you miss them all over again so hard. That really pulled at my heartstrings. The Mum also seemed to struggle with feeling at a loose end and not knowing what to do with her time when the children were at boarding school. I struggled to find the logic in her being so sad without her children and they so sad without her. Children are children for so little a time, I couldnt bear to push my own into a more ‘adult’ environment where they become part of such a big institution.

    #88932
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    WHY??? why would you do that??? you might think you’re giving your child the best education but emotionally you’re ruining them!!!
    Why have kids?? adopt and give a child a happy life who has none!!!

    #88957
    rossylisa
    Member

    It was hearth breaking stuff alright. couldn’t imagine sending DD away at that age even if she goes to stay with someone for a weekend she misses us very much.

    #88973
    Taylor5
    Member

    This happened alot in my fathers day… my dad and his brothers were sent to boarding school down the west of Ireland at 9 years old. Their dad died when he was 31 and my granny was left with 5 children and a pub and B&B to run so her only option was to send them away…. they were lovely people but very cold and very hard at times, they didnt show emotion and they all had a terrible hatred towards there mother, on of the older boys would have been about 13 and told his mother he was old enough to help with the business but he was still sent away as she wanted them to have an education…… dont think he uttered more then a handfull of words to the woman over then following 60 years to her death….. so i’d guess these kids will end up feeling bitter and unloved

    #88977
    rcole
    Member

    Have to say it ewas not a great programme to watch and I have no idea how they were able to send there kids away. What is the point in having kids if you are going to miss them growing up.
    Noticed a lot of high end cars in the show and was wondering were they doing it because there children were cramping there lifestyle.
    Some said they were doing it because they were in militery positions and were not always home.

    I know a guy who went to boarding school and I believe that the system messed him up very badly.
    Like was said by one of the kids last night he didnt want to come home because he found it harder to readjust when he went back. My friend told me that when he came home at Xmas he wouldnt open presents because he did not want to get close to his family because when he was going back to school he would be unsettled.
    I can see with him now that it has not done him any favours.

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