A letter from Santa

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    A message from Santa Dear girls and boys of Ireland,

    In 1897 I had to get a friend the editor of the Sun newspaper in America to tell a little girl Virginia that there is a Santa Claus. And today I have asked another great friend the editor of Sligo Today to give me space to tell you, Yes children of Ireland there is a Santa Claus! Yippee!

    Myself, Mrs Claus, the elves and reindeer were upset to read about Rev Father Martin Hegarty’s little talk to you on the wonders and magic of Christmas in the beautiful Scoil Mhuire gan Smal in Lixnaw. (It is world famed for its great pupils and teachers).

    When you reach a certain age (which is secret) Santa leaves you a different kind of present. After all your mammy and daddy would not like to get a doll or a child’s computer game for Christmas and what child would like a bottle of aftershave or perfume! Ho! Ho!. So you see there has tobe a point where this happens and that is why I sent a message to Fr Hegarty to let you know this.

    I have elves from all over the world, including Ireland. Two young Irish elves were sent to Fr Hegarty with the correct message for you. The elder Irish elf Garret Goody Two Shoes warned me these two, Enda and Eamon are their name, are two scatter brained common eejits with no sense of direction whatsoever. Garret told me he sent them to the shop for eggs and milk and they brought back soap and paraffin oil! But, Mrs Claus said to give them a chance, and I did.

    They came back here yesterday all embarrassed about what happened. I cannot be angry so I said to them nicely , "T’was more like Chinese whispers you pair of buckos gave that poor man. Tell me what happened?"

    They landed at Sli An Fhiche and promptly got lost ending up at Farrandeen and then tripped over a nearby stone monument, so by the time they arrived at Fr. Hegarty’s house he was fast asleep and they were bewildered, sure isn’t this typical of Enda and Eamon. So they climbed into a dream Fr Hegarty was having about the crib, and sure they muddled the poor man’s mind up. And that is why he gave you the wrong message.

    Now, girls and boys of Ireland I must tell you that I love visiting Ireland every Christmas Eve night, and the delights you leave out for me, the elves and reindeer are wonderful. Especially the Tayto (nowhere in the world are there crisps like these) and no mammy can make currant cake like an Irish mammy! So never fear, Santa is always here, you just have to close your eyes to see him, as only girls and boys are allowed to see me.

    Now don’t forget to write me a letter soon, and you don’t even need a stamp.

    So a Happy Christmas to you all.

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