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i would say same as taylor try not to worry…i stopped going for my visits because everytime i went they always found something to criticise me about what i was doing wrong and worrying me that something was wrong with ds…and have heard that story many times in ireland…we moved to wales in summer and my new ds who is now 17wks under care of health visitors here and they are so different…of course baby focused but also very much mum focused..always asking how i am never criticise and always tell me wat a great job i am doing ….such a difference…
yes of course its important to pick up on problems early but it just seems the phn have a very harsh way about them…
my ds is doing what ipresume he should be but i am not worrying just yet as i know from my first ds they all do things at different times…
Hi,
I don’t know how to start…
Last week I went to see a public nurse with my baby son for his 3 months check up. His weight,height were checked and then the nurse was checking my baby’s eyes if he was following the little doll, which he did,but then she said he doesn’t focus enough 😕 . So she referred me to HSE Officer as she sees an issue 🙁 . So I am worried, I really tried,but then I started reading about 3-4 months baby milestones etc… And my baby doesn’t try to grab toys when he sees them,or doesn’t play with his hands (they are all the time in his mouth),or legs.
Now I am worried sick.I know,time will tell,but meanwhile we have to wait 2 months to see this doctor (apparently long waiting list).
Anyone had a similar experience????Hello there, dont mind the PHN, i dont want to offend any phns out there but sometimes they open their mouths without engaging their brains. Your baby sounds very normal, mine would have just put their hands in their mouths at that age, they werent big into grabbing at things at that age, but a few weeks later yes they were doing. They are guidelines nothing else, all kids are different.
I had issues with phn on both my boys.
my first born 8 3 and after 2 weeks he was 12ibs, i had the face chewed off me that i was over feeding or giving hungry baby food or baby rice in the bottle, off she went on a rant, i let her….. then i informed her that my child was being Breast fed and how the hell could i over feed him, she was oh, okay maybe he is just going to be big like his daddy!! I was a first time mum getting read the riot act!!
The second child had health issues, he only had hearing in 1 ear and he was hypotonic (no muscle tone in upper body) I went to gp and health nurse with this, he was given his own intervention team who were amazing…. i had him booked into the lourdes to see Dr Gormley (brilliant doctor) and daily physio. The public health nurse went on to tell me my son had cerebral palsy, i was sick with worry, i jumped ahead about how would we manage, doing plans in my head about the car, house, what school would take him etc….. i went to Dr Gormely and when i told her, she went mental, she said if she had a euro for every time a phn sent a worried parent to the hospital she would be very rich, she did say Cerebral palsy was something she was looking into but wouldnt say until she got the results, all was clear Thank God but i have never been back for any milestone checks after the 3 months, they dont even ring me!! 😆 😆 😆
Sorry for the long post, enjoy your baby and dont worry until your told you have something to worry about, i believe grannies are better then any phn
Good luck with the tests xThanks a mill,it is very encouraging. I hope everything is ok with my baby and I know I should not be worried in advance.I think some professional could be more careful what they are saying to first time mums.
Thanks again for sharing your story 🙂You poor thing, I can understand how upset you are.
When my son was a baby I was told by a PHN that he was underweight and possibly malnourished and it could lead to serious health problems for him. He was not a great eater as a baby and we used to spend hours trying to coax food into him but despite me explaining this to her, she really pushed us to have him checked and I have to say, she made me feel like a really bad mother. I knew in my heart I was doing my best and that he was was just not a great eater as a baby but she made me second guess everything I did.
She was not a mother herself and I am sure she was trying to be helpful but the wording she used and how she treated me made me feel Iike I was doing something wrong. It was very upsetting.
She made me so paranoid, that she said I needed to have my son checked and so we ended up at a Paedicatric Consultant in hospital. He examined my son and said there was not a bother on him. He actually said to me ‘you are his mother, do you think there is anything wrong with him, you know him better than anyone’ and when I said ‘no, I did not believe there was anything wrong’ but that the PHN had pressured me into getting him checked, he threw his eyes up to heaven and said she did not know what she talking about.
Sure, my son was a little bit skinny but some kids are built that way. He was healthy, never sick or on anti-biotics and I should have listened to my gut and not worried as much about what she said.
My son is now 8 and he is still really lean (I have to take most of his trousers in at the waist) but he eats loads and has a fantastic appetite. I cannot fill him up – he actually eats more than me!! He is full of energy, playing football, out with his friends, doing well in school and is a great little fella – so all the worrying we did was for nothing.
PHN’s are there to see if there is anything they think needs investigating and sometimes they are right to suggest follow up’s but like the other girls said, they often recommend something to be checked when there is nothing wrong at all. I think they are ultra cautious and it can be very upsetting for us mums when we think there is a real problem with our children.
If you are really worried, call up and ask to be put on a cancellation list and you might get seen sooner.
But try not to worry and enjoy your baby and keep us posted.
There have been a lot of mams on here with similar story to you and it worked out fine for them and babies were fine (its the poor mums who suffer and almost pull their hair out with the stress of it!!!)
I remember taking my son for his 9 month check up and the nurse (the same one who was always on at me about his weight) wanted him to build some blocks and of course, he would not do it.
I was actually sweating with the stress of it, he could do it at home but would not do it for her. I felt sick, like a total failure as she quizzed me about his development. it was awful.
he is reading a book or more a week now and is a little clever clogs, so again, worrying over nothing.
hope your LO will be ok. take care and try not to worry (impossible I know but try!!)
I can only repeat what the girls have already said. I had a PHN tell me at 16 week check that my baby may have a delayed development. I was working in the health services with children at the time and never noticed anything neither did any of my family ever notice but like you, the PHN referred me to Navan to see a doctor over there. Well I was in an awful state and in a worse state when I was told the appointment wouldn’t be for another 8-10 weeks. I constantly watched my son and the stress was unreal. So much so we booked a private appointment with a Dr Lynch a child neurologist. He just took one look at him and asked what the problem was. We explained the story and he examined him and found no abnormalities and advised us to not to pay to much attention to what others say and we are the ones who know our baby best. He is now a very healthy 10 year old with no problems. So try wait it out and attend your appointment but be aware this has happened to others.
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