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July 6, 2018 at 5:31 pm #140724
Ok, so this is even hard to write but I think it might help if I actually write it down.
Last week, I was really busy with work and my kids were asking if we could please go to the beach whenever I had the time to take them. I wrapped up a little early on Friday and we headed to our local beach. It was really hot and the beach was quite busy.
As I set up the towels, the girls ran full speed towards the water. The tide was out, so it was quite a bit away from where I was sitting with our towels. I walked down towards the shore after them and they had run fell speed into the water. I had told them not to go past their thighs in the water but as I walked towards the sea, I could see they had gone really far in. Way further than I would ever allow.
I could see them splashing around but the closer I looked, I could not see my 6yr old anywhere. I could see the two older girls but not her. I got really anxious immediately and started running towards the water and still, I could not see her.
Ss I ran to the waters edge, I could hear the older two girls screaming and I did not know if they were screaming because they were playing or if they were screaming because my 6 yr old was gone. I completely panicked and started running into the water and a man who was walking his dog saw I was screaming for my daughter and he ran in with me.
It turns out she was fine – she had been ducking down in the water playing a game but because they were so far out, I literally could not see her at all.
I know, logically, that she was and is absolutely fine but for those few moments (which felt like a really really long time) I thouht she was gone.
I have never felt raw panic like it in my life. I was trembling and shaking and crying afterwards because I honestly thought she was gone.
I should mention, when I was 8 years old, I saw a woman drown and back then, we did not talk about things much, we were told to forget about it but it all came rushing back to me. That woman being pulled out of the water. The men trying to resuscitate her. The ambulance coming and pronouncing her dead. I was in the same class as her daughter and lived across the family and as she was our neighbour so it was a very traumatic event. It had a terrible impact on her 4 children afterwards and of course, it made those of us who were there wary of the beach and the danger of currents.
I actually had to go to my GP this week because I kept having flashbacks of running into the water and not being able to see my 6 year old. I have burst out crying about 20 times since it happened.
I know its not logical but I keep thinking, what if I had lost her? What if I hadn’t found her?
My GP told me to write it all down as she said this would help.
so there it is, I am an emotional mess this week. I know she is and was ok but I got such a terrible, terrible fright.
Am I being OTT? Am I over reacting? Any advice would be welcome. xJuly 6, 2018 at 6:31 pm #140725
Awhhh Sabbi,you poor thing.its always scarey when you lose sight of kids but you had the added trauma of what you witnessed as a child.i hope writing it down has helped you a bit.big hugs x
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