7 months & still no joy

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    We have been toilet training Hailey since January and still everyday she is having numerous accidents, its like she just doesn’t get it/ or care if she wets herself. we have tried so many things with her picture books about going to the loo, sticker charts, rewards, reminding her hourly to go, telling her she is a big girl now and to just go when she wants herself etc…

    I have tried to remain patient and not get angry about it but the other day on the 12th accident of the day I actually broke down and cried with the frustration of it all. I have made an appointment with our GP for Friday to see if she can shed any light on the subject as I have run out of ideas and I feel that she is just never going to get it.

    Has anyone else found toilet training this difficult?.


    oh haileysmum wish I had some wise tidbit of information for you but I don’t. How old is she now? I can imagine the frustration. If I remember rightly sabbi had hard time toilet training her youngest??? might have some ideas for and you know what no harm talking to the GP

    Fingers crossed you get some answers or ideas x


    Munchin shes 3.5 now and she is a smart cookie, which makes it even harder to understand, I mean she knows what she is doing is wrong when she does an accident she just doesn’t seem to care enough to move the 8 feet to the toilet and will wet herself instead…I have to say it has me broken 🙁


    Each child is so different. Our first child was brilliant but our second and last were a nightmare! It took four months on our second child and it was so frustrating. After 4 frustrating months we actually stopped for a few months and then tried again and second time around, she got it. Sometimes they resist and don’t want to do it and no matter how much you explain and reason with them, they won’t do it. They just aren’t ready and that can be hard for us to accept and understand

    I think something needs to click in their head and that can take a while. On our last daughter it took months and she wet herself a lot and we did get frustrated too. It’s only natural to feel frustrated.

    Only in the last week has our daughter stopped wearing pull ups at night and she will be 4 in two weeks time!!! It has taken this long to finally get her fully trained.

    Have you tried reading books about toilet training ? Using star charts? Showing tutorials online?

    Might be a question to ask Allen from CA Coaching in the parenting expert section ? He might have some tips.

    Sorry can’t help more but I really feel your pain , we were in a similar situation not too long ago. And it’s nothing you’re doing wrong, in her head she is just not ready

    Eventually she will get it. It will click for her but in the meantime it’s hard going for you. One day you’ll be over this and it will just be a distant memory. …promise!


    Oh Sabbi, I have read at least 5 toilet training books, I have sticker charts to beat the band, we have watched so many videos on it- when I say I have done everything I can think of I really have- im just at a loss as to what else I can do thats why im going to the GP.

    Someone my sister knows their public health nurse referred her son to a incontinence nurse when he had similar problems…but my sister doesn’t know what happened next!


    Poor you – its so stressful. I had a feeling you would have tried the books etc. but thought I’d ask just incase 🙁

    We were so frustrated that we got a talking Minnie Mouse potty training system for our daughter but even that did not make her want to go in it. It was really hard going and we were massively frustrated but thankfully, she is ok now. But as I mentioned, she is only out of pulls up a week or so and she is about to turn 4. It took a LONG time!

    And all the washing too that it entails when she does have an accident is another stress on you.

    Does she go on the toilet sometimes?Does she know before she needs to go and she just does not want to go on the toilet? what does she say when she wets herself?

    Let us know how you get on with the GP. I hope he can give some good advice. And I’ll ask Allen from Ca Coaching if he has any tips too.



    she does go sometimes unprompted but very rarely, sometimes I will just see her jiggling about and id bring her to the loo/potty. when she wets herself sometimes she will say nothing at all and ill just spot that she is wet other times she will say I had an accident.

    GP wasn’t that much help this am if im honest .she said that I know more about toilet training than she does. she mentioned putting her back in pull ups – but i really don’t know about that at this stage as we are the 7 months trying, i think it will further confuse her?…she said to contact public health nurse. I brought along a urine sample and it tested ok but she wants me to get another sample off her to get sent to hospital lab for further tests.

    Sabbi you mentioned the washing….its never ending…the other day I actually ran out of clothes as I had one wash on, one wash drying and then she had loads of accidents and I had no clothes left so she ended up in PJ bottoms in the middle of the day…I just wish I could see an end to this


    Hi Haileysmum

    We went through similar problems with our 3yo daughter. We tried potty training for over 6 months but unfortunately she kept wetting herself.
    Following some advice from other parents we put her back into pullups and eased off trying for a further 3/4 months and re-visited again.

    Second time around it just clicked with her much quicker and there was no frustration on our part. It still took awhile for her to do a poo in the toilet but that came with time and now she is flying at night time too, for the last week she goes pee at night and wakes next morning nice & dry…she does need to run to the toilet but don’t we all!

    We honestly believe taking a 3/4 month break helped her just as much as it helped us.

    CA Coaching

    Sorry to hear of the frustration Haileysmum, it can get too much sometimes. I think the best advice has already been given…I know you have been trying for 7 months but it seems like your daughter just isn’t ready, so I would stop putting yourselves and your daughter through the frustration and take a break for a while. I know this might seem like a step backwards after everything you have done but it might make such a big difference.

    I know for one of our children we tried for a couple of months and got that frustration but ultimately she wasn’t ready, then after leaving it a couple of months, she actually came to us and said she was ready…it was like the switch flicked in her head and she was ready to grasp it, and she never looked back.

    There is so much information out there for parents, a lot of which can actually be quite contradictory, so take the pressure off yourselves and your daughter and just leave it for a while. It’s okay to explain to her that obviously she’s not ready and so you’re taking a break. It might reassure her because I’m sure she feels the pressure too.

    Hope this helps.



    its like going to the doctor on Friday gave Hailey a fright or something as she has had no accidents since our visit…..im in actual shock. I don’t know why- but maybe her listening to us talking about her accidents made her think about it?. I really don’t know what goes through a 3 year olds head but if she has finally got it, it feels like a miracle! 🙂

    Thanks for all your advice 😀


    That’s great news – long may it last!! Hopefully she has turned the corner and this is the start of all coming together. Maybe she did listen and take something in – you just do’t know what goes on in those little heads!!

    Our daughter has been doing well but she had an accident Friday night and wet her bed at 3am but this is the first time since we took her out of pull-ups at night that its happened so we did not get too worried about it.

    Overall it takes a long time for them to be fully trained and to know how to wake up during the night and go to the toilet if they need to but we think we’re on the right road.

    it can be a frustrating process indeed!!!


    oh fingers crossed shes clicked it
    i think some get it quickly others just take their time and sometimes if their fiesty it can become a battle of the wills
    my 6yr old still does the jiggle dance – if she’s too busy doing something she will wait until the very very last minute

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