October 25, 2012 at 11:56 am #125334AnonymousInactive
Is it just me or does anyone else find that if your a stay at home mum (through no choice of your own) that everyone else presumes that you have nothing whatsoever to do!!! I am a mum to three children (2boys 1 girl) ages 8,6, and 3 1/2, and I am sick to the back teeth (a wonder i have any left) of people taking me for an eejet!!! If it’s not "hi you wouldn’t mind collecting little johnny from school for me, I’m just delayed 10 minutes" or my mother (who is the best in the world don’t get me wrong) arriving in with an armful of post for me to a)ring about her car insurance and sort it out b)ring about my fathers van insurance and sort THAT out. c)ring her health insurance company and ask them to reduce the premium (which I have been doing for nearly 20 years and that still hasn’t happened) and d) bring her up to the local Electrical retailer and sort out a new television as her old one isn’t Saorview and she needs a new one for my father to watch the "All-Ireland" on. (Despite the fact that the old analogue service wasn’t switched off untill yesterday and the All-Ireland took place in September.)
I am so fed up and haven’t the "balls" (husbands words not mine) to tell the offending neighbour (who wants "little johnny" picked up and she’ll be ten minutes at the most) where to go… the ten minutes always turns into an hour and a half to two hours, when she arrives at the door full of smiles sayings she’s soooo sorry, that she was in town and got stuck behind a tractor!!!!! on the way home…
is there anyone else out there who gets this, or am I just the only eejet out there!!October 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm #125335
Ohh I feel your pain!!
I work from home part-time and have 4 children. My life is busy to the point of chaotic but still, my family and my husband’s family often ask us to do all sorts of stuff for them. Don’t get me wrong, my mam is great & my sisters are too and they do help us out if we have to go to a meeting and need to drop the baby and they babysit sometimes.
But they do ask us to do alot for them – between ordering stuff, booking flights, driving them places and doing other things for them I sometimes feel like screaming that I am only one person and can only do so much!!
Between cooking, cleaning, looking after the house, school drop off & pick up, homework, ironing, tidying, after school activities and then in the misdt of all that, we are running a small business from home too – we are knackered.
I’ve suggested to my mam a few times that she should maybe go on a comptuer course and pick up a few skills herself or maybe learn how to drive but it does not seep in!! Only my dad and I drive in our family, so the rest of them ask for lifts often from us. Its a pain in bum sometimes to be honest!!
I’ll be honest, there are times when I screen calls and just don’t answer 😳
Guess I am fairly tired today and a bit ratty, sorry for rant!!October 25, 2012 at 3:55 pm #125347AnonymousInactive
We need to rant!!!
Honestly I think if anyone seen me going around the house they would have me carted off to the nearest looney bin.. (i think it’s ok to say that!!) Sometimes I think it wouldn’t be a bad thing I could have a rest!..
So I’m not the only one who gets landed with all the "little thing" we are asked to do for out nearest and dearest… It’s bad enough when you have to do it for them, but just after I wrote my first post there earlier, I was just heading out the door to meet the kids from school (it’s only three mins around the corner) the mobile rings… "Hi… sorry I know Im a pest could you pick Johnny up for me, I’m stuck in a meeting here and I’ll be a half an hour at the most" Now "Johnny" is only after being collected, It’s nearly 5 and I have had him since 3… In that space of time I have had to do homework with my two boys (he refused to do his) and have put up with him playing wrestling around the sitting room and now have lovely black marks from his shoes all over the wooden floor, which is in a bad enough state as it is without someone elses child adding to it. i live in a small estate in the countryside and there are only 3 stay at home mums here.. Theres one other mum that gets landed as well, the other one talks to no-one and is an unfriendly cow so no-one asks her a favour.. Maybe I should take a leaf out of her book and start snarling at my neighbours!!!October 25, 2012 at 6:11 pm #125349AnonymousInactive
You know your prob right lellykelly, makes me feel better to know that there are others out there just like me… I think one of these days I’m just going to say NO… and with for the look of shock on everyones face.. mind you I prob wouldn’t be able to sleep that night for fretting that I had offended someone!!! Deep breaths!!!October 25, 2012 at 6:22 pm #125350lellykellyMember
I was just thinking what would that other mam do if you said no you couldn’t collect her child! Maybe next time you could say I can collect him but can only hold onto him for 20 mins max as I’m going somewhere?? That way you are not leaving the child stranded but are letting her know you can’t be taken for granted on a regular basis? XOctober 25, 2012 at 7:36 pm #125353
Say no a few times and they won’t ask as much!!
I don’t like to say no myself but sometimes I feel so stretched I have to refuse certain things. For example, on my birthday, my sister offered to babysit all day so my husband and I could go into Dublin for the day, for some shopping, bite to eat and a few drinks. We were on the north side of the city and my mam asked me to go over to the southside and pick her up a pair of shoes she had seen in a shop that week (when I was with her and told her to just buy them and stop procrastinating!) but she didn’t and then of course, she decided she had to have them and that I would walk over and get them for her. I was about 20 min walk from the shoe shop where we were going to and I did not want a 40 minutes trip – on my birthday – my one day off!!
So I said no, it did not go down well but sometimes we have to say no or we’ll get trampled on!! 😮October 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm #125374AnonymousInactive
Guess what Ladies…. I just said NO….
I got the call from "Johnnys" mum!!! "I know I know I’m such apest, any chance you could collect Johnny today, I have an appointment with my gyne (shes six months pregnant) and I could be running late you know how it is"…
So I said… I’m sorry "Julie" I can’t today I’m going into town straight away the lads have to get a haircut (this is true they are starting to resemble the sheep in the field!!)
Oh, frig (it was the other f word) it anyways, what’ll I do.? sez she to me.. I started to feel a bit bad but I stuck to my guns.. I said to her she could ring the school and say she was running late, and I had to go I was on top of my head..
When I went around to the school about 5 mins early lo and behold she was sitting there waiting for "Johnny"… Makes you wonder dosen’t it…October 26, 2012 at 6:12 pm #15270AnonymousInactive
I don’t know that its necessarily because you are a stay at home mams, I find that inside and outside of work if you want something done, ask a busy person. I’m in Dublin during the week and am often asked if I could just pick something up in the shops or ‘sure you’re near there can you sort it out’. Never mind the fact that im normally on Grafton street at 7.30 in the morning when not one shop is open, don’t take a proper lunch break 4 days out of 5 and am normally running for the evening bus because I’ve a load of things waiting for me at home!! So I’d say its more to do with the fact that the people involved know that you will do what’s being asked and they don’t have to worry about it….xOctober 26, 2012 at 6:12 pm #125377
Good for you – she was taking advantage it sounds like!! Good that you said no, we cannot always say yes to everyone and what they want us to doOctober 26, 2012 at 9:55 pm #125380lellykellyMember
Brilliant….love the fact that she managed to make it on time herself!!! Good for you xOctober 30, 2012 at 10:34 am #125399Donomum3Member
ninja08.good for you for saying no.!it sounds like if this womanfrequently cant get home on time to collect her child she needs to employ a childminder instead of using you for free.keep saying no and she will get the message .i know its very hard to say no as you feel bad for the childs sake dont beput on a guilt trip but it shouldnt be your problem.put yourself and your own kids first.she clearly wasnt that stuck when you did say no she arrived..
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