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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 12 years, 10 months ago
My sister had a beautiful baby boy 2weeks ago. It was really bitter sweet as we were due around the same time. I got to hold him and kiss his little head. I was ok while at my sisters house but driving that night on a lonely dark bog road I lost it!!! I am happy for my sister but so angry that I can’t hold my beautiful little boy Julian.
The…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 12 years, 12 months ago
Thanks again everyone for your kind supportive words. As it was mothers day yesterday and dh was away I made sure I filled up the whole day away from the house with my 3 little boys. Mass, breakfast, shop, visiting,playground the graveyard (or stone garden as my 3yr old calls it). We had nuggets followed by choc cake and biscuits. All in all we…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years ago
The closer I get to Julians Due Date the worse I feel. I watch my kids play and wonder what Julian would have looked like. I find myself with a mixture of being mad and sad at the same time. God how I wish it never happened, I wish I was still pregnant and massive. I wish I could get excited about my sister having her baby soon without feeling so…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic Missed miscarriage in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years ago
Hi Daisy37,
I am so sorry that you lost your baby. I know it has been over 9 months since your mc but I’m sure you still have days of sadness.
I mc on Christmas eve at 20 weeks and it has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I now know the deep sadness a mother to be (and fathers too) feels when they loose a baby. Because I was…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 1 month ago
Hi everyone,
I have had more good days than bad since my last post. Now I feel anxious when I think of my due date (was May 10th). I was sitting in our little church yesterday thinking about my eldest son’ communion on May 22. When I was pregnant I was thinking "how will I manage a house party and the baby being so small". I pictured all of us…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic miscarriage support? in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 1 month ago
My heart breaks for your loss. I have been reading your posts from the beginning but because I lost my baby at Christmas I never felt strong enough to add anything or be of any help in any way.
To me the loss of your child is the worst loss in the world. I am truly sorry.
I was so mad when I read about your scan pictures and the hospital. Because…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 1 month ago
The woman who gave me the massage thought she really hust me because I was crying. I just couldn’t help it. She then let me lay in the room for half hour and I just cried. I had lots of bouts of crying since it happened and they were all so painful. It was almost like I didn’t want to let go of the feeling and the anguish over my baby Julian.…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 1 month ago
I know I haven’t posted for a while and I’ve just read all the replies. Since my last post I kind of closed up and shut myself down. I thought once I got to a day that was "normal" I would stay that way by not upsetting myself or talking about the mc. I Had relatives visiting from Amer and I was preparing myself for them. I had my "american mom"…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Well we talked and agreed to leave it for a while before we broach the subject again. I think my husband thinks I’m going to be "cured" by this counselor (that still hasn’t called me back!). I had a good think for myself and decided he wanted to get this done out of love for me really. He IS worried and I understand this now.
Today I got my first…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
My mind is in such turmoil. Today my husband canceled an app for vasectomy. We had talked about it while I was pregnant and I agreed with him about getting it done………..just asked him to wait till the baby was born. Since I lost Julian I was at least relieved that he didn’t have it done. But after he canceled today he tells me he really wants…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Today was a very busy day. The kids really tried my patience and I felt like I had a very short fuse to begin with. Ended the day by taking my eldest son so a mass in prep for his first communion. I stood in the back and listened to the little kids singing and saying prayers. All the innocent little faces so happy and full of…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Got to see the GP yesterday. He is very nice but speaks so softly that you have to lean in to him to hear what he is saying. "Now what can I do for you"? I had to explain what happened to him ………….He sat there agreeing with me saying"that’s right, you did" and Ok? Strange! I felt like I broke down in front of him he would have me…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Thanks for all the comforting words. They give me hope that things will get better. I always considered myself to be a strong person But I’m just like everybody else in that Loss cripples even the strongest person. I admire and am amazed by the strength of every one on here.
I did have an app at the doc. He is very nice. I didn;t feel rushed and…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Today I can’t get it together at all…………..I want him back!!!
I want my baby back……….
I feel like someone (God) opened the door into my life and ripped one of my babies from me. I will never see him again and I am to accept that he is "better off", "in a better place" and that it was "Gods will"!!!!!
I will never accept it and what a…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Hi Everyone,
I had my doctors app on Wed. Iwrote down all my questions. I put on make up for the first time in weeks. I was determined to have this app without crying. I left the house in plenty time and as I was driving and had time to spare I drove into the grave yard. There I was ………..frozen in the seat. Could I do this without getting…[Read more] -
emptyblankets replied to the topic willow tree angels in the forum Spot the Bargain 13 years, 2 months ago
I’m going to check these out. I have become obsessed with angels since the mc. I found a baby laying in an angel wing and I keep it on the mantel. When searching for an angel for the grave I was so particular that the shop owner asked if I collect them or something………….my reply " I hope not" .
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Thanks Sabbi and everyone again. I think I’ve talked to my husband about 3 times about the miscarriage. I hear him on the phone saying things like" oh she’s fine" and we just have to get on with it " . It just wasn’t meant to be. He always changes the conversation. He was really strong as it was happening. Tears filled his eyes after I had Julian…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Thank you all for the reply and comforting words. I think I’ve been trying to be "normal" around everyone and today I feel like my world is just not right. I used to pray when going to sleep that I would wake up and all would be fine, that this was all a bad dream. I still hold my belly and I swear I thought I felt the baby moving. I know I sound…[Read more]
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emptyblankets replied to the topic trying to cope in the forum Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement & Depression 13 years, 2 months ago
Hi there,
I am new to this but I am so happy I found a place where I don’t feel so alone in my sorrow. I have three beautiful boys. we just moved back home from the states in July. Because the last c-sec was complicated mostly by a lot of scar tissue we kind of agreed three was enough. July and August were very busy, unloading, unpacking,…[Read more]