August 28, 2013 at 7:44 pm #125572AnonymousInactive
ok so a woman started in work about a month ago & I was friendly to her & helped her learn the ropes but basically ever since she started she is being very unpleasant to me, things she does include-
* cutting across me anytime I speak
* turning her back on me /blanking me
* talks to everyone else but me
* glares at me
* looks over my shoulder at whatever work I’m doing
* when speaks to me does it in a real snotty tone
I was thinking maybe I was just being overly sensitive & I haven’t pulled her up on things,but in the last week, 2 other staff members have talked to me about her & have noticed how she is treating me differently.
The thing is I really don’t know what to do, i really liked my job before she came & now I wake up with a knot in my stomach with the thought of going in there to face her.
Any advice from anyone that has been in a similar position would be appreciated, just feel upset & pissed off about it at the moment & its getting me down.August 28, 2013 at 7:44 pm #16337AnonymousInactive
Oh no God love you xxxx
First thing I would advise is to speak to your supervisor/manager to bring it to their attention, and also to make a note of all the incidents. It will help that others have noticed too.
Hope you get it sorted out xxAugust 29, 2013 at 10:23 am #114388JedtKeymaster
Sounds like she is threatened by you and how well you do your job. That’s a classic way to try to cut somebody down who you are intimidated by. But is not acceptable at all and it needs to be sorted out and stopped.
For starters, I would advise a chat with HR, they should be able to give you some advice. They are unbiased and there to help, so go have chat with them.
If you want to be clear & specific when you go to them, bring some written examples of what she does so you can go through them and not lose your train if thought. It might be worth asking the other staff members who have noticed it, if they will back you up about it if need be. They should not need to do anything just yet but incase, its good to know you have support.
I would advise a chat with HR regardless, they should be able to give you some advice.
Hope that helps.August 29, 2013 at 9:54 pm #129014pookie2Member
Had horrible experience of this about ten years ago. Couldn’t eat or sleep, had migraines & nightmares, lost weight, came out in rashes, had runs …. and I couldn’t go to my boss, coz he was the bully. I got no redress even when I lodged an official complaint. Instead, he accused me of misuse of funds (totally bogus)… Only stopped when he left. I nearly had a breakdown over the whole thing which lasted for nearly two years…. Until you experience it, you can’t appreciate how awful it is…
Tough to deal with, especially if vague like this.
= Firstly, assure yourself that you are not imagining it. Ask friends to observe how this other woman interacts with you.
= Talk to friends / vent. Go to acupuncture or have a hot bath – whatever you can afford that helps you relax. Try to compartmentalise – when you’re not at work, try to forget her entirely (not easy to do)
= Pull her up on her behaviour. Bullying is only counted as bullying if the aggressor knows that her / his action is unwelcome or inappropriate, Make her aware of this, ideally at the time (ie ‘Can I help you? It makes me very uncomfortable when you look over my shoulder like that. Please don’t do it any more’,). If possible, have a witness.
= Keep a written record of what happened, what was said & who was there. Ideally get the witness to write down what they witnessed. Keep it to the facts. Just write down what happened. You MUST do this at the time, not days later.
Hope it is just a temporary thing…
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