4yr having temper tantrums that resemble a fit!

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  • #10367
    nwmum
    Member

    Been ages since I’ve been on this. My ds is having a fit or two everyday. Now I am well used to the temper tantrums but now it is so bad he is giving himself an asthma attack. then out of no where about forty minutes later he acts all normal again. It is getting to be so bad i can’t bring him out. It’s over things like the water being to cold to wash his hands to breakfast. I am lost what to do as he is so mad that he doesn’t even hear me trying to calm him down.

    Anyone any similar experiences?

    #105976
    Taylor5
    Member

    My ds would have been like this, but nothing like 40 mins or anything, but would freak if lets say daddy was doing breakfast (not very often i might add) and he would do his juice or cereal different!!!!
    Little things would get him into a rage… he would get timmed out to calm down etc, but that wasnt getting to the root of the problem. I started to say well if the way mammy isnt doing it isnt right can you show me how you like it, how to do it, how you like your water…. for example with the hand washing… i would have said to him " mammys notsure how you like the water, your a big boy can you help mammy get the water right?"
    I think its a confusing age, they know what they want but they still are dependent on us for things. Good luck and your not alone xxxx

    #105979
    nwmum
    Member

    I kn ow its not unusual and he has been prone to temper tantrums. I stay calm tried the bold step. Now I just ignore him because he’s started hitting and kicking me. Something he has never or I would have never have let him do. I’ve cut sugar out of his diet, stopped letting watch tv if he’s acts up. But its just getting worse, doesn’t want to go to creche he seems like he can’t hear me then he gets really upset and starts proper crying not rage. Should I bring him to the doctor? Feel like my son is turning into a spoilt brat but feel its more than that. How mad do I sound?

    #105995
    munchin
    Participant

    you don’t sound mad you sound concerned!
    I have a 4 yr old and she’s well able to throw a tantrum alright hasn’t kicked or hit us yet! I use the time out – sometimes on the couch with no tv on she’s more inclined to stay there. Taylor gives some good advice on asking how they want it done not easy at times but eventually works, my one goes off high pitched screaming before we know there’s something wrong – thankfully only occassionaly now but we had to do the whole "we can’t hear you or understand whats wrong if your screaming" " show us how you want to do it" i ask her to leave the room and come back and talk to me when she can stop crying etc
    Another thing to keep in mind – if you decide rules etc explain the rules to him and STICK with it -sometimes seeing the upset leads us to go easy or not follow through and can lead to confusing them etc

    #106005
    Taylor5
    Member

    Yeah munchin it is not easy they do test us… if hitting or kicking i would just time out for that, and maybe the time too cool off .

    Would you be worried about his hearing? My nephew got very bold and bad tempered, turned out he could hardly hear and got grommits fitted, the tantrums stopped when the grommits went in.

    I know some think they are utter crap but reward charts are brilliant and as they reward good it encourages them to be good and the tamtrums vanish.
    if you think a trip to the gp or maybe the phn just to get advice

    #107510
    nwmum
    Member

    So a month on and it has really worked. I stopped all treats (sweets etc) introduced 7pm bed time not matter what and reward for being good. He hasn’t had a temper tanturm in two weeks and has really calmed down. I took away all his toys and he has been getting them back VERY gradually so fingers crossed it’s a turn around. Only thing is he’s also been out of playschool so I am thinking of moving him. Maybe a Montessori. Does anyone know one in Clogherhead?

    #107558
    Taylor5
    Member

    That is brilliant news….

    #107850

    hey there nwmum

    it sounds like your son is just strugggling to find his independence and cant communicate how he is feeling. playschool/montessori is a great way for children to grow emotionally and intellectually and you are right that this may benifit your child…

    the magickingdom playschool montessori is based in boyne business park just off the termonfeckin rd right beside integral fitness(used to be the westgate)..we are a small family run playschool where the class sizes are kept small and we adhere to all hse regulations.all our staff are fully qualified and first aid trained and also garda vetted..
    we operate an opendoor policy…you are more than welcome to call in at any stage and talk to us…we have spaces available and we would be more than happy to see you…our number is 04198 36799…

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